Holding Down the Laughter

The room was just completely Alyssa. There were posters attached to the walls of various artists, ranging from Drake to fun. to Sublime to The Beatles. A package of cigarettes were laying on her bedside table, along with a lighter and what looks like a fake ID. Clothes were strewn across the room, but a case of books sat neatly in the corner.

Pictures of the girl and her friends covered almost every table, along with pictures of the girl and what looks like a smaller version of her. Probably a little sister.

Hell, the room even smelled like her already. A mixture of smoke, woods, and vanilla. It was even stronger here than it was on her.

“It’s so you.” I said, glancing at the girl sitting on one of the beds. She looked beautiful without makeup on but the marks across her neck made her lose some of the innocence she portrays.

Alyssa giggled at my statement, making me smile. “I’ve been working to perfect it for years now, I think I finally hit it.”

I moved to sit next to her on the bed when the door bursts open. Three guys walked in and immediately began scolding the small girl.

“What the hell were you thinking, Alyssa. We all thought you were dead somewhere. Do you not answer your damn phone anymore?” The tall Asian said, probably the Kat she was speaking of earlier.

Next, the shorter brunette spoke up. “You can’t just run off and not tell us where the hell you went. Do you not remember what happened the last time you pulled this shit. Oh right, you got raped because we had no way of getting to you. Do you not even care?”

The boy who hadn’t spoken yet just looked Alyssa straight in the eyes and said in a British accent, “I want my damn sweatshirt back, you whore.”

His statement made the other two look at him and Alyssa just laughed.

“Josh, I would like you to meet my beautiful friends. The Asian is Kat, the short one is Riley, and the British asshole is Sebastian. Guys, meet Josh Hutcherson.”

All three boys glanced back at me and I waved sheepishly to them. They turned back to Alyssa and then back to me once more.

Immediately, they began asking me questions.

“What are your intentions with her?”
“How old are you?”
“Where do you go to school?”
“Are you a rapist?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at how protective these guys are of the small girl. I answered, “Honestly, I think Lyssa’s amazing and eventually, I wouldn’t mind making her my girlfriend. I’m 19 years old, I’m not in school anymore, and no, I’m not a rapist.”

The boys seemed to accept the answers given and decided to leave the room. As they were exiting, I took a moment to look over at Alyssa. The young girl had a deep blush on her face and it seemed as if she was hiding a smile.

I sat on her bed next to her with my back against the wall. Alyssa turned and looked at me before scooting back and sitting with me. She picked up my hand and began playing with my fingers.

“I meant what I said, you know, about making you my girlfriend. I will make it happen eventually.”

Alyssa just smiled and kept playing with my hand. “I don’t think you should be so sure, Josh. You’re going to wish you’d never met me if you keep hanging out with me. You’re going to find out things you don’t want to know.” She said, so quietly that I had to really listen to hear it.

“Then tell me about yourself. I wanna know everything.” She just shook her head and her beautiful smile turned into a smirk.

“No one knows everything.”

“Then let me be the first. I don’t care how bad it is, I want to know.” I said, looking straight at the girl who was too interested in other things.

“Fine.” Alyssa dropped my hand and just sat next to me. “I was raped about three years ago. Shit got crazy around here one night, so I left. I walked for about 5 miles off of campus and when I started making my way back, I got picked up off the road. The two guys kept me in their little house for a week, just beating the shit out of me and raping me constantly. The police eventually found me, but the damage was already done.”

I was left speechless as Alyssa got off of the bed. She picked up her phone and plugged it into an iHome before choosing a song and moving to sit back next to me.

“That’s awful, Alyssa. I’m so sorry you had to go-“

“Oh, I didn’t finish. That part didn’t really phase me. Nine months later, I gave birth to a baby girl.”

I knew Alyssa was expecting me to react badly, but there was no way I could. It wasn’t like she could control what had happened. I’m just happy she didn’t do something stupid and abort the child or something.

I couldn’t stop the smile from crossing my face, making the girl stare at me like I was a dumbass. My hand somehow found hers and our fingers were entangled together.

“I bet she’s as beautiful as you are, Alyssa.”