Until The End

I walk through the halls of our small town school with my head down. I can't bare to see the looks and the whispers as I walk by. I hate the pity everyone seems to have for the unpopular pregnant girl.

"So, it looks like you've won." I know it's Quinn before I even look up.

"Quinn,-" I stare at her. She's wearing her Cheerios uniform, her hair in a high pony tail.

"Ya know Rachel, out of everything I've ever thought of you, I never once thought you were stupid." She says.

"What?" I ask her.

"You heard me. Rachel, this is high school. It's all about the boy you date and the people you hangout with. The choices you make here are ridiculously important." I'm not sure where this is going.

"High school is gonna end Quinn." I remind her.

"Exactly Rachel. That's what I'm telling you. No matter how this pains me to say, and believe me it does, you're so talented. You have more talent then this whole town put together and you just threw it all away over a boy who's going no where in life. Face it Rachel, Finn has high school hero, life zero, written all over him. I mean, he's dumb, and can't make up his mind about anything. Look at us. I know how my life is going to play out. I'll graduate from this school, go to our little college, marry Finn who will become the football coach here, and I'll have a great real estate business. But I'll never leave this stupid place. I've never had a chance at going anywhere else, but you, you did. And now, we'll both be stuck here, hating each other for the rest of our lives." I've never seen Quinn so worked up over anything.

"I have faith that Finn will do the right thing and support us Quinn."

"Well, you shouldn't! God, you're so frustrating! Do you honestly think Finn, Finn Hudson is going to do anything for a baby? He's 17 Rachel, he can't even take are of himself. And what did he do when you told him? Did he hug and kiss you? Tell you he was happy about the baby?" I look away from her remembering how Finn reacted.

"I didn't think so. You should just let him go. Give that baby what it deserves, a happy, loving home. Put it up for adoption and then go to Broadway and live your dream. Travel the world and fall in love. Do everything you've ever dreamed of Rachel." A tear rolls down Quinn's face.

"Quinn, I appreciate your words, I really do. But I don't want any of that if I can't have Finn by my side when I accomplish my dreams. And this baby will be loved no matter who is involved in it's life because I'll be there. But Quinn, you're smart enough to leave this town behind you too. If you would just try and believe in yourself, you could do great things. You just choose to follow the stereotype people have created for you. I love Finn, with all of my heart, so I won't stop trying with him until the day he actual chooses someone." I tell her the truth.

"Fine, be stupid. I don't care anymore." She tells me then walks away.

I let out a sigh of relief. Everything Quinn has just said sinks in and it's all I think about all day. She's right, my dreams of Broadway are done. Leaving this town is just an old memory now. And I can't even fathom the idea that I'll be stuck living here while Finn is married to someone else. I wouldn't be able to handled that.

"So, it won't end like that." I tell myself quietly.

"I won't let it." I decide. I'll give Finn his space. I won't beg him to be with me or ask him for money for the baby. I'll go on with my life like nothing has changed. He'll come to me. He always has. All I have to do is not smother him. I'm smiling as I walk into the choir room.

"Why are you so happy Preggers?" Santana asks me.

"I'm always happy Satan." I take my seat.

"That's mean Rachel." Brittany tells me. I roll my eyes and wait for class to start.

"I have a song today." I smile and stand up.

"Alright Rachel!" Mr. Schue gives me the floor.

I've been bruised and I've been broken
Can't believe that I put up with all this pain
I've been used and I was choking on the promise
I would never fall again

I used to sing to your twisted symphony
The words that had me trapped inside your misery
But now I know the reason why I couldn't breathe

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
'Cause all I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

Your darkness was my weakness
But it turns out that it only went so deep, deep
A meaningless diversion
That is all that you ever meant to me, me, me, me

And I am done with your twisted symphony
The words that had me sound like stolen poetry
I tore the pages and I can finally breathe

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
'Cause all I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again

I want a gentleman who treats me like a queen
I need respect, I need love, nothing in between
I will not spell it out for you if you can't see
'Cause you're not worthy, you don't deserve me and now I'm gone

Everything you're not, not, not
Everything you're not, not, not
One, two, three

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
All I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

I finish my song and everyone claps except for Finn. He just stares at me. I smile at everyone then take my seat.

"Mr. Schue, I also have a song." Quinn voices. She stands and waits for her music. I know the song and I know she's singing it for me, which breaks my heart.

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, 'cause I know you

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
'Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Oh, 'cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

You're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

Goodbye, baby
With a smile, baby, baby

Quinn finishes and I clap for her. I'm not sure what her game is but she's being civil.

"Nice song Quinn." Finn puts the emphasis on her name and I sigh to myself.

"Thanks." Her reply is cool.

The next month I stick to my plan. I go to classes, ignore Finn unless we have to sing together, but I don't look at him when we preform, and then I go home and sleep. I'm always so tired now. I have noticed that Finn and Quinn seem to be fighting a little more than usual though. I'm almost five months pregnant and I'm starting to show. I have a little roundness to my belly and it's very obvious that I'm pregnant. I wear the cute little shirts that show off the bump to, I'm not ashamed of my baby. I love it, it makes me happy. It moves around sometimes and when that happens I just smile. In the month that I haven't been obsessing over Finn, I've actually smiled more in my whole life. I sit in class and day dream. That maybe I could be okay without Finn. That maybe all I need is this baby to be happy. Even though I love Finn with everything that I am, he's never done anything but break my heart over and over again.

