Love for Love

With a giant sigh, I said to the boys, "Come in."

I stood from my seat and swung my arm out to the couches where so many life changing decisions had been made. I eyed Audrey out of the room as I went to take the seat against the wall.

As Ben and Tom moved their way from the door, they revealed Damon behind them. He was sweating and breathing heavily. I clicked my tongue at him, disappointed in his abilities to keep these two men out of the buildings.

Audrey left the room and took Damon with her. I then focussed my attentions on the two men that had given me an insurmountable amount of grief ever since I landed here in London. