Holding Down the Laughter

Josh moved his hands to my waist and pulled my body against his as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I could feel Josh begin to smile before pulling away. He pressed a light kisses against my lips and pulled away completely.

I still had my eyes closed, but opened them immediately when Josh began laughing. He rested his forehead against mine and still had our bodies pressed together, but he was just laughing.

“Josh, we just shared a beautiful moment and you’re laughing? What the hell is wrong with you?”

The older boy just kissed my forehead and started making his way towards his truck, still laughing. I stood still for a few moments before running and hopping on his back. Josh stumbled slightly, but managed to keep his balance.

“I’m sorry, you’re just really cute and I usually don’t kiss girls like that.”

When we got back to UC, Josh walked me back to my room, hand in hand, much like every other time. This time, though, my door was already opened.

I pushed the door open the rest of the way and immediately had two arms wrapped around my knees.

“Mommy!” Tansey said, looking up at me with her big brown eyes. I reached down and picked the small girl up, wrapping her in a tight embrace.

“Hey baby girl. Did Uncle Adam get you up here alright? He didn’t give you too much trouble, did he?”

The two year old just shook her head and kissed my cheek. “He was okay, I guess.” I laughed and kissed her face before turning to Josh.

“Josh, I would like you to meet my beautiful baby, Tansey. Tansey, meet Josh.”

She just stared at him for a minute, her eyes eventually slipping into a glare. I couldn’t help but smile as the small girl stuck her tongue out at Josh. His jaw dropped and a look of utter confusion crossed his face.

Tansey leaned closer and whispered in my ear, “He’s cute.” Her statement made me laugh harder, and Josh’s face remained the same.

“Aw, is Joshy offended my baby doesn’t like him?” Josh just nodded and pouted at me. “Joshua, that look doesn’t work for any of the guys and it certainly doesn’t work for you. I don’t give in.” The older boy rolled his eyes, but Tansey perked up at the statement.

“Mommy! Can we go see Uncle Riley!?” Josh’s face dropped again at the baby’s statement. I nodded and put the girl down on the floor before opening the door to the hallway. As we began walking to Sebastian’s room, Josh was completely silent.

“Are you jealous, Hutcherson? Really?”

Josh just rolled his eyes again and looked down at the floor. “Oh she just loves Riley, doesn’t she?”

“Josh, babe. Please realize that Riley was the first person she ever met besides Adam and me. They bonded, okay? She didn’t warm right up to him, or Sebastian, or Kat either. Give it some time, you just met her.”

“She stuck her tongue out at me, Lyssa.”

I reached for Josh’s hand and laced our fingers together before leaning up and pecking his cheek. “She may not like you very much, but you know I do. She thinks you’re cute, too.”

Josh smiled at that statement and said, “Like mother, like daughter, right?”

--

By the time Josh was leaving later that night, Tansey had warmed up to him. Actually, I think she likes him more than Riley, Sebastian, and Kat put together. She made him come back to our room and do the full routine tuck in. This includes the bed time story, brushing their teeth, singing her to sleep, everything.

As one of Tansey’s rules, only one person could be in the room during the tuck in. I swear, this two year old is more strict and stubborn than anyone. It’s almost as if she’s the mother and I’m the child sometimes. But of course, I had to sit outside the door and wait for Josh to be done.

I couldn’t help but smile as I could hear Josh begin to sing the small girls favorite song, Strawberry Fields Forever by the Beatles. She’s always been in love with that song and I can’t seem to figure it out.

After 45 minutes, he was finally closing the door behind him.

Josh slid down the wall and sat next to me. We sat in silence until the boy next to me decided to speak up.

“She’s exactly like you, you know. She’s strong willed, stubborn, loud, passionate. She’s like your twin, just smaller and she hasn’t really been forced out in the world like you have. Forced to grow up before she had to.”

“Don’t think you know my life just because you know about Tans. A lot happened before her and a lot has happened since her.”

Josh just sighed and slowly slid his head back so it was leaning against the wall. He seemed quite frusturated as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Let me know then, Alyssa. Damn, I want to know you but I can’t do that if there’s absolutely no help from you.”

“I just don’t see why you want to know everything about my personal life so badly. I mean, can’t you just accept that you actually know more than most people and move on? In one week, you’ve forced as much out of me as the guys I’ve known for years have. Just deal, Josh.”

We sat in silence for what felt like forever until Josh just sighed and stood up. He began walking down the hallway and stopped at the end. A frown was etched onto his face as he shook his head and continued walking. As he rounded the corner, I couldn’t help but bury my head into my knees.

There was no possible way I was dragging Josh into all of my problems. I mean, my life has been pretty bad. Why would I ever want to bring someone else into the catastrophe? Call me a bitch for doing it, but I won’t let him get into this.