Stealer of Hearts
Did You Regret It?
I slowly made my way back towards Good Charlotte's bus, taking the time to clear my head - to think things through and calm myself. I was the last person outside - everyone else waiting on me before the drivers can pull out and continue on further down the road towards our next destination.
What was I supposed to do about this for the rest of the tour?
I got on the bus and gave the driver the okay signal to start driving after the other busses. I made sure to lock the door behind me; you'll never know what may happen. The door can fly open if the bus hits a bump or ditch hard enough, the guys can be messing around and fall out the door... the possibilities were endless. Of course, this had happened before.
That's probably why I know to actually lock the door - from personal experiences.
I turned around and sighed at the sight of Billy standing in front of the mirror, holding a bloody towel rag up to his lips; Benji was helping him. I reached into the mini-fridge and pulled out a small ice pack, along with a small, clean hand towel that laid around in the cupboards.
Benji saw me come over with the two objects and he pulled Billy away from the mirror, pushing him to sit down on the couch. He took the bloody rag away from him and went over to the sink where he rinsed it out. I sat down next to Billy, sitting on the arm rest just to be on a higher level on him.
Placing my fingertips under his chin, I tilted his head up into view so that I could see. The damages on him weren't as bad as what I saw that was visible on Zacky. I lightly dabbed at the cut on his lower lip, grimacing at the thought of how it would feel if the lip ring were to rip the flesh apart completely.
Handing him the ice pack, I relaxed my body and leaned back, placing my elbows on top of my knees. I watched as he carefully placed the ice pack on his lip, wincing as the cold triggered a feeling of pain.
"I'm sorry for all of this," I muttered, looking down at my hands. I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eyes, and he stayed silent.
"Why would you need to be sorry?" Benji asked, sitting down next to Billy. He positioned himself the way I was - slumped over, hands clasped together, and elbows on his knees. He looked at me patiently, expecting an answer. Billy still sat back, quiet with the ice pack held to his lip.
I shrugged, unsure of what to say. "I-I just didn't think that he'd be like that-" I paused, trying to find something else to say as he waited for more. I gave up, shrugging once more. "I'm not so sure what had happened." I ran my fingers through Billy's hair, who had now leaned his head against my leg.
"It's not your fault." I heard him mumble, before he got up and briskly went to the bunk area. I groaned to myself, frustrated. I was hoping not to hear that line at all during this whole thing. I turned to Benji. "What do you think of this whole thing?" Iasked demanded, annoyed.
He simply shrugged. "It was unexpected, that's for sure."
I hopped off the armrest and quickly went after Billy to the bunks, resisting the urge to stomp my feet on the way. Of all the bunks - that were mostly empty, only one had its curtains closed; it was obvious that he was in there. My hand hesitated about an inch away from the material, taking a moment to listen to Joel and Paul, who was behind the closed door that led to the back lounge.
It sounded like they were enjoying a game of some sort.
I lightly gripped onto the soft material with my fingertips and cautiously pulled it back. I peeked in, seeing him lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. I pulled the curtains back a bit further more, just enough for me to squeeze through into the bunk, and closed it behind me. I sat near the end of the bunk where his feet rested, crossing my legs and resting my hands in my lap.
"Billy?" I called him but he continued to look at the ceiling. I frowned; either he was ignoring me, or he was listening without giving me a sign that he was. I decided to go on either way. "What are you thinking about?" I wasn't afraid of his answer - I wouldn't be afraid of his answer.
He sighed and shrugged. "Maybe I shouldn't have kissed you," he replied, barely audible and I frowned at him.
"Billy, don't be ridiculous." I patted his legs. "I think it was the best thing that happened," I said, thinking my words over. "It was better to finally get things settled than go on pretending like nothing happened between them." I shrugged and studied his facial expression. It was blank, just the same as before. I sighed. "You don't regret it, do you?" I questioned him softly. I tried to control the goose bumps that threatened to appear on my skin, in fear of what he might've felt.
He seemed to think about it for a short while, before shaking his head. He looked down at me. "No, I don't."
I smiled and relaxed. "Good. That's all that matters," I told him, reaching for a hug. He smiled and sat up straight, pulling me towards him. I laid my head against his chest and stayed that way for a few moments, finally feeling comfortable and at ease. I concentrated on the silence that had fallen around us, and the sound of his steady heartbeat, up until when he shifted his position.
I looked up at him and he looked down at me. "I just hope that everything works out for Tuesday Morning," he told me sincerely and I sighed, hating the fact that he had reminded me about it.
"I don't think things will," I told him softly. "I think we'll most likely last only a little while longer. We'll probably be gone a few months after this tour ends." I shrugged my shoulders and he pushed me away, only to be able to look at me as we talked.
"What do you mean?" he asked, concerned and I shrugged again.
"Something just tells me that this will be a permanent change in Jackie, and if so, I can't stand to be around her anymore. If Ayden and Nickie want the band to go on, it's either I go, or she goes. But then it wouldn't be what had originally made Tuesday Morning." I thought and shook my head. "It's either that or quit the whole thing, start a new band of our own with someone else and work their way back to the top again." I glanced at Billy and he was about to say something but I had to cut him off.
"But I will stay with the band for as long as I can or as long as it lasts. Who knows, maybe things will get better and I wouldn't have to leave after all," I stated and he nodded, seeming satisfied.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and went in for another hug, which he gladly accepted. I laid my head back on his chest, as I did before, and resumed back to concentrating on the silence, Paul and Joel's laughter, and his heartbeat. I wanted nothing more than to escape and be overcome with sleep.
