Got Me on My Toes
Chapter Four
7:30 the next morning, train station
“One ticket to Doncaster please.” Louis said to the cashier at London’s Kings Cross station. He didn’t know what else to do. The love of his love (or so he thought) had just walked out on him. His heart felt like someone had ripped it out of his chest and squeezed it until it was nothing.
Before continuing to walk thru the station he pulled up his hood and put his sunglasses on, hoping no one would recognize him. He quickly walked towards where his train would be waiting, trying to avoid making any eye contact. When he walked onto the train he took the seat closest to the window at the back of the corridor. The ride to Doncaster was only 2 hours. Considering everything that had happened the night before, he hadn’t gotten much sleep so he decided to take a nap.
As Louis pulled back from what was the most amazing kiss of his life, he looked into Harry’s brilliant forest green eyes. He could tell Harry was just as surprised as him when it happened, but it was going to happen, they both knew it was, after what happened moments ago.
They were at Louis’ flat hanging out, like usually, just watching TV. Harry was laying his head on Lou’s lap, which was normal, they were watching Celebrity Juice, that show always got a good laugh out of them. When Holly’s team went up for ‘Shout It Out’ Harry had sat up because they both knew something hilarious was going to happen. As Keith read the gossip from the stall they both got wide eyed and the laughter started. “Louis and Harry, also known as Larry Stylinson has again been accused of being together.” They couldn’t even hear what Holly and her team had said, their laughs combined had echoed thru the flat. “Well, well, well, I guess were an item.” Harry had managed to get out between laughs. “I guess so Mrs.Styles.” Louis said as Harry pinned him to the couch, “WHAT! I don’t think so you’re the women in this relationship.” Harry said looking into Louis’ eyes. They were so close they could feel the heat from each other’s breath, and Louis could feel the ends of Harry’s curls touching his forehead. Was Harry leaning in.. leaning in?! FOR A KISS?!? Their lips met and Lou-
Louis awoke panting. Whoa. Did he just have a sex dream about Harry? They had kissed before, but in his dream it was so different. It felt different. Almost like he wanted more, like he didn’t want to wake up. No. He wanted it to be real.
“Next stop Doncaster.” He heard a female voice say over the intercom.
Louis grabbed out his mobile and dialed his Mum. “Hello Darling.” She answered. “Hey Mum..” Louis replied “Honey, is everything alright? You sound a little upset.” Louis swallowed hard, he started to remember one of the reasons he was on this train in the first place. “Mum, could you meet me at the train station I should be there in about 10 minutes.” There was no source of hesitation in his mum’s voice. “Of course! I’ll see you then.”
8:30 pm
Louis didn’t know how he was going to tell his mum about any of this. About him and Eleanor, about his feelings he thinks he may have for his bestfriend.
Louis was sitting on the swing they had on the back porch. It was a little windy out, and there was a cold snip in the air. After all it was the middle of October and let’s face it England wasn’t known as one of the warmest places in the world.
Before he could even get up to go inside to grab a blanket his mum was coming out with 2 cups of tea and 2 blankets. She sat down next to her son, smiling while handing him a cup and putting a blanket over his shoulders, then covering herself. “Louis.” She said in a calm voice. There was no worry in her voice, but there was in her eyes, Louis could see it, and that was it for him. The tears started and he buried his head into his mums shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him, rocking back and forth saying “Louis everything will be okay, whatever your going threw I’m here for you, and I’ll love you no matter what.”
Louis had finally calmed down and took a few sips of tea before looking at his mum. “Honey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen you this upset in a long, long time.” She said again in a very calming voice. That’s one of the many things he loved about his mum, no matter how bad someone was emotionally she always kept calm and would listen to them and try to help as best she could. “Me and Eleanor broke up…” he managed to get out in a very quiet voice. “Ohh, Lou. What happened? I know you said things had been rough between you two the past couple of months but I didn’t know it was that serious.” His mum said sympathetically rubbing his back trying to keep him from crying again. “Well it’s a long story..” Louis said looking up at his mum with puffy eyes. “Good thing we have all night then.” She said with a smile, which Louis returned.
So he told her. He told her about his and El’s fight. He told her how he had felt somewhat distant from her the last few months. He told her everything. Well almost everything. He left out the part about him and Harry kissing and how he thought he might have feelings for him. He knew what was coming after he had finished. As much as he tried not to look like there was more, his mum could always tell. It was like she had some sort of super power or something.
