Should I Go on With This Arranged Marriage?

“Sweetie, we decided this is going to be the concept for your wedding gown.” Mom reached me a picture of a wide corseted, satin gown. It’s simple yet elegant. There’s a diagonal piece of beaded work, across the chest.

“I think it’s nice.” I smiled.

My mom frowned. “Nice? I really think this is beautiful.”

“Yeah.” I trailed. I really don’t feel comfortable talking about this whole marriage.

“You know what, Nick?” Amanda suddenly talked. “I know you’re still not good with everything. We’ll do this by ourselves.” She smiled. “Since it’s an arranged marriage, I don’t expect you nor Brian to cooperate with this one.”

I sighed before talking. “Thank you for understanding.” I walked away from them on the backyard. I entered the and almost jumped to see Peach running my way.

“Oh my god!” I said picking him up. “I miss you so much. I’m sorry, I totally forgot about you.” I saw Tess walking next to him, holding a bowl of dog food.

I made my way up to my room with Peach on my hand. I lazily lay down on my bed and peach snuggled on me.

Why am I feeling so weird since that conversation with them? They talk like they know Brian so well. They talk like their boyfriends are like the same. There’s no denying that they all are bestfriends. Sure they know how each and every one of them thinks. They may even know their everyday routine, how they sleep, what time they usually woke up, and probably even when they want to have sex. A loud sigh came from me. Why am I even thinking about how they thought of me loving Brian? Well, I’m not totally closing the door of having a real relationship with me, but what I was saying is that, I won’t fall first to him. I’m okay with just a little respect from him. And I’ll do the same. I’m fine that I have someone until I got old and gray, we’re marrying each other, right? Maybe, not!

But really, what if? Val is right. All of them are right. What if I fall in love for him, while he doesn’t feel the same for me? What if he’s just going to marry because he’s just following his parents, will? Of course he do. We both do.

What if, that’s it? What if it stops there after the marriage? Can we both let each other go see each other? Of course, we may. But what’s next? Tell the guy, that I’m married and but our parents just want us? What if another Tom comes along and asks me to marry him? What? Me and Brian will go to have a divorce? Then, what’s the sense of even marrying? And for sure our parents won’t even let us. What are we? Fucking buddies?

What will I be if everything of this ever happens? Is it okay for me? I don’t know. It’s so hard to move on.

What are we going to be?

where would I end up? Lose the entire lady hood for him? I won’t let that. Will I?

“Ahhh…” I almost shouted. I don’t want to think anymore. I want to keep myself busy. Should I enter college this year? I guess that will help to keep me busy. Right! I will take exams.

---

“Diner’s ready.” Tess from my closed door softly shouted.

“coming.” I replied.

I pulled the towel off of my damp hair. I softly brush my hair, and then made my way out immediately.

My nerves totally need some food.

“Hi.” I smiled to Marco and Amanda before taking my sit, they both smiled to me. “Where’s Brian?” I asked as he’s still not on his chair.

“Miss me quick, huh?!” Brian’s voice from my back asked. I just rolled my eyes on him.

“wow.” I said as I look at the three different dishes infront of me.

“Eat as much as you want.” Marco said as he hand me the platter of white creamy pasta.

I smiled. “thanks.” I know I wasn’t eating right before even finishing the school. The finals just drain me off.

“You look thinner.” Amanda said swirling the pasta as well on her fork.

I nodded on her. “I wasn’t eating properly, for the last three weeks. You know school stuffs.”

“Speaking of school, aren’t you going to college yet?” Brian asked this time.

I turned to look at him. “Honestly, I thought of not, but I feel like…” I think for a good reason. Val told me they just finished a new album. I’m feeling they’ll have another tour. “You are going to be on another tour this year. I don’t want to bore myself, so I guess; school will be a nice option to get busy.”

“And where did you get that idea?” he asked again.

“Well, don’t you like that?” I said sounding annoyed.

“And why don’t you come with the tour then, Nick?” Marco asked.

“I don’t want her there.”

I quickly shot Brian a stare. “Oh, don’t ask me Brian. I’ll be such a pain in your ass.” I hissed, whispering on him. He just smirked at me.

“Will you two ever get along?” Amanda took my stare from Brian.

“I told you, Mom. We two do get along very well.” He smiled on her. “Don’t we, Dominique?” he looked at me again.

I frowned but smiling on him. “We do. So much.” I smiled back to Amanda.

---

“Why do you always start on me?” I asked Brian as I entered his room.

“Do I?” he replied, lying down on his bed.

“Don’t think you didn’t.” I rolled my eyes on him.

“I didn’t.” he answered. I sighed heavily, trying not to get angry. First one to get angry is always a loser. “You came here just to say that? Trying to make a conversation, to get in my room? Want to do something tonight?”

“You…” I bit my bottom lip, trying not to get mad.

“What?” he said then smirked.

“You should definitely stop thinking, I want more of what happened.”

He softly chuckled. “Tell me you don’t.” he pulled me into his bed and heavily breath all over the skin of my shoulder.

I pushed him, before it gets any further. “I don’t” I shouted on him.

“You sound convincing.” He said pulling me harder to his bed, until I’m lying down and he’s on top of me. “You know, you’re not good at lying.”

I rolled my eyes more on me. “I know, I was never a good liar. I don’t even know how I got Tom to believe my lies.”

“If you love the person so much, you won’t even think, she’s lying to you. You’ll believe every single fucking words coming out from his mouth. Poor, Tom.”

I spanked him at his shoulder. “Don’t say that. I’m really guilty, you know?”

“I know. You can hardly stop crying on Me.” he said, lying down next to me then

I didn’t say something after that, so he does. We both stared at his ceiling.

“Hey, I really want to talk about something.” I started.

“hmmm? What is it?”

I looked at him. “Promise me, you won’t get awkward with it. Cause I’m seriously not comfortable talking about it.”

“Just shoot it.”

I sighed composing myself, before speaking. “Brian.” I don’t expect to stop at that. “Please, don’t be good at me.”

This time he turned to look on me too. He looks confused.

His eyes are so beautiful. He looks so curious about what I said. I finally sat up, to avoid his eyes. Plus, I don’t like to his face, really. “You can’t be nice on me.”

I felt a movement on the bed. He turned around and moved a little back so he can see me. “So, you like the way I’m messing up with you?”

I nodded unwillingly. Of course, I don’t like it. “I guess its better.”

“I’m not getting you.” Brian frowned.

I bit my bottom lip. “I don’t want to see you being nice on me. I… Urghhhh.” I quickly stomped my feet on his floor and quickly made my way out.

I made sure that I locked my door before going to bed. I don’t want him to be nice on me. I might just fall in love.