In Love and Death

"Sam?"

Was someone calling him? He couldn't tell. He couldn't see anything... his head was all fuzzy... he had no idea where he was.

"Sam? Sam, please answer me."

Yes, he could definitely hear something. Or could he? Maybe he was just imagining it?

He felt someone start to shake him. Even though his senses were dulled, it was still irritating. He wished whoever it was would stop it. He just wanted to sleep...

"Sam? Sam, babe, please tell me you can hear me."

The voice was more distinct now, and Sam struggled to place it. Because he definitely knew it, didn't he? Otherwise they wouldn't be talking to him like that.

He could feel more movement now, but it was different, more gentle. They weren't shaking him anymore. Instead, he felt whoever it was touch his cheekbone lightly and begin to stroke his face softly.

He definitely knew that touch, because it triggered a lot of previously untouched emotions in him, and there weren't many people capable of doing that.

In fact, there was only one person.

"Jake?" he murmured, eyelids fluttering open.

At first, everything he could see was blurry, indistinct shapes. He soon became aware of something else, though - a dull throbbing in the back of his head, and he suspected it would get a lot worse when he started moving.

"Sam?" the voice said gently, and Sam could see that, as he'd suspected, it belonged to a boy with bright blue eyes and gorgeous smile he was fortunate enough to be able to call his boyfriend.

Before Sam was able to say anything else, however, the older boy pulled him into a tight hug, which instantly sent a warm feeling coursing through him.

"Sammy, I was so worried. You weren't waking up and I was afraid they'd done something really bad to you..." Jake whispered.

What had they done to him, anyway? He could vaguely recall pain, fear and finally darkness, but that was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up, and then you can tell me what happened, okay? Can you stand up?"

"I-I think so," Sam croaked. Very slowly, and with Jake's hand supporting him from behind, he tried to sit up, but almost lost his balance when a sharp pain appeared in his lower stomach and bright-colored spots began to dance in front of his vision. Jake's arms caught him before he hit the ground and lifted him up gently.

"What happened?" he asked anxiously.

Sam shook his head, dazed, trying to drown out the pain. "It just... hurts," he mumbled, "and, well, it took me by surprise."

He saw Jake's eyebrows pull together. "Those bastards," he growled. "It's good you need me to be here right now, or I'd be chasing after them and beating the shit out of them for even thinking of laying a hand on you."

"Jake, don't. It's okay." Sam hated it when Jake became involved in all this, because he wasn't what you'd call the fighting type, and there was nothing he hated more than seeing him broken and bleeding on the ground because he'd tried to defend him.

Jake looked at him and sighed. "No. It's not okay. I should be doing something to stop this. I just can't stand this... isn't someone supposed to do something? Everyone," he continued bitterly, "everyone in this damn school knows what's going on. And I can't bear to see you like this, baby, all because some asshole's decided you're going to be his punching bag."

There was a moment of silence, and then Jake said softly, "Let's clean all this up, okay?"

Sam nodded and let himself be carried to the sinks, where Jake started dabbing at his bloody face gently with a wet paper towel. He hissed in pain when the cold water came into contact with his bruised cheek.

"What's wrong?" asked Jake anxiously. That was something else Sam couldn't bear - the fact that Jake felt guilty for not being able to do more for him, for not being able to take the pain away.

"The water hurts," Sam mumbled. He saw Jake opening his mouth to say something and he added, "but don't stop, okay? I'm fine."

Jake bit his lip and looked doubtful, but nodded and continued cleaning the blood off Sam's face, until the only thing left were the bruises that were starting to form.

Jake took hold of Sam's chin and pulled his face up gently. He stroked his thumb softly below Sam's eye, where a purple shadow was starting to appear. Jake had had enough experience in dealing with Sam after he'd been beaten up to know that in a couple of hours' time his boyfriend's eye would be completely black.

"Are you sure you can't remember anything, babe?"

Sam hesitated. In truth, he was starting to recall most of it now: how they'd cornered him and shoved him against the wall, the flurry of fists and blows landing on him, a foot ramming into his stomach, nearly making him throw up. How the leader of them had spat in his face and called him a disgusting faggot, and the sickening crack of his skull against the bathroom wall... and then, finally, darkness.