“Louis, I can tell your really hurt about this. But why do I think there’s something more. Something you’re not telling me.” His mum said looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Yup. That was it, that’s what he knew was coming. He was silent, he wanted to tell her. He really wanted to. He really needed to.
“Well….” he started to say, but took a long pause trying to figure out how to put it into words. His mum didn’t rush him. Another thing he admired about her. She was so patient. “..remember how I told you El thought there was someone else?” he said looking at his mum while she nodded. “.. there kind of is..” he continued. His mum didn’t react she just let him continue. “At Liam’s party I got really, really drunk, and well I might of kissed someone else..” This time she interrupted her son and said, “Does El know you were drunk? Maybe if you told her she would understand.” Louis looked down into his now empty cup and mumbled, “She knew before I even knew.” Mrs.Tomlinson looked at her son and started to think about what he could be talking about,”Honey what did she know before you ?”
“Mum, I’m not sure if I’m even 100 percent on this yet.” he said choking back tears. ”Honey, whatever it is I can help you figure it out.”
“Mum, you know how close I am to all the boys. You know how much I care about all of them, there practically my brothers. Especially Harry..” he said with a smile coming to his face, “.. I love all the boys but there’s something special between me and Harry. Something I couldn’t figure out before…before Liam’s party.” Lou looked up to see his mum’s face to see if she had realised where he was going with this. If she did, she didn’t show it. “At Liam’s party I was really drunk, and you know how we always have cake fights on any of the boys birthdays. Well this time it was really bad, cake was everywhere. Me and Harry got it the worst. So bad we had to take showers. When we were both done in shower we were in my room. And Mum I know this is going to sound really weird but I swear I think it was the alcohol. Harry was shirtless and I couldn’t stop staring at him, his body was perfect..” he said getting quieter towards the end and leading into a smile. His mum could see the happiness in his eyes while he was talking about his bestfriend. “Go ahead honey, what else happened.” The surprised look he gave his mum was something you would see on a little kids face when they got a toy they always wanted as a gift, she didn’t react one bit to what he had just said. “Well, at first we were both just staring at each other, then I tackled him to the bed as a joke, like we always do. But then I got caught in his eyes. Mum, I don’t think you should know the rest, I don’t want you to think different of me, and it’s kind of embarrassing.” He said blushing.
Mrs.Tomlinson grabbed her sons hand and looked him in the eyes and said, “Louis, I would never think differently of you because of something you tell me. I want to help you because whatever it is, it’s tearing you up inside and I hate to see you or your sisters that way. I promise I won’t judge you. I would never judge any of my kids.” Louis squeezed his mums hand, took a deep breath and said, “We kissed.. for a long time..” Again if his mum had any reaction at all he couldn’t tell.
“I thought it was the alcohol but now every time were together I just can’t stop looking at his eyes, and at his curls, and just everything.. and on the way here, I had a dream where we kissed again. And when I woke up I wanted to go back to sleep to continue the dream. No. I wanted it to be real.” he rushed out before putting his face in his hands. “Mum, I really care about him, and not how I care about the other boys. Mum I-I think l-love him…” Louis didn’t look up at his mum this time. He was too embarrassed. Her only son was gay, or bi. What was he? He didn’t find girls gross, he had had tons of girlfriends and liked being with them, but that night with Harry was just incredible.
“Louis, I know.” his mum finally said. That’s when Louis looked up from his hands. What the hell? Did everyone know that he loved Harry except for him? Oh God did Harry know?!
“What do you mean you know?”
“Just like you said what you and Harry have is different than what you have with the other boys. I could tell from the very beginning. I never thought that you would actually come to realise it, and if you didn’t I think I would have pointed it out to you.” His mum had said so nonchalant. “Mum!!” he shouted. “Shhh. Your sisters are sleeping.” She said getting up from the swing, “Come on lets go inside before you get sick.”
“But Mum?! How did you know? Help me out here! I don’t know what to do? Does Harry feel the same way?!?” He was shouting ignoring his mums Shh’s as they entered the house and headed towards her bedroom.
“Mum!”
