Fix Me

The sun was setting over the city of Vancouver. Cars were everywhere, making their presences heard as their lights grew only brighter. Shops were closing down for the night and people were heading home for dinner with their families and late night TV. All in all it was a pretty average summer night.
In a more cozy corner of the city, away from the extreme hustle and bustle of cars and people, there was a small café that still had its lights on. The closed sign was up, but if you looked closely you could see the remaining loyal staff members cleaning off the last of the tables and coffee machines.
Up above that café, on the roof to be exact, sat two young children. They sat on the west side of the wide building’s rooftop, watching the bright red ball disappear behind the horizon.
One child was a boy, the other a girl, and both were 7 years old with bright eyes and bushy tails. The boy was taller for his age, with dark hair and bright blue eyes. He was wearing a Spiderman shirt and ripped jean shorts. His accessories were the plethora of dried bloody scrapes and bruises on his knees and elbows. He was learning to ride his bike and it was proving to be difficult. The girl was decorated with the same war wounds, which she didn’t try to hide behind a pink shirt and blue Capri pants. Her hair was long and light brown, pulled back into a dangling ponytail. Her eyes were a shimmering shade of dark green and she was small and frail looking. She had a lot of surprising muscle hidden underneath her fragile outside, though.
The boy reached beside him into a plastic bag and withdrew two Twizzlers. Nudging the girl with his elbow, he handed one to her. As they were chewing on them silently, he looked over to her and smiled.
“Hey, Kali?” he asked around his bite of liquorice.
“Yeah, Josh?” she answered.
“We’re gonna be buddies forever, right?” he inquired quietly. He felt like a wuss asking a girl that question. It wasn’t something tough 7 year old boys asked girls. He was 7 years and 1 month, technically, which made it even worse.
She smiled brightly at him and nodded exuberantly. “Yeah, we will be!”
“Even if one of us does something bad, or when we fight over the good swing on the playground, we’ll still be friends?”
“Well yeah!” She giggled at her best friend. “You’re silly. I’ll always be your friend, Josh. Even when you’re a meanie.”
“Same.” Josh smiled at his companion, feeling safer now that he knew Kali would always be his friend. He may only be 7 years and 1 month, but he knew there were people he didn’t want to ever lose. Kali was one of them. They’d been friends since Kindergarten when Kali sat beside him during Arts and Crafts, and inseparable ever since.
The pair returned their attention to the quickly fading sunset and silently enjoyed their candy. They were so young and so innocent, with a whole world out there waiting for them. They were more than ready to face it all together with heads held high.