But he knew if he told Jake all this, he'd get so angry he'd go after them, and they'd beat Jake to a pulp too. And there was no way he was allowing that.

"I... I dunno, Jake," he mumbled, "the usual, I guess..."

As he'd expected, Jake scowled. "Fucking morons," he muttered. "Look, Sammy, I know you don't want to tell anyone about this, but this can't carry on. If-"

Sam shook his head vigorously, a look of terror in his eyes.

"We've talked about this, Jake," he whispered. "It'd be no good... nobody would do anything, because nobody gives a shit about me, and then it'd all get ten times worse..." Tears began spilling over the shorter boy's brown eyes, now clouded with fear and pain, and Jake didn't know what he hated more - seeing him in physical or emotional pain. He knew one thing, though - both of them felt like he was having his heart torn right from his chest.

He tried his best to soothe the smaller boy, who was now sobbing, deep sobs that racked his entire body. Jake held him to his chest gently, stroking his face and murmuring lovingly into his ear.

"Shh, Sammy, it'll be okay," he breathed. "I'm here, okay? I always will be. I promise I'll never, ever leave you, no matter what." He placed a soft kiss on the younger boy's dark hair. "Never forget that."

Sam lifted his head up to look at Jake, eyes shimmering with tears. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you, Jake... for everything..." He then buried his face in Jake's chest again, and his shoulders convulsed slightly.

Jake prised the smaller boy's face away from his body gently, then took hold of his chin and lifted it upwards. He smiled at Sam and then put his fingertips on the corners of his lips, pulling them up, like he always did when he was trying to cheer Sam up, and it never failed. Sam looked unsure for a moment and then his lips formed a small, hesitant smile.

The two boys looked each other in the eyes for an instant, and somehow, it seemed as if the silence was enveloping them both and time had stopped momentarily. But the instant was shattered by a loud ringing, signaling the start of classes again.

Sam unwillingly pulled away form the older boy and attempted to stand up again. This time, he was more successful - but once he was upright, everything started spinning uncontrollably and he had to hold onto the first thing he could reach to steady himself - which happened to be Jake's forearm.

The two boys' gazes locked on each other again, and then Jake took Sam's hands in his own and placed a short, sweet kiss on the other boy's lips. They pulled apart, Jake smiling, seeing the blush starting to creep into the younger boy's cheeks. They'd been dating for nearly three months now... but they were taking things extremely slow. Kisses weren't exactly rare, but they weren't an everyday thing either. And neither of them took them for granted.

Jake loved the way Sam's cheeks would light up after every kiss, and how his eyes would fill with wonder, like he still couldn't completely believe it. He loved how he was quiet and shy, but if he trusted you completely, sometimes he'd unexpectedly be pouring his heart out to you. It made Jake ecstatic beyond belief that he was one of those few chosen ones, that Sam had complete and utter trust in him. And he'd do absolutely anything for the sweet, vulnerable boy in front of him right now - that much he knew.

Jake squeezed Sam's hand lightly, reassuringly. "I'll see you later, okay? Take care." He leaned in, placed another brief kiss on the shorter boy's lips, smiled and pulled away, leaving Sam blushing, but with a small, loving smile on his lips. He watched Jake turn and walk away in fascination, hips swaying slightly and long legs loping gracefully, and he couldn't help the tiny sigh that escaped his lips. He still couldn't believe Jake had chosen him, of all people. Moments like this, with him, always made Sam forget everything else, and he couldn't fathom what his life would have been like without Jake in it. He'd probably already be dead by now.

Jake turned his head round, saw Sam staring at him and sent him a smile. Sam returned it shyly and ducked his head to pick up his books, which had been strewn all over the bathroom floor but were now, thanks to Jake, in a neat pile on the floor.

He could feel that tingling feeling inside again, the one that always overpowered the pain from the cuts and bruises, and thanked his lucky stars for the thousandth time that he'd been fortunate enough to have Jake in his life.