"Rachel?" Finn's voice breaks into my day dream. I look up at him.

"Yeah?" It's the first time we've actually talked since I told him about our baby.

"I miss you." He says.

"Where's Quinn?" I ask, looking around the room.

"She broke up with me. But this doesn't have anything to do with her. I miss you. I want you back." Those are the words I've been waiting to hear but now that he's said them I don't know why I needed to hear them in the first place.

"She broke you with you? Why?" I ask him.

"She said I'm a man child, who doesn't know what love is even if it smacked me in the face. That I'm immature and self-centered."

"She's right." Is all I say.

"Rachel, I'm letting you be my girlfriend again. My only girlfriend. Isn't that what you've always wanted?" He asks.

"You're letting me be your girlfriend again?" I ask getting mad.

"Yeah." He nods his head.

"Finn, I'm actually getting over you. I'm healing. And I want to be with you but I need this time right now. I was so in love with you I let you sleep with another girl. Do you know how ridiculous that is? That I wanted you to be so happy I was okay with being miserable. And I'm not going to let that happen again, so thank you for allowing me to be your girlfriend again but not right now." I get up and kiss his cheek then go to Glee.

I'm the first to arrive and take my seat. Everyone files in. Finn is late, even more so then Puckerman, which is hard to do. Finn looks mad. His body language is tense and dark.

"I have a song." Is all he says then whispers to Brad.

The music starts and I'm shocked to hear this beat. I look at the other students but I don't think they know the song. Fin starts.

Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Yeah
Too late
I can't keep chasing em
I'm taking my life back
Caught in a chase
25 to life

I don't think she understands the sacrifices that I made
Maybe if this bitch had acted right I would've stayed
But I've already wasted over half of my life
I would've laid down and died for you I no longer cry for you
No more pain bitch
You took me for granted took my heart and ran it straight into the planet
Into the dirt I can no longer stand it
Now my respect I demand it
Imma take control of this relationship
Command it, and imma be the boss of you now goddamnit
And what I mean is that I will no longer let you control me
So you better hear me out this much you owe me
I gave up my life for you, totally devoted to you while I've stayed
Faithful all the way this is how I fucking get repaid
Look at how I dress fucking baggy sweats, go to school a mess
Always in a rush to get back to you I ain't heard you yet
Not even once say you appreciate me I deserve respect
I've done my best to give you nothing less than perfectness
And I know that if I end this I'll no longer have nothing left
But you keep treating me like a staircase it's time to fucking step
And I wont be coming back so don't hold your fucking breath
You know what you've done no need to go in depth
I told you, you'd be sorry if I fucking left
I'd laugh while you wept

How's it feel now, yeah, funny ain't it, you neglected me
Did me a favor although my spirit free you've set
But a special place for you in my heart I have kept
It's unfortunate but it's,

Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life

Finn raps the entire verse to Quinn, without even blinking. Everyone is too shocked to even speak up. Even Mr. Schue is frozen. Finn breaks their eye contact and locks onto me.

I feel like when I bend over backwards for you
All you do is laugh
Cause that ain't good enough
You expect me to fold myself in half
Til I snap
Don't think I'm loyal
All I do is cheat
How can I moonlight on the side
I have no life outside of that
Don't I give you enough of my time
You don't think so do you
Jealous when I spend time with the girl
Why I'm married to you still man I don't know
But tonight I'm serving you with papers
I'm divorcing you
Go marry someone else and make em famous
And take away their freedom like you did to me
Treat em like you don't need them and they ain't worthy of you
Feed em the same shit you made me eat
I'm moving on forget you oh,
Now I'm special? Oh, I didn't feel special when I was with you
All I ever felt was this
Helplessness
Imprisoned by a selfish bitch
Chew me up and spit me out
I fell for this so many times
It's ridiculous
And still I stick with this
I'm sick of this but in my sickness and addiction
You're as addictive as they get
Evil as they come vindictive as they make em
My friends keep asking why I can't just walk away from
I'm addicted
To the pain, the stress, the drama
I'm drawn in so I guess imma mess
Cursed and blessed
But this time I
Ain't changing my mind
I'm climbing out this abyss
You screaming as I walk out that I'll be missed
But when you spoke to people who meant the most to you
You left me off your list

Finn took a breath then looked between Quinn and I as he finished up his song.

Fuck you both
I'm leaving y'all, my life sentence is served bitch
And it's just

Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late
Caught in a chase
25 to life

Finn finishes and then sits down. No one claps and no speaks, until Quinn explodes.

"Fuck you Finn! You piece of shit! You walk around this school like you're God's gift to the earth, telling me you love me then going to Rachel's and feeding her the same bullshit. You got another girl pregnant and you're gonna rap about how we treat you like garbage? I don't think so! That's a bunch of shit and you know it. Maybe if you grew up and took on some responsibility you'd grow a pair! I mean, you have a baby on the way! A BABY Finn and it's gonna need a father not some scared little boy. So take your dumb ass rap and shove it up your ass!" Quinn yelled then stormed out of the choir room. I couldn't close my mouth. My jaw just hung open as Quinn's back disappeared down the hall.

"Finn, I'm sorry but your rap was inappropriate and filled with curses, so please go down to the principal's office." Mr. Schue said. Finn got up and left too. I just sat there, stunned.