My Alter Ego and I

First off, why's your heart palpitating? And secondly, why are you getting nervous, and don't want to pick up your phone? Let me guess, you're in love. No, no, not another word from you, mister. Stop all the denial, and why don't you just admit that you really are indeed in love? Oh, and let me have another guess, you don't want to admit and you never will because you don't want to lose her? That's just simply preposterous. Don't you think that you're looking pathetic as of now? However, many people say and think that you're indeed in love, so whatever you say or do to defend yourself is simply worthless. You're only wasting your time. So why don't you be a man, and confront the situation? I'm pretty sure that some people will celebrate of your manliness.

You're shaking your head? You're such a coward, you know that? Your antics are nothing but full of cowardice and lies. Pretty much, you're deceiving her of your indecency. No, you're not going to lose her. You have to believe me in that. You don't believe me? Why not? Is not what I say is true? I didn't lie. I don't lie to you, and you know that to yourself. You're not going to lose her. You're just going to admit to yourself that you care too much of her well-being, that you're willing to sacrifice everything, and that you love her too much in such a way that you're scared of losing her forever. You're her best friend, and that's why you're scared. Because all the memories that you two spent doing on might get lost and not be remembered at all. Is that what you're afraid of? Is it? Really?

What a coward. That's how love works. I know you give up easily, and you fall easily, but there's nothing you can do but to fight for it. Be strong, Puffer. You're just losing hope, and I know that you don't want to feel that way anymore, so you try to stop feeling. But you see, that's even worthless, too. It's not right at all. What matters is that there are some pieces left in you to love someone right, don't you agree? But then, you just want HER. Just simply HER, nothing but HER. Why, you may wonder? That's because you don't want another one to replace her position. She was great, she was beautiful, and most of all, she was perfect ... as your best friend. You don't ever want anyone to replace that. Why? Because you're used to it already. You don't want someone new again, and then replace and replace. That's the cycle of life, embrace it! But you, in any way, don't want to. Why? Because you're sick of it. It always happens, that's what you think.

So you try to wait and wait, but really, was it worth it? Whatever you're doing, is it? Let me give you some advice: waiting is not expecting. It is entirely different. You see, when you expect, you wait, and same goes for otherwise. So stop worrying. You have done nothing wrong. You just simply didn't want this. But hey, calm down, okay? She's not going to leave, maybe you will.