Follow You Home

I don't feel nearly as chipper as I did yesterday when I wake up. I have a keyed up car in my parking lot, a broken window in my living room and a sinking feeling in my gut. John left early this morning to go to work, leaving me with a kiss on the forehead and a warning to be careful.

After lying in bed for a half hour, I get up and get in the shower. When I'm done, I get dressed in my favorite jeans which cost more than the rest of my jeans combined. I pull on a white layering tank top and then a bright yellow one over it. I spray some sea salt spray in my hair to bring out it's natural waves and do my makeup. When I'm done, I feel slightly better about my outlook. At least I look good today.

I skip breakfast and grab my purse and head out. I take my bitchmobile out of Lawrence and into Methuen county to a new chunk of strip malls. I pull in in front of Joe Gun and park. The sky is gray and promising rain as I cross the parking lot. I let my eyes adjust to the dark room for a minute before looking around. The carpet is dark green indoor/outdoor, the walls are paneled wood. There are guns displayed everywhere. Along the back wall is a glass case full of handguns. Behind the case is a slightly overweight man with glasses on. He's wearing jeans, a gray tee shirt and a gun on his hip. I walk up to where he's standing and he eyes me up. Probably I'm not the usual kind of customer here.

"Hi, my brother sent me in."

"OK. What's the name?"

"Frank Parelli."

"I'll be right back." he says.

He comes back a few minutes later with a big brown bag. He sets the bag down on the counter and pulls out a big black chunk of plastic. He holds it up for my inspection.

"This is a stun gun. Have you ever operated one before?"

"No.”

“It’s very simple. All you do is press the prongs on the end into your assailant and press the button on the top. I wouldn’t hold it for more than five seconds though.”

“Why?”

“Mostly so I don’t get sued.” he says with a smirk.

“Gotcha.”

“I got you a holster if you want to carry it on your hip. Or you could put it in your purse.”

“Purse is good.”

“OK, here you go.” he hands it to me and I drop it in my bag.

“Is there any chance I could zap myself with this thing on accident?” I ask.

“Very slim.” good enough for me.

“Your brother also wanted me to give you some pepper spray. You know how to use this?” he asks.

“Yeah.” he hands it to me and I drop it into my purse as well.

“Here’s the charger for the stun gun. You’ll want to charge it every night.”

“Thanks. What do I owe you?”

“Nothing. Your brother already stopped in this morning."

"OK. Thanks for everything."

"No problem."

I march out of the store feeling much braver with all of my new goodies tucked away in my purse. I get in my bitchmobile and drive to Popeye's and order a box of chicken strips, a box of biscuits and some mac and cheese and park my car under a tree to eat. I think about how my life could have taken such a dramatic turn, and then I remember. It all started with Dom. I pull my phone out and dial his cell phone number. No answer.

"You know, you're kind of a shitty brother. When you get home from wherever the fuck you are, you should take me out to dinner or something. I'm stressing out. You could answer your phone. Where even are you? Call me back when you get this, otherwise I might be dead. OK, that's dramatic. Don't worry about it. Call me back whenever. Love you." I hang up. Jesus, I'm a trainwreck.

I drive back to Lawrence, thinking about whoever could be stalking me. My job requires me to piss a lot of people off everyday, so it could be anyone. I don't know if most of those people would care enough about me to look into who I was, where I live and want to torture me though. Another possability is someone from my past. Out of nowhere my ex fiancee, Lee, pops into my head. Lee was a cop. We dated on and off for a year before finally getting engaged. He was possesive though and had a crazy temper. We would get in knock down, drag out fights almost everynight, because at the time I was a bartender and came home late everynight. He was jealous and convinced that I was sleeping around when I wasn't. Finally I had enough and broke the engagement. Lee went crazy and tried to kill himself. He was put in an institution and lost his badge over the whole thing. I got a few letters from him when he was in the institution, telling me that I was going to pay for what I did to him, but never heard anything else ever again. I heard that he moved from Lawrence into Boston years ago.

I pull my cell phone out of my purse and dial Frank's number. He answers on the third ring with a grunt.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"Are you busy?"

"Maybe...What do you need?" I roll my eyes.

"Just a question. You don't happen to know what ever happened to Lee O'Mara, do you?" he's silent on the other end of the phone.