“Louis, we’ll finish talking tomorrow. Now go call Harry because I know you want to.” She said giving him a wink before closing the door to her bedroom
“One ticket to Doncaster please.” Louis said to the cashier at London’s Kings Cross station. He didn’t know what else to do. The love of his love (or so he thought) had just walked out on him. His heart felt like someone had ripped it out of his chest and squeezed it until it was nothing.
Before continuing to walk thru the station he pulled up his hood and put his sunglasses on, hoping no one would recognize him. He quickly walked towards where his train would be waiting, trying to avoid making any eye contact. When he walked onto the train he took the seat closest to the window at the back of the corridor. The ride to Doncaster was only 2 hours. Considering everything that had happened the night before, he hadn’t gotten much sleep so he decided to take a nap.
As Louis pulled back from what was the most amazing kiss of his life, he looked into Harry’s brilliant forest green eyes. He could tell Harry was just as surprised as him when it happened, but it was going to happen, they both knew it was, after what happened moments ago.
They were at Louis’ flat hanging out, like usually, just watching TV. Harry was laying his head on Lou’s lap, which was normal, they were watching Celebrity Juice, that show always got a good laugh out of them. When Holly’s team went up for ‘Shout It Out’ Harry had sat up because they both knew something hilarious was going to happen. As Keith read the gossip from the stall they both got wide eyed and the laughter started. “Louis and Harry, also known as Larry Stylinson has again been accused of being together.” They couldn’t even hear what Holly and her team had said, their laughs combined had echoed thru the flat. “Well, well, well, I guess were an item.” Harry had managed to get out between laughs. “I guess so Mrs.Styles.” Louis said as Harry pinned him to the couch, “WHAT! I don’t think so you’re the women in this relationship.” Harry said looking into Louis’ eyes. They were so close they could feel the heat from each other’s breath, and Louis could feel the ends of Harry’s curls touching his forehead. Was Harry leaning in.. leaning in?! FOR A KISS?!? Their lips met and Lou-
Louis awoke panting. Whoa. Did he just have a sex dream about Harry? They had kissed before, but in his dream it was so different. It felt different. Almost like he wanted more, like he didn’t want to wake up. No. He wanted it to be real.
“Next stop Doncaster.” He heard a female voice say over the intercom.
Louis grabbed out his mobile and dialed his Mum. “Hello Darling.” She answered. “Hey Mum..” Louis replied “Honey, is everything alright? You sound a little upset.” Louis swallowed hard, he started to remember one of the reasons he was on this train in the first place. “Mum, could you meet me at the train station I should be there in about 10 minutes.” There was no source of hesitation in his mum’s voice. “Of course! I’ll see you then.”
8:30 pm
Louis didn’t know how he was going to tell his mum about any of this. About him and Eleanor, about his feelings he thinks he may have for his bestfriend.
Louis was sitting on the swing they had on the back porch. It was a little windy out, and there was a cold snip in the air. After all it was the middle of October and let’s face it England wasn’t known as one of the warmest places in the world.
Before he could even get up to go inside to grab a blanket his mum was coming out with 2 cups of tea and 2 blankets. She sat down next to her son, smiling while handing him a cup and putting a blanket over his shoulders, then covering herself. “Louis.” She said in a calm voice. There was no worry in her voice, but there was in her eyes, Louis could see it, and that was it for him. The tears started and he buried his head into his mums shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him, rocking back and forth saying “Louis everything will be okay, whatever your going threw I’m here for you, and I’ll love you no matter what.”
Louis had finally calmed down and took a few sips of tea before looking at his mum. “Honey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen you this upset in a long, long time.” She said again in a very calming voice. That’s one of the many things he loved about his mum, no matter how bad someone was emotionally she always kept calm and would listen to them and try to help as best she could. “Me and Eleanor broke up…” he managed to get out in a very quiet voice. “Ohh, Lou. What happened? I know you said things had been rough between you two the past couple of months but I didn’t know it was that serious.” His mum said sympathetically rubbing his back trying to keep him from crying again. “Well it’s a long story..” Louis said looking up at his mum with puffy eyes. “Good thing we have all night then.” She said with a smile, which Louis returned.
So he told her. He told her about his and El’s fight. He told her how he had felt somewhat distant from her the last few months. He told her everything. Well almost everything. He left out the part about him and Harry kissing and how he thought he might have feelings for him. He knew what was coming after he had finished. As much as he tried not to look like there was more, his mum could always tell. It was like she had some sort of super power or something.
