Beautiful
one
I know the 2010 finals were in Philly, but I didn't figure that out until I was almost done. Hopefully the setting doesn't throw you off. Sorry!
__________________________________________________________
The world is a beautiful place but sometimes we meet people that make it less beautiful with words of hate and anger that are sometimes unnecessary. That was something that consumed Annie's life until the age of 18 when she escaped the hands of her drunk stepfather and verbally abusive mother.
Worthless, stupid, ungrateful, ugly... these were the words that echoed through her brain now and then, words that she even sometimes believed.
A past like that can make it difficult to let people in, and that was the case for Annie, sadly. She had relationships but they never progressed because of interference of family and her own insecurities.
She stood in front of the mirror in her one bedroom Chicago apartment. A hairbrush, black nailpolish and books covered the dresser. She stared for a moment, looking up and down at herself. She was in a blackhawks t-shirt and black shorts. Her brown hair sat lifeless around her shoulders, her eyes were puffy and dark from lack of sleep and her skin was pale. She wasn't thin, but she wasn't huge either, her curves were the only thing that were really noticeable about her and even those she wished were not.
Ugly ugly ugly ugly
The words repeated in her head like a bad song. All she wanted was to look in the mirror once in a while and feel a little bit better about herself. At 21 the words of her mother still haunted her every day.
Her phone vibrated on her bed and she jumped on it seeing her best friend Kris' name. She slid her finger across the screen and put it up to her ear, "Hi ho sailor" she answered turning onto her back, "Late breakfast?" he asked, "Just finished practice"
"Tonight's game six" she said, "And you want to see me?"
"What better way to spend it?"
The words made her stomach flip. Knowing that someone like him still would rather spend his time with her was still hard to believe. There was something about him that made her see things differently, see the world in a different light and stop running from her past.
"How could I say no to you?" she smiled, "Pick me up in a half hour?"
"Be there soon lovely"
"Can't wait" she hung up her phone and suddenly she had a jump in her step knowing who she would see in a matter of time. She slipped on a red v-neck top and black denims. She fiddled with her hair before simply running a hand through it and leaving it straight and as she heard the knock on her door she put on some light makeup and gloss before running to the door to meet him.
He stood in her doorway in a black fitted hoodie and dark blue jeans. His blonde hair was tucked under a backwards Blackhawks caps while a few strands stuck out the side. She felt her stomach flip when their eyes met and he smiled, "You look lovely as always" he commented. As many times as he said it, she still found it hard to believe, even though it was one of the first comments that came out of his mouth when they met in the bar that cool December evening. They had both had a few and he had said, "Pretty girls should not have to pay for their own drinks". Cheesy but effective and the rest is history. They've become the best of friends and his hockey superstardom has yet to even phase her.
"And you're a liar Steegs" she said closing and locking the door behind her. He wrapped an arm around loosely around her neck as they walked down the hall of her apartment, "I don't lie Robbie" he said in a mocking tone. He called her Robbie based on her last name Roberts, and knew she absolutely hated it, but of course he used it anyways, an annoying quirk of his.
The sun was shining on a busy Saturday morning and it was pretty warm for April. For once the rain wasn't pouring down and most people were out getting what they could of the sunshine.
Kris watched her as she eyed the many girls that passed her. He knew what her past was like, he knew her secrets and he knew her insecurities. But he wished he knew what ran through her head every time she walked past them, he wished he could understand the pain. He wished she would understand how beautiful he knew she was.
The two of them had never crossed the lines of friendship in the few months they knew each other, but lately they had both thought of it. He was beginning to notice how her clothing always brought out the curves in all the right places and how her dark hair brought out the blue in her eyes. No matter how many hints he dropped, she never seemed to pick up on it. He wished how she felt about herself would stop interfering with her feelings for others.
She had caught Kris staring once or twice but never wanted to face the fact that he could actually feel something for her. She certainly noticed the quirky smile and pale blue eyes that singled him out from the rest, the ones that always made her stomach flip when they lit up in her presence. But she refused to believe that someone of his status could think of her in any other way.