What was I supposed to do about this for the rest of the tour?
I got on the bus and gave the driver the okay signal to start driving after the other busses. I made sure to lock the door behind me; you'll never know what may happen. The door can fly open if the bus hits a bump or ditch hard enough, the guys can be messing around and fall out the door... the possibilities were endless. Of course, this had happened before.
That's probably why I know to actually lock the door - from personal experiences.
I turned around and sighed at the sight of Billy standing in front of the mirror, holding a bloody towel rag up to his lips; Benji was helping him. I reached into the mini-fridge and pulled out a small ice pack, along with a small, clean hand towel that laid around in the cupboards.
Benji saw me come over with the two objects and he pulled Billy away from the mirror, pushing him to sit down on the couch. He took the bloody rag away from him and went over to the sink where he rinsed it out. I sat down next to Billy, sitting on the arm rest just to be on a higher level on him.
Placing my fingertips under his chin, I tilted his head up into view so that I could see. The damages on him weren't as bad as what I saw that was visible on Zacky. I lightly dabbed at the cut on his lower lip, grimacing at the thought of how it would feel if the lip ring were to rip the flesh apart completely.
Handing him the ice pack, I relaxed my body and leaned back, placing my elbows on top of my knees. I watched as he carefully placed the ice pack on his lip, wincing as the cold triggered a feeling of pain.
"I'm sorry for all of this," I muttered, looking down at my hands. I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eyes, and he stayed silent.
"Why would you need to be sorry?" Benji asked, sitting down next to Billy. He positioned himself the way I was - slumped over, hands clasped together, and elbows on his knees. He looked at me patiently, expecting an answer. Billy still sat back, quiet with the ice pack held to his lip.
I shrugged, unsure of what to say. "I-I just didn't think that he'd be like that-" I paused, trying to find something else to say as he waited for more. I gave up, shrugging once more. "I'm not so sure what had happened." I ran my fingers through Billy's hair, who had now leaned his head against my leg.
"It's not your fault." I heard him mumble, before he got up and briskly went to the bunk area. I groaned to myself, frustrated. I was hoping not to hear that line at all during this whole thing. I turned to Benji. "What do you think of this whole thing?" Iasked demanded, annoyed.
He simply shrugged. "It was unexpected, that's for sure."
I hopped off the armrest and quickly went after Billy to the bunks, resisting the urge to stomp my feet on the way. Of all the bunks - that were mostly empty, only one had its curtains closed; it was obvious that he was in there. My hand hesitated about an inch away from the material, taking a moment to listen to Joel and Paul, who was behind the closed door that led to the back lounge.
It sounded like they were enjoying a game of some sort.
I lightly gripped onto the soft material with my fingertips and cautiously pulled it back. I peeked in, seeing him lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. I pulled the curtains back a bit further more, just enough for me to squeeze through into the bunk, and closed it behind me. I sat near the end of the bunk where his feet rested, crossing my legs and resting my hands in my lap.
"Billy?" I called him but he continued to look at the ceiling. I frowned; either he was ignoring me, or he was listening without giving me a sign that he was. I decided to go on either way. "What are you thinking about?" I wasn't afraid of his answer - I wouldn't be afraid of his answer.
He sighed and shrugged. "Maybe I shouldn't have kissed you," he replied, barely audible and I frowned at him.
"Billy, don't be ridiculous." I patted his legs. "I think it was the best thing that happened," I said, thinking my words over. "It was better to finally get things settled than go on pretending like nothing happened between them." I shrugged and studied his facial expression. It was blank, just the same as before. I sighed. "You don't regret it, do you?" I questioned him softly. I tried to control the goose bumps that threatened to appear on my skin, in fear of what he might've felt.
He seemed to think about it for a short while, before shaking his head. He looked down at me. "No, I don't."
I smiled and relaxed. "Good. That's all that matters," I told him, reaching for a hug. He smiled and sat up straight, pulling me towards him. I laid my head against his chest and stayed that way for a few moments, finally feeling comfortable and at ease. I concentrated on the silence that had fallen around us, and the sound of his steady heartbeat, up until when he shifted his position.
I looked up at him and he looked down at me. "I just hope that everything works out for Tuesday Morning," he told me sincerely and I sighed, hating the fact that he had reminded me about it.
"I don't think things will," I told him softly. "I think we'll most likely last only a little while longer. We'll probably be gone a few months after this tour ends." I shrugged my shoulders and he pushed me away, only to be able to look at me as we talked.
"What do you mean?" he asked, concerned and I shrugged again.
"Something just tells me that this will be a permanent change in Jackie, and if so, I can't stand to be around her anymore. If Ayden and Nickie want the band to go on, it's either I go, or she goes. But then it wouldn't be what had originally made Tuesday Morning." I thought and shook my head. "It's either that or quit the whole thing, start a new band of our own with someone else and work their way back to the top again." I glanced at Billy and he was about to say something but I had to cut him off.
"But I will stay with the band for as long as I can or as long as it lasts. Who knows, maybe things will get better and I wouldn't have to leave after all," I stated and he nodded, seeming satisfied.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and went in for another hug, which he gladly accepted. I laid my head back on his chest, as I did before, and resumed back to concentrating on the silence, Paul and Joel's laughter, and his heartbeat. I wanted nothing more than to escape and be overcome with sleep.