“Louis, I can tell your really hurt about this. But why do I think there’s something more. Something you’re not telling me.” His mum said looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Yup. That was it, that’s what he knew was coming. He was silent, he wanted to tell her. He really wanted to. He really needed to.
“Well….” he started to say, but took a long pause trying to figure out how to put it into words. His mum didn’t rush him. Another thing he admired about her. She was so patient. “..remember how I told you El thought there was someone else?” he said looking at his mum while she nodded. “.. there kind of is..” he continued. His mum didn’t react she just let him continue. “At Liam’s party I got really, really drunk, and well I might of kissed someone else..” This time she interrupted her son and said, “Does El know you were drunk? Maybe if you told her she would understand.” Louis looked down into his now empty cup and mumbled, “She knew before I even knew.” Mrs.Tomlinson looked at her son and started to think about what he could be talking about,”Honey what did she know before you ?”
“Mum, I’m not sure if I’m even 100 percent on this yet.” he said choking back tears. ”Honey, whatever it is I can help you figure it out.”
“Mum, you know how close I am to all the boys. You know how much I care about all of them, there practically my brothers. Especially Harry..” he said with a smile coming to his face, “.. I love all the boys but there’s something special between me and Harry. Something I couldn’t figure out before…before Liam’s party.” Lou looked up to see his mum’s face to see if she had realised where he was going with this. If she did, she didn’t show it. “At Liam’s party I was really drunk, and you know how we always have cake fights on any of the boys birthdays. Well this time it was really bad, cake was everywhere. Me and Harry got it the worst. So bad we had to take showers. When we were both done in shower we were in my room. And Mum I know this is going to sound really weird but I swear I think it was the alcohol. Harry was shirtless and I couldn’t stop staring at him, his body was perfect..” he said getting quieter towards the end and leading into a smile. His mum could see the happiness in his eyes while he was talking about his bestfriend. “Go ahead honey, what else happened.” The surprised look he gave his mum was something you would see on a little kids face when they got a toy they always wanted as a gift, she didn’t react one bit to what he had just said. “Well, at first we were both just staring at each other, then I tackled him to the bed as a joke, like we always do. But then I got caught in his eyes. Mum, I don’t think you should know the rest, I don’t want you to think different of me, and it’s kind of embarrassing.” He said blushing.
Mrs.Tomlinson grabbed her sons hand and looked him in the eyes and said, “Louis, I would never think differently of you because of something you tell me. I want to help you because whatever it is, it’s tearing you up inside and I hate to see you or your sisters that way. I promise I won’t judge you. I would never judge any of my kids.” Louis squeezed his mums hand, took a deep breath and said, “We kissed.. for a long time..” Again if his mum had any reaction at all he couldn’t tell.
“I thought it was the alcohol but now every time were together I just can’t stop looking at his eyes, and at his curls, and just everything.. and on the way here, I had a dream where we kissed again. And when I woke up I wanted to go back to sleep to continue the dream. No. I wanted it to be real.” he rushed out before putting his face in his hands. “Mum, I really care about him, and not how I care about the other boys. Mum I-I think l-love him…” Louis didn’t look up at his mum this time. He was too embarrassed. Her only son was gay, or bi. What was he? He didn’t find girls gross, he had had tons of girlfriends and liked being with them, but that night with Harry was just incredible.
“Louis, I know.” his mum finally said. That’s when Louis looked up from his hands. What the hell? Did everyone know that he loved Harry except for him? Oh God did Harry know?!
“What do you mean you know?”
“Just like you said what you and Harry have is different than what you have with the other boys. I could tell from the very beginning. I never thought that you would actually come to realise it, and if you didn’t I think I would have pointed it out to you.” His mum had said so nonchalant. “Mum!!” he shouted. “Shhh. Your sisters are sleeping.” She said getting up from the swing, “Come on lets go inside before you get sick.”
“But Mum?! How did you know? Help me out here! I don’t know what to do? Does Harry feel the same way?!?” He was shouting ignoring his mums Shh’s as they entered the house and headed towards her bedroom.
“Mum!”
“Louis, we’ll finish talking tomorrow. Now go call Harry because I know you want to.” She said giving him a wink before closing the door to her bedroom