The Girl Who Changed Everything

I woke with a start. My breathing was fast, my heart racing. Dizziness started to overtake my senses, and I called, “Seth!” in a hoarse voice.

I felt claustrophobic in my bunk. The bottom bunk at night is usually cozy, but I was terrified right now. I rolled out as I heard nothing. “Zeke!” I called once again. Still no answer. My breathing picked up once again, and my chest started to hurt. ANOTHER panic attack! Great! I hope you noticed the sarcasm…

“Jeremy! Max! Cole!” I yelled out quickly. Then the ‘panic’ started to set in. I dropped to the floor. Sitting with my arms around my legs, going into hysterics, was not my idea of a good night. Flashbacks of THAT night kept flying through my mind. I shook my head back and forth, mumbling “no, no, no” over and over. I admit, I probably looked psycho, but I honestly don’t care!

THAT horrible night. It kept playing through my head over and over. The laughter, getting into the car, sitting front seat, seeing the happy looks on three faces as they danced in the back seats, looking at the driver, Toby. Then the blinding light, the screams of Scarlette, Jenna, and Shane. Shane had taken the girls and put their faces in his shoulders while holding them. They clung to him for dear life. I looked to Toby, and he looked to my 12 year old self. 17 and he was so mature. He grabbed my right hand and kissed the top. The semi was less than 20 feet away; an icy street, rain, and a back road. I glanced at Shane, as he held his siblings, he looked to me. A tear made its way down his face. I reached back and put my left hand on his face. I looked to the semi, and it hit.

I lost them all that night. I never told anyone what happened, they didn’t NEED to know. But as I sat, sobbing, I couldn’t help but say feebly “Lexi.”

The door opened and Max stepped on. “Baby,” he whispered and ran to me. I twisted my hands into his shirt and sobbed myself dry. He just held me, and rocked back and forth. I fell asleep in his warm embrace.

I woke up, but made no indication. I could hear voices. “Dude, what the hell happened to my sister?” Alex seethed. I was still in a person’s arms, but not Max’s.

“I don’t know! I came on the bus and she was, like, freaking out. When she fell asleep, she started to talk,” fuck. My. Life. “she said she was sorry? And something about a Toby, Shay, Srrr, and Jen.” I slur in my sleep? Damn.

“Actually their names are Toby, Shane, Scarlette, and Jenna.” I informed him, not realizing my curios audience. I opened my brown eyes, and my glasses were handed to me. I saw all of ATL, ILCK, and…Mikey Way?

“Who?” asked Alex skeptically. I tore my gaze from Mikey and looked to my older brother.

“Old friends.” I said simply. I then looked up and noticed Matt (Flyzik) was holding me. “Hey Matty.” I said cutely. His expression went from all concern, to concern and happiness. I was the only one allowed to call him that. I’m special!

“what do you mean old friends? How can you have old friends at 14?” asked Jack. I was about to respond when Max did.

“If she said old friends, then their old friends.” I was so lucky to have a friend like him. I looked to Max and smiled appreciatively, he gave me a small smile back.

“do you not quest-“ Rian started to inquire, but Mikey cut him off.

“Can I talk to you?” Mikey blurted out. I looked at him semi-startled.

“uh…yeah.” I responded confused. He got up and offered me a hand. I placed my smaller hand in his calloused one. He pulled me up, and led me outside. We walked until we were out of sight. We could no longer see the venue, the bus, or a road. The woods consumed us and I breathed in the fresh air. “What was it you needed to talk about?” I asked looking at him innocently. He stared intently at my face and blinked.

“I knew Toby,” He said softly. “or at least I think I did,” he added unsure. I was shocked.
Gulping, I squared my shoulders.

“He died in a car accident two years ago,” I informed him. Tears came to his hazel eyes. I knew then. “How?” I asked brokenly.

“He was our cousin, Gerard and mine’s,” he said as he hastily wiped tears from behind his glasses.

“He was my…savoir,” I choked out. He looked at me with curiosity.

“How?” it was his turn to ask.

“he was my father, my mother, my brother, my best friend, my…life,” I told him hurt. I couldn’t get that day out of my mind.

“We need to speak with Gee,” he informed me. Once again he grabbed my hand and led me out of the woods. Still holding my hand, we walked to his bus. We got a lot of weird looks. Ronnie Radke did a double take, and raised and eyebrow, then went back to humming a Hannah Montana song. Weird…

We were in front of his bus in no time. He, still holding my hand, opened the door and stepped inside. I walked on, and stood half behind him as the rest of the band came into view in the front part of the bus. I was nervous to say the least. I was nervous because: I had to talk about Toby, they’re some of my idols, and I’m a fan (so I’m completely freaking out on the inside).

The band stared at us curiously. It was Frank who spoke first.

“Um Mikey…would you like to explain why you’re holding Izzy Jay’s hand?” ‘He knows my name! EEEEPPPP! NO! keep it under control.’ Was my thought process. I managed to do that…almost. I was sort of gawking at them.

“She is the Izzy Toby talked about constantly,” he announced. Gerard immediately snapped his head towards me. I gripped Mikey’s hand tighter and moved a inch or so more behind him.