"Hello?"

"I'm here. Why do you want to know about Lee?"

"I was just thinking about who could be stalking me and he popped into my mind."

"I'll look into it and call you back." he says.

"Thanks." he hangs up.

I think about Lee as I pull into my parking lot, feeling a little creeped out. Lee was a cop, so he's strong and has a lot of resources. He could very easily be doing this. But, I just can't imagine him keying my car or throwing a rock through my window. I feel like he would have made the threats more personal. I get out of my car and stand with my door open for a minute, looking around. Suddenly I hear a strange noise and something hit me, and then everything goes black.

My vision is blurry and my head is pounding when I come to. John's face swims into my vision along with some other guy I don't know. I blink, trying to make them clearer. My head is pounding and my body feels like it was hit by a truck.

"I think she's waking up. Izzy?" John says. I can feel his hand on my cheek. I make a murmering noise.

"Am I dead?" I ask.

"No, but I've had about three heart attacks." he tells me.

"I need to throw up." I say suddenly. I'm propped up on my elbow. The other guy, who I gather is an EMT, quickly grabs a bag and I heave into it for a full minute. When I'm done, I sit with my back against the side of my car, taking deep breaths. John is crouched down next to me and I can tell the color is coming back to his face. He's holding my hand in a death grip though.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Tranquilizer dart." he says.

"Excuse me?"

"It was a big one, probably for a horse." Great, I was taken down with a horse dart.

"I was just pulling into the lot when you went down. I thought you got shot." I look up as my brother, Frank, walks up. He crouches down next to me.

"You OK?"

"I think so."

"There are guys combing the area, looking for whoever did this." I nod, but don't say anything.

"Do you think you can stand up?" John asks. I nod again and both him and Frank get an arm around me and help me to my feet. Frank then deposits me over to John. My feet are wobbly under me, but I manage to walk all the way up to my apartment. John fishes my keys out of my purse and unlocks the door, dragging me inside. He drops me on the couch and then gets me a glass of water. I gulp it down by the time he brings me an Advil, so he gets another glass and I take it. He sits down across from me on the coffee table and watches me.

"You really freaked me out, Iz." he says.

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault. I should have gotten here sooner."

"John, stop."

"I'm gonna start protecting you better from now on." he says. I just look at him, unable to fight about it. Someone knocks on my door and John gets up and answers it. He comes back in a moment later with Frank. Frank is holding a folder in his hand. He sits down across from me.

"Are you feeling up to this right now?" he asks. I already know what's in the folder, so I nod.

"Yes."

"Lee O' Mara moved to the Boston area in 08, he got a job at a security firm and has worked there for four years. He's had a few girlfriends, nothing serious. Got a speeding ticket last year. Interesting thing is, two months ago, an ex girlfriend of his got a restraining order against her, said that he's been threatening her."

"So why aren't you guys picking him up?" John asks.

"We don't have reasonable evidence to pick him up on. And I don't want to put Izzy on his radar again if he's not the guy." he looks at me.

"I phoned a guy I know in Boston, he said he'll keep an eye on O'Mara and see if he's been making any roadtrips to Lawrence lately."

"Thanks."

"No problem." he gets up and gives me a kiss on the forehead and then leaves. John takes his place and takes my hand.

"Are you OK?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. This whole Lee thing kind of brought up some old feelings I thought I buried a long time ago, but it's alright."

"You didn't make him go crazy. He was always a loose cannon."

"I know. But it's still hard. He lost his whole life because of me."

"No. He had problems, it would have happened eventually." I heave a sigh. He moves over to the couch and pulls me into him.

"I don't think it's Lee, anyways, but I wanted to check." I say.

"Whoever it is, they know what their doing." he says. He stands up and walks over to the window.

"The lot is swarming with cops. I have to go for a little bit, but I'll be back tonight, OK?"

"OK. I'll be fine. I'm going to take a nap." I stand up, feeling much steadier. He kisses me a few times and then lets himself out. I lock up behind him and then go into my bathroom. I almost scream when I see myself. My hair looks like I took a thousand volts and my hands and arms are covered in road rash. I strip out of my clothes and take a shower. When I'm done, I put on a tank top and sweat pants and crawl into bed and fall asleep instantly.