They sat down and ordered the same as always and chatted their way through breakfast. He took the bill as he always did and signed a few t-shirts before leaving the small restaurant.
As they took a long walk down Chicago streets, back to her apartment she felt nothing but joy just being around him. They didn't even have to speak, his presence was good enough to keep those haunting words buried for a brief few hours.
"So are you excited about tonight?" she asked keeping her eyes on the cement.
"I am" he nodded, "This could be it, we could hoist the cup tonight" he shook his head in disbelief, "This is everything you dream of as a kid"
She just smiled and he couldn't help but respond with a smile. He loved her smile. It was a smile that was bright, but hid alot of secrets, "You'll be there right? I'll feel better if you're there"
"Of course! I wouldn't miss this"
When they made it to the door of her apartment, she reached up and gave him a hug, wrapping her arms tight around his neck. She breathed him in and didn't want to let go. When she loosened her grip and pulled away his hands gripped a little tighter on her waist and her stomach did a backflip. She met his gaze and then his moved down to her lips and suddenly the words creeped back into her head.
You're nothing, he'll drop you when he sees who you really are, he's out of your league, you're a worthless waste of time
She took a deep breath and stood back before he could do anything and shook her head, "Don't..."
"Why won't you let me in?"
"I let you in enough" she said fumbling her keys, "You know what I've been through and how I still struggle. I'm trying Kris"
"I don't think you are because I'm completely willing and it's like it's easier to keep me at a distance" she didn't want to admit it but she knew it was true. There was this huge part of her that wanted him so badly but it's like this other personality comes along and she protects herself from something that she thinks will happen.
She turned to look at him she wished she knew how to make it stop, how to give it all up and just be his, "I just wish you would believe me when I tell you how lovely you are. You really don't know"
"I'm not"
He just shook his head, "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You're a quiet spirit...most of the time" he smirked at that, "You have the bluest eyes that light up when we're together..." he stopped for a moment and brushed her bangs out of her eyes, "and you're hair is always perfect, even when it's messy"
"Where is this coming from?"
"I should have said it a long time ago"
"Kris...I can't. I don't want to hurt you"
"No I think it's you who doesn't want to get hurt"
"Am I not allowed to feel like that?" she snapped, "Am I not allowed to protect myself?"
"From what?" his voice raised a bit higher now but she stood her ground, "I'm not them. I'm not the ones spitting those lies in your head. I'd kill before I would ever deliberately hurt you"
She closed her eyes for a minute and choked back a few tears, "I think you need to go"
"Don't..." he said quietly, "Please"
She unlocked the door and shut it in his face before letting those choked back tears rain down her face. She heard his footsteps go away from the door and she leaned her back against it, sliding down to sit on the floor in a fit of tears.
"You did this" she said quietly at first. She looked around her apartment wiping the tears from her eyes, "You did this!" her voice was getting louder now, "You're the reason I see ugliness, and worthlessness!" she stood up and opened the cabinet in the kitchen throwing dishes one by one on the ground, "You did this!" she screamed this time before falling to the ground in another fit of sobs. She pushed the broken glass away and leaned her head against the cabinet door. She had no energy left and she still didn't feel any better. She still heard them laughing in the back of her head at her sad attempts to get rid of them.
After 21 years she just wanted it to all stop.
She sat there for hours while the voices seemed to get louder and louder and in this moment she wished Kris was beside her. It's like it was impossible for them to get into her head when he was there, because she smiled with him, she laughed with him and she was truly happy with him.
"It's him" she said to herself, "It's always been him"
He was going to make it all stop.
She finally mustered the energy to stand up and walk into her bedroom, changing into her Blackhawks t-shirt with 32 on the back. She looked at the time and figured by the time she got through game day traffic, it would be close to game time.
