The Life of She
library
Her first memory is one of a dream; more of a nightmare really, if you can call it that. A child’s scariest thoughts can only be described as mostly imaginary. However, her fear comes from being abandoned. Stuck in an unfamiliar place, looking for the only life line she’s ever known; her mother.
The faux blonde hair and her back is all she catches as the woman twists and turns down the aisles and aisles of books. Library is the word that jumps into her mind. She’s in a library. The acknowledgment leaves her mind like a fluttering butterfly; there one moment, the next fleeing to find the next meal.
She runs as fast as her little legs will take her, but her mother is always out of reach. Sometimes, she can feel the soft hair brushing against her cheek, other times she can smell the perfume she always wears. She’s an inch away from brushing the cotton of her shirt when her mother disappears completely. She’s alone in the library.
She knows it’s a dream because she’s well aware of the fact that her mother would never leave her. If she, as a five year old, is aware of anything, it’s that. But no matter how many times she tries to wake herself, she’s stuck in the library. There’s nothing there to be scared of, only books, but a fear consumes her and all she wants to do it cry.
Maybe her tears are the thing that wakes her up, or maybe it’s the rays of light hitting her eyes. She doesn’t know which; she only knows that she’s awake. She remembers the library, but she doesn’t remember her life. This is the first memory she has, and she feels like a stranger in her own life.
Leaving the bed, she walks into the living room to see the woman from the dream sitting on the couch and very much within her reach. She wants to touch her, to make sure she’s real, but she doesn’t know who she is. She can only hope it’s her mother. When she smiles and says good morning, she plays along. Whether she remembers it or not, this is her life.
The memories after that moment are blanks in her mind for years. She only relives those years through stories told by family that was there to witness it.
But she always remembers that library.
The faux blonde hair and her back is all she catches as the woman twists and turns down the aisles and aisles of books. Library is the word that jumps into her mind. She’s in a library. The acknowledgment leaves her mind like a fluttering butterfly; there one moment, the next fleeing to find the next meal.
She runs as fast as her little legs will take her, but her mother is always out of reach. Sometimes, she can feel the soft hair brushing against her cheek, other times she can smell the perfume she always wears. She’s an inch away from brushing the cotton of her shirt when her mother disappears completely. She’s alone in the library.
She knows it’s a dream because she’s well aware of the fact that her mother would never leave her. If she, as a five year old, is aware of anything, it’s that. But no matter how many times she tries to wake herself, she’s stuck in the library. There’s nothing there to be scared of, only books, but a fear consumes her and all she wants to do it cry.
Maybe her tears are the thing that wakes her up, or maybe it’s the rays of light hitting her eyes. She doesn’t know which; she only knows that she’s awake. She remembers the library, but she doesn’t remember her life. This is the first memory she has, and she feels like a stranger in her own life.
Leaving the bed, she walks into the living room to see the woman from the dream sitting on the couch and very much within her reach. She wants to touch her, to make sure she’s real, but she doesn’t know who she is. She can only hope it’s her mother. When she smiles and says good morning, she plays along. Whether she remembers it or not, this is her life.
The memories after that moment are blanks in her mind for years. She only relives those years through stories told by family that was there to witness it.
But she always remembers that library.
♠ ♠ ♠
After a couple stressful and emotional chats today, as well as some inspiration, I decided to write this. It's not going to be long, both word wise as well as chapter wise, but it might be a good read for some of you :]