“I’ll take your plates and be back with your bill,” Kali smiled at the old couple in the corner table. They came into her mom’s café every day and ordered the same thing. One black coffee and another with double sugar and no cream and two egg salad sandwiches. She had it memorized.
Carefully balancing the mugs and saucers in the already full dirty dish container, she returned to walk back into the kitchen. Suddenly she felt someone poke her right side and she jumped with a small high-pitched squeak.
It was him, of course. Who else would it ever be? He spun around to smirk at her, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. Josh Ramsay. He looked the same as always; messy dark hair and pale skin, twinkling ocean blue eyes and full lips pulled up in a smartass smile. He was wearing the bright red shirt Kali had gotten him for his last birthday and tight black pants with a rainbow belt that could only be his sister’s. He was a weird boy, that much was undeniable. But he was also Kali’s best friend and she loved him no matter what he chose to wear.
Kali half-frowned, half-smiled at him and put her free hand on her hip. “Hey! I’m carrying breakable dishes here, dummy.” she said with a tiny chuckle. She couldn’t be mad at him.
“And kudos to you for not dropping them,” he replied as he sat in front of the counter. He started clapping for her. “I’m impressed.”
“Remind me again why I allow myself to be seen with you in public?” She shook her head at the mischievous boy, printing off a bill for the couple.
Josh smiled at her. He loved seeing her like this. He liked how he knew she wanted to be mad at him but she couldn’t help smiling. She always has such a hard time disliking him, and he used that to his advantage everyday.
“C’mon, waitress, they’re waiting for you over there,” He said as he smacked the countertop. “I think I can hear impatient sighs and repetitive foot-tapping.”
“No, I think that’s just the sound of me trying not to murder you where you sit.” she replied quickly with an eye-roll before she left to tend to the couple.
Josh shook his head and laughed at her remark. She was a feisty one and he couldn’t resist messing with her. He spun around in his seat and watched her. He loved to watch her work some days. She was really good at her job, which wasn’t a shock since she’d been working in her mom’s café for years. He was so used to seeing her with the black half apron on it sometimes felt weird to see her without it. Her long, wavy brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her friendly smile always made her green eyes sparkle. He really liked it when she smiled. Not only did she have perfect teeth after suffering through braces for 2 years, but it always made her whole face light up like a tree on Christmas. Something about that sight made him feel happy, too. He just couldn’t resist seeing it.
While Kali was busy attending to customers, Josh snuck around behind the counter to the kitchen. Reaching into one of the many compartments he snagged himself a slice of chocolate cheesecake. It’d always been his favourite dessert at the café. He could never pass it up. Quickly he raced back to his seat and began to eat the cheesecake as fast as he could. As usual, Kali walked around the counter just as he was raising a forkful to his lips.
“Uh, hey, nice try there, bud,” She laughed, reaching out to pull the cake away from him.
He pulled it back towards him and shook his head. “Nuh-uh,” he mumbled around his cake, “’s mine, it has all my germs on it.”
“Josh, you can’t just steal cake when I’m not looking—”
“You don’t want to compromise your mother’s business, do you? Don’t take food away from the customer, miss.”
She had to chuckle at that one. This kid was ridiculous. “Except, you’re not a customer, seeing as I don’t suppose you intend on paying for that.”
“Do I ever?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Of course you don’t, that’s why I said it.”
“Look, all I’m saying is, I do this on a daily basis. The least you could do is accept it and cut me some slack.” He waved his fork in the air as he spoke to emphasize his words. He liked playing his little game with her; it never got old.
“Ah, mm-hm.” Kali giggled and leaned across the counter towards him, wiping the whip cream off the cake slice with her finger and licking it off.
“Hey!” Josh exclaimed, pulling his cake away from her. “Keep your hypocritical hands off of my cake. Go steal your own.”
“Dork.”
As her shift was coming to an end, Kali wiped down the counter and re-organized everything on it. Anything to fill her time before 5:00 rolled around. Josh finished his cake and cleaned his plate in the kitchen before returning to his seat by Kali.
Looking around the café, he saw several familiar faces. One of them put a bad taste in his mouth. Trace MacDonald was sitting by the window with his douche bag friends who all happened to be wearing their pathetic football jackets. As if that wasn’t enough, his eyes kept roaming over to Kali. Suppressing his rage as best as he could, Josh focused on his friend again.
“Trace MacDouche is looking at you,” he said in a attempt to keep his bitterness at bay.
“Mm, yeah, I noticed, unfortunately,” Kali mumbled. “Do you know last week he asked me to write my number on a napkin for him? I actually puked in my mouth a little.”
“Really?” Josh laughed. “I don’t know, wouldn’t you just love to date the high school quarterback and be a perky cheerleader?”
“Oh, yes, it’s one of my biggest dreams!” Kali sighed as she chewed on a pen. “Please. I’d rather get my eyeballs drilled out of my skull.”
“Good to know there’s no fear of you crossing over to the dark side anytime soon.” He patted her back and looked at the clock. “It’s 5, let’s go.”
“Alright, just give me a sec,” She smiled and disappeared into the back.
As soon as she was gone, Trace’s stares turned to glares and his annoying laughs got much louder. Josh knew they were all directed at him. He wanted to knock Trace out for it, badly; but he couldn’t. Kali was all about the “be the better man” stuff, and Josh aimed to please her. Besides, Kali’s mom’s café was definitely not the place for it.
“Ready?” Kali asked. She’d returned from the back and had traded in her apron for her jacket and purse.
“As always, m’lady.” smiled Josh. He added a small bow before pulling open the door for her.
“Oh, what a gentleman…or are you just making up for stealing the cake?” Kali smirked while she walked out.
Before Josh exited as well, he made sure Trace was watching. Then, he raised his eyebrows and smiled triumphantly for a second before leaving and trailing Kali down the sidewalk.

“You didn’t even notice my new outfit, did you?”
Josh and Kali were in her room, listening to Green Day’s Dookie for probably the millionth time. Josh was sitting back on her bed, looking through her photography album. Kali had always had a knack for picture taking. At her words, he looked up at her. She spun around in a circle to show off the new flowy navy blue top and grey jeans she was wearing. Her hair flew around her and bounced back into place when she stopped.
“Ah, very nice.” He nodded, returning to the album. “What sparked that buy?”
“I don’t know. It was just something new, I guess.” Kali shrugged and sat at the foot of her bed. She raised an eyebrow at Josh’s mismatched socks but didn’t say anything.
“You’re trying to change?” He eyed her overtop of the photo album.
“No, not exactly. It’s just good to expand your horizons sometimes, you know?” She offered a small smile.
“I guess. You look beautiful no matter what, Kali.” Josh shifted uncomfortably.
“Oh! A compliment!” Kali’s mouth opened in shock and she laughed. “Thanks. Do you really think so?”
“Yeah…” he murmured. He’d said the wrong thing and was starting to feel weird about it. Checking the clock, he closed the album and got up off her bed. “I should get going, though. Big day of school tomorrow and stuff.”
Kali laughed slowly, furrowing her brow. “That’s never stopped you from staying before…”
“Yeah, it’s just that my mom…she needs me to…do stuff…I gotta go. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. Bye.” He rushed out of her room and seconds later she heard the front door close.
That was weird…

Stupid! I’m so stupid!
It was dark and Josh was alone with his thoughts. At this point, they were eating him alive.
Why had he opened his mouth at all? Why had he allowed himself to say that? He’d lost control for an instant and called her beautiful. What kind of guy friend says that? At the most a good guy friend would say “You look pretty” or “You’re looking real fancy” or something like that. Definitely not “You look beautiful no matter what.” The worst part was probably that he meant it completely. He’d opened his mouth and almost ruined everything, as usual.
How was he ever going to be good enough for her? How was he ever going to get her to look at him and give him a smile that was all his? Not just a friendly ‘ha ha you’re funny’ smile, but a smile that said ‘you make everything easier; I love you.’
And there he went, thinking about everything he didn’t want to think about again. He was torturing himself with his wishful thinking. Stupid, stupid, stupid… He’d almost spilled his secret today, he couldn’t risk that anymore. It was his only real secret that no one besides him knew…
But it was only the beginning of dirty little secrets for Josh. And he would keep them all from Kali, no matter what it cost him.