The Madhouse was certainly buzzing today. The atmosphere was incredible. They were possibly 60 minutes away from a Stanley cup and everyone was anticipating it.
The game went back and forth all night, but she kept her eyes on number 32 from her seat only a few rows behind the Hawks bench. He hadn't managed to see her, I don't think he expected her to come after their argument.
At this point the game was all that he could think about, but during the intermission before the overtime, she was all he could think about. He didn't want her to see them lose, he didn't want her to see him at his worst, but he knew he didn't have too much control whether they won or lost. He just knew he couldn't bear to see her face.
As they came out for the overtime period, she watched Kris sit down on the bench. His face was nervous, as was everyone's in the building. There was too much on the line and she didn't know if she could bear seeing him upset. He was the one that kept her spirits up, she didn't have it in her to keep his pain away.
The clock ticked down from 20:00 and now her nerves were completely shot. Every whistle, every close call, every save made her clutch her chest.
Then at 15:54 of the overtime period Patrick Kane takes a shot at the net and reacts to winning the Stanley Cup when no one else knows where the puck went. She looked around at everyone else and cheering erupted in spurts and then suddenly the whole building was cheering and the team was congratulating each other on the ice. Her heart bursted and she pulled herself through the crowd and ran down the stairs, showed her id to security and continued running. They wouldn't let her on the ice but she searched frantically around the team for his face. She just needed to see his face. There was confetti falling, which made it more difficult to pick anyone out. She stood on the bench and continued looking and got more nervous. Finally, just barely audible, she heard her name, "Annie!"
She jumped down and spotted him. She leaned over the boards and wrapped her arms around his neck, sweat and all and wouldn't let go of him, "I get it now. Finally I can see the beauty"
He pulled her back from him and kept his eyes on hers, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to say that"
"When I look at you in a moment like this...how can you not see it? It's beautiful"
"Like you" he was using his cheesy line again, but at this point she didn't even care. She grabbed the collar of his jersey and pressed her lips to his, like she's wanted to do for so long.
"It's always been you" she mumbled into his neck, "It will always be you"
__________________________________________________________
The world is a beautiful place but sometimes we meet people that make it less beautiful with words of hate and anger that are sometimes unnecessary. That was something that consumed Annie's life until the age of 18 when she escaped the hands of her drunk stepfather and verbally abusive mother.
Worthless, stupid, ungrateful, ugly... these were the words that echoed through her brain now and then, words that she even sometimes believed.
A past like that can make it difficult to let people in, and that was the case for Annie, sadly. She had relationships but they never progressed because of interference of family and her own insecurities.
She stood in front of the mirror in her one bedroom Chicago apartment. A hairbrush, black nailpolish and books covered the dresser. She stared for a moment, looking up and down at herself. She was in a blackhawks t-shirt and black shorts. Her brown hair sat lifeless around her shoulders, her eyes were puffy and dark from lack of sleep and her skin was pale. She wasn't thin, but she wasn't huge either, her curves were the only thing that were really noticeable about her and even those she wished were not.
Ugly ugly ugly ugly
The words repeated in her head like a bad song. All she wanted was to look in the mirror once in a while and feel a little bit better about herself. At 21 the words of her mother still haunted her every day.
Her phone vibrated on her bed and she jumped on it seeing her best friend Kris' name. She slid her finger across the screen and put it up to her ear, "Hi ho sailor" she answered turning onto her back, "Late breakfast?" he asked, "Just finished practice"
"Tonight's game six" she said, "And you want to see me?"
"What better way to spend it?"
The words made her stomach flip. Knowing that someone like him still would rather spend his time with her was still hard to believe. There was something about him that made her see things differently, see the world in a different light and stop running from her past.
"How could I say no to you?" she smiled, "Pick me up in a half hour?"
"Be there soon lovely"
"Can't wait" she hung up her phone and suddenly she had a jump in her step knowing who she would see in a matter of time. She slipped on a red v-neck top and black denims. She fiddled with her hair before simply running a hand through it and leaving it straight and as she heard the knock on her door she put on some light makeup and gloss before running to the door to meet him.