Mikey turned his head and looked down at me. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered. I nodded shakily.
We both turned back when Ray said something.

“Why is this coming up now?” all the guys knew Toby, he was like their brother too.

“The crash happened two years ago today, he died three days from then,” I spoke rather quietly. Frank was next to speak.

“Will-will you tell us how you met, what he was like with you?” I gave him a confused look. “he always talked about you, but from what he said, we figured he was different with you,” he explained.

Mikey pulled me to the table where they sat. We took seats, and he still had my hand. (I always find this confusing to read) it was Mikey, Me, Gerard, Ray, and then Frank. The table was a circle, so it was easy to talk to them all.

“Toby was…amazing. He took the roles of my parents, brother, and best friend. He was my whole life. Even as the semi came at us, he was trying to make me feel like it was okay. He used to scare any boy who might have the slightest liking for me away. He was over-protective, sweet, kind, smart, funny, and just downright good.” I told them, staring at the table top as tears formed in my brown eyes.

“how did you meet?” asked Ray skeptically. I smiled and looked up at him, blinking away the tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and took a breath.

“I went to one of your concerts, and I was standing in the back dancing,” I gave a small laugh remembering. “out of nowhere this lanky brown haired kid comes up to me and starts dancing. At the end of the concert we parted ways, we never even spoke to each other. I was standing outside by the street, hoping for a random cab to come by. Instead a dark, normal car, that would blend in came by and stopped. At first I thought ‘Oh how great! Go to a concert, get murdered, how fun!’” the guys laughed a little at this. “The window rolled down and I walked over to it-“

“you thought you were going to get murdered and you went to the car?” asked Gerard incredulously. It was the first time he spoke, and he seemed to be scandalized at what I did. I grined at him a little and nodded.

“pretty much!” this got a smile out of them all. “anyways, I saw the lanky dancing dude, and he offered me a ride. I jumped in his car-“

“you didn’t know him and you got in his car?” Gerard interrupted again. I nodded with a smile, causing him to shake his head.

“Anyways, I got in and gave him directions to my house. We found out we lived super close. Like I was on a street, and when you walked through my back yard and hoped a fence, you were in his yard. So I just chilled at his place and we became best friends.” I summed up.

“I’m glad you did and all, but do NOT I repeat DO NOT get into a strangers car and go to their house. Okay?” Gerard told me seriously. I smiled softly.

“you remind me of him so much…” I said, tears formed in his hazel eyes and he looked away. I grabbed him and hugged him. He was stiff (hehe) at first but loosened up and hugged me back. I felt tears soak my shirt (like shoulder area) and I kissed the top of his head. Mikey came over and hugged us, followed by Ray and Frank. It was a five person group hug, and to be honest, it was amusing. Gerard started to giggle, yes giggle, it was adorable. Soon we were all laughing.

It was strange how those friend ships began. Soon, I was chilling with them like we were good friends. It was fun, but even though I don’t usually pick favorites, Mikey was mine. He was quiet, intuitive, driven, respectable, one of the only people who could read me like a book, he didn’t trust well-which gave us another thing in common, loyal, spontaneous, and protective.
(making this all happen in one day)

Goodness was he protective. We were walking around a venue in Texas, and some guy-literately a guy, he looked to be a little older than Mikey- slapped my ass.

(supposed to be italicised)
We had been walking around for hours. Talking about everything and anything. He was so easy to talk to, and I knew he wouldn’t tell. We were talking about school, about the lack of belief people have in me, and he told me “Whatever idea you have, no matter how crazy, just go for it.” I had stopped dead. He turned from two feet in front of me, and turned with a slightly confused face. I opened my mouth but no words came out, I just stepped forward and hugged him. He was taken aback to say the least but hugged back. After that, we walked, just mumbling around really. Then, it happened. Some creepy dude, slaps my ass while walking by. I jumped towards Mikey, squeaked, and grabbed Mikey’s arm tightly. He looked down at me worried. The guy turned around and gave me a skin crawling smirk. The guy was actually hot, I just don’t like older guys doing that-or guys in general doing that. It’s just…weird. “what he do?” Mikey mumbled to me as the guy turned. “he-he slap-“ I didn’t get anything else out. He took his arm out of my grasp, flung the guy around, and punched him. My hands flew to my mouth in shock. “if you ever go near her again, I’ll fucking-“

“mikey?” I stopped his harsh growling with my voice. I didn’t mean for it to come out so scared. He looked at me, and back to the guy. “j-just take me back? Please?” he looked back at me and nodded. He grabbed my hand, and led me back.
(italics done)

Lying in his bunk, we were curled together. tears leaked slowly from my eyes as I told him of my music teacher. How he made me date him, how Max saved me from what he wanted. How he almost got it. Mikey just laid there, looking at me, never interrupting. When I had finished telling my tale, ending with “that’s why I’m afraid of guys…” he bit his bottom lip. His left arm moved overand wraped around my waist, bringing me closer. I swallowed hard, tensing. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, I was just scared. He, cautiously, leaned his forehead against mine, his blonde hair tickling my face.

“I wont ever hurt you.”