Fix Me

"Josh...Josh, wake up." A voice was picking at the edge of his consciousness. It was so familiar yet so distant, and Josh felt as though he hadn't heard it in a long time. Who was that?
"Mm...huh?" Josh moaned into his pillow. He drew the sheets closer in around him but someone pulled them back and giggled.
"Open your eyes, goof," the voice said.
Slowly Josh opened his eyes. He was expecting to be blinded by the fluorescent lighting usually drowning his room or to feel the familiar burn of sleepiness in his eyes. However, his room was drowned in a cool blue light that was more pleasing to the eyes than anything and he felt surprisingly fully awake. He carefully sat up and looked around his room before his eyes landed on a sight that was actually much more pleasant than the blue light.
Josh was shocked to see her sitting there, only a foot away from him. He couldn't speak or even move. He just sat there and stared at her with wide eyes. She looked even more beautiful than he'd remembered. She smiled at him, and it was a smile he'd desired for so long. It was a smile made for him and him alone. It was breathtaking. 
"Kali?" Josh finally stammered. "What are you...how did you get in here...?"
Kali chuckled softly before replying, "I don't know. I just wanted to see you, so I found you."
Josh laughed incredulously. "This is crazy...Nurse Lindsey could come in at any moment, you know. Then we'll both be in trouble."
Kali shook her head and grinned knowingly. "She won't come in, trust me."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do."
Josh smiled and threw his arms around Kali, pulling her closer to him. "I missed you." he said. She felt so good under his arms and his heart rate picked up speed as he touched her.
"I missed you too, Josh." Kali murmured as she returned his hug.
Josh pulled back a bit and searched her with his tranquil blue gaze. "I thought you told my mom you didn't want to come see me..." he said quietly.
"I didn't want to," Kali shrugged.
"Well, why? Why are you here now then?" Josh asked. His brow pinched tighter in confusion and hurt.
"Because," Kali said softly, brushing back Josh's hair, "I wanted to come see you alone."
Oh. "Yeah? How come?" Josh smiled. He liked the feeling of her fingers in his hair.
Kali's eyes roamed Josh's face for a moment and she smiled secretively. "So I could do this." Softly, she pressed her lips to his.
Josh was shocked at first. Is this really happening?! He nearly yelled out loud. It was only a short amount of time before he'd recovered, though. He returned her gentle kiss and pulled her even closer to him. Her lips were like a refreshing drink of the purest water, and he was so dehydrated. In one simple gesture, she had him, and he had her.
Kali's hand rested lightly on the back of Josh's neck and she pulled away an inch. They both smiled slowly but didn't retreat any more.
"Are you sure no one's going to come in?" Josh asked softly. His eyes were a scorching blue, burning through the forest that were her evergreen ones.
Kali nodded twice. "Positive."
"Good." Josh wasted no time reconnecting their kiss. This time it held more passion, and they fell back onto his pillows.
In that second they were nothing more than two teenagers who had fallen hopelessly, maybe foolishly, in love. They kissed and pulled away and kissed again, constantly reconnecting like two magnets. Josh rolled on top, his body hovering over hers, and kissed along her exposed throat and collarbone like he'd wanted to do for so long. His hands ran the length of her torso and he opened his eyes to see her beautiful face, drowned in the blue light. She looked like an angel and he realized he'd never felt more complete than in that second when he was looking at her and she was looking at him. He felt better for the first time since he'd been in rehab. She was his cure. He leaned down and kissed her lips one more time, slowly and passionately.
"I love you, Kali," he whispered, "I always have."
She simply smiled and opened her mouth to speak; only it wasn't her voice that came out. It was female, but it wasn't Kali.
"Wake up, Josh," she said in that different voice, "wake up."
"What?" he asked, confused. "I am awake...Kali, I'm awake...I love you..."
"Josh? Joshua? C'mon, wake up," The voice spoke again and Josh's vision shattered. Kali disappeared, as did his blue-tinged room. His eyes opened and burned with sleep at the fluorescent lighting that drenched his real room. 
Nurse Lindsey sat beside him on the bed, one hand on his shoulder to shake him with. When she noticed he was awake she removed her hand and smiled at him. 
"What the—" Josh asked in his creaky morning voice. He sat up in the bed and looked around. Kali was nowhere to be found. It'd all been a dream...
"Who's Kali?" Nurse Lindsey chuckled and Josh's head snapped in her direction. He felt the blood drain from his face and he backed away from her on the bed like a scared animal.
"N-no one..." he stuttered.
"Sure, if that's what you want to tell me, Mr. Secretive," She smirked and flattened out a portion of his sheets. "That must've been some dream. You were talking and moving all over the place. I thought you were going to rip apart the pillow at one point!"
"Why the hell were you watching me?" It came out a little more rude than Josh intended, but he couldn't find it in himself to truly care. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was close to tremors.
Nurse Lindsey didn't appear hurt by his harsh words. Instead, she laughed. "I wasn't, I just got here. I came to wake you up."
"Oh," Josh said. The blood was back in his face as he flushed with embarrassment.
The nurse cleared her throat and looked at Josh's body that was partially covered by sheets. His wife beater clung to his slim torso and the rest wasn't visible. She watched as he ran his hands through his hair distractedly. 
"Are you alright?" she asked softly.
"No...yes—I don't know." he sighed.
"Let's do it like this," she said, "are you alright with the drugs and self-harm? No intense cravings? What about the eating disorder? No urges there?"
Josh searched inside himself for a moment before shaking his head no to the cravings. It was the honest answer and that both surprised and pleased him.
"Okay, now, are you alright in general?"
Josh really had to think about that one. Was he alright? He felt alright, and he wanted to be alright, but he couldn't deny that empty hole in his chest. He shook his head no to her question. He could tell her he was fantastic, but he knew it would be a blatant lie with no point to it. He would only like the way it sounded.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Just...this girl," he sighed. He'd be out of there soon enough, who cared what he told them now? "I never got a chance to tell her I love her before I came here."
"I'm sure Kali knows." When Josh looked at Nurse Lindsey curiously, she simply winked. "You better start getting ready now, or you'll be late for your meeting with Dr. Parker." She stood up and flattened out her clothes.
"Huh, I thought we were having a good meeting here." Josh laughed awkwardly and scratched his head.
"Well," Nurse Lindsey blushed and chuckled, "as much as I'd like to stay and look into those pretty blue eyes of yours, Dr. Parker is the therapist here, not me."
"Darn. You could give her a run for her money, you know." he said through a yawn.
Nurse Lindsey just smiled and left him to get dressed. Josh threw off the covers, swung his feet over the edge of the bed and sat there for a moment. He had to take the male pride that his nurse in rehab was totally hot for him. He'd have to let her down easy though, he decided. He has Kali to get back to at the end of all this. That dream of his would become a reality one way or another.