He stood in her doorway in a black fitted hoodie and dark blue jeans. His blonde hair was tucked under a backwards Blackhawks caps while a few strands stuck out the side. She felt her stomach flip when their eyes met and he smiled, "You look lovely as always" he commented. As many times as he said it, she still found it hard to believe, even though it was one of the first comments that came out of his mouth when they met in the bar that cool December evening. They had both had a few and he had said, "Pretty girls should not have to pay for their own drinks". Cheesy but effective and the rest is history. They've become the best of friends and his hockey superstardom has yet to even phase her.
"And you're a liar Steegs" she said closing and locking the door behind her. He wrapped an arm around loosely around her neck as they walked down the hall of her apartment, "I don't lie Robbie" he said in a mocking tone. He called her Robbie based on her last name Roberts, and knew she absolutely hated it, but of course he used it anyways, an annoying quirk of his.
The sun was shining on a busy Saturday morning and it was pretty warm for April. For once the rain wasn't pouring down and most people were out getting what they could of the sunshine.
Kris watched her as she eyed the many girls that passed her. He knew what her past was like, he knew her secrets and he knew her insecurities. But he wished he knew what ran through her head every time she walked past them, he wished he could understand the pain. He wished she would understand how beautiful he knew she was.
The two of them had never crossed the lines of friendship in the few months they knew each other, but lately they had both thought of it. He was beginning to notice how her clothing always brought out the curves in all the right places and how her dark hair brought out the blue in her eyes. No matter how many hints he dropped, she never seemed to pick up on it. He wished how she felt about herself would stop interfering with her feelings for others.
She had caught Kris staring once or twice but never wanted to face the fact that he could actually feel something for her. She certainly noticed the quirky smile and pale blue eyes that singled him out from the rest, the ones that always made her stomach flip when they lit up in her presence. But she refused to believe that someone of his status could think of her in any other way.
They sat down and ordered the same as always and chatted their way through breakfast. He took the bill as he always did and signed a few t-shirts before leaving the small restaurant.
As they took a long walk down Chicago streets, back to her apartment she felt nothing but joy just being around him. They didn't even have to speak, his presence was good enough to keep those haunting words buried for a brief few hours.
"So are you excited about tonight?" she asked keeping her eyes on the cement.
"I am" he nodded, "This could be it, we could hoist the cup tonight" he shook his head in disbelief, "This is everything you dream of as a kid"
She just smiled and he couldn't help but respond with a smile. He loved her smile. It was a smile that was bright, but hid alot of secrets, "You'll be there right? I'll feel better if you're there"
"Of course! I wouldn't miss this"
When they made it to the door of her apartment, she reached up and gave him a hug, wrapping her arms tight around his neck. She breathed him in and didn't want to let go. When she loosened her grip and pulled away his hands gripped a little tighter on her waist and her stomach did a backflip. She met his gaze and then his moved down to her lips and suddenly the words creeped back into her head.
You're nothing, he'll drop you when he sees who you really are, he's out of your league, you're a worthless waste of time
She took a deep breath and stood back before he could do anything and shook her head, "Don't..."
"Why won't you let me in?"
"I let you in enough" she said fumbling her keys, "You know what I've been through and how I still struggle. I'm trying Kris"
"I don't think you are because I'm completely willing and it's like it's easier to keep me at a distance" she didn't want to admit it but she knew it was true. There was this huge part of her that wanted him so badly but it's like this other personality comes along and she protects herself from something that she thinks will happen.
She turned to look at him she wished she knew how to make it stop, how to give it all up and just be his, "I just wish you would believe me when I tell you how lovely you are. You really don't know"
"I'm not"
He just shook his head, "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You're a quiet spirit...most of the time" he smirked at that, "You have the bluest eyes that light up when we're together..." he stopped for a moment and brushed her bangs out of her eyes, "and you're hair is always perfect, even when it's messy"
"Where is this coming from?"
"I should have said it a long time ago"
"Kris...I can't. I don't want to hurt you"
"No I think it's you who doesn't want to get hurt"
"Am I not allowed to feel like that?" she snapped, "Am I not allowed to protect myself?"
"From what?" his voice raised a bit higher now but she stood her ground, "I'm not them. I'm not the ones spitting those lies in your head. I'd kill before I would ever deliberately hurt you"
She closed her eyes for a minute and choked back a few tears, "I think you need to go"
"Don't..." he said quietly, "Please"
She unlocked the door and shut it in his face before letting those choked back tears rain down her face. She heard his footsteps go away from the door and she leaned her back against it, sliding down to sit on the floor in a fit of tears.
"You did this" she said quietly at first. She looked around her apartment wiping the tears from her eyes, "You did this!" her voice was getting louder now, "You're the reason I see ugliness, and worthlessness!" she stood up and opened the cabinet in the kitchen throwing dishes one by one on the ground, "You did this!" she screamed this time before falling to the ground in another fit of sobs. She pushed the broken glass away and leaned her head against the cabinet door. She had no energy left and she still didn't feel any better. She still heard them laughing in the back of her head at her sad attempts to get rid of them.
After 21 years she just wanted it to all stop.
She sat there for hours while the voices seemed to get louder and louder and in this moment she wished Kris was beside her. It's like it was impossible for them to get into her head when he was there, because she smiled with him, she laughed with him and she was truly happy with him.
"It's him" she said to herself, "It's always been him"
He was going to make it all stop.
She finally mustered the energy to stand up and walk into her bedroom, changing into her Blackhawks t-shirt with 32 on the back. She looked at the time and figured by the time she got through game day traffic, it would be close to game time.
The Madhouse was certainly buzzing today. The atmosphere was incredible. They were possibly 60 minutes away from a Stanley cup and everyone was anticipating it.
The game went back and forth all night, but she kept her eyes on number 32 from her seat only a few rows behind the Hawks bench. He hadn't managed to see her, I don't think he expected her to come after their argument.
At this point the game was all that he could think about, but during the intermission before the overtime, she was all he could think about. He didn't want her to see them lose, he didn't want her to see him at his worst, but he knew he didn't have too much control whether they won or lost. He just knew he couldn't bear to see her face.
As they came out for the overtime period, she watched Kris sit down on the bench. His face was nervous, as was everyone's in the building. There was too much on the line and she didn't know if she could bear seeing him upset. He was the one that kept her spirits up, she didn't have it in her to keep his pain away.
The clock ticked down from 20:00 and now her nerves were completely shot. Every whistle, every close call, every save made her clutch her chest.
Then at 15:54 of the overtime period Patrick Kane takes a shot at the net and reacts to winning the Stanley Cup when no one else knows where the puck went. She looked around at everyone else and cheering erupted in spurts and then suddenly the whole building was cheering and the team was congratulating each other on the ice. Her heart bursted and she pulled herself through the crowd and ran down the stairs, showed her id to security and continued running. They wouldn't let her on the ice but she searched frantically around the team for his face. She just needed to see his face. There was confetti falling, which made it more difficult to pick anyone out. She stood on the bench and continued looking and got more nervous. Finally, just barely audible, she heard her name, "Annie!"
She jumped down and spotted him. She leaned over the boards and wrapped her arms around his neck, sweat and all and wouldn't let go of him, "I get it now. Finally I can see the beauty"
He pulled her back from him and kept his eyes on hers, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to say that"
"When I look at you in a moment like this...how can you not see it? It's beautiful"
"Like you" he was using his cheesy line again, but at this point she didn't even care. She grabbed the collar of his jersey and pressed her lips to his, like she's wanted to do for so long.
"It's always been you" she mumbled into his neck, "It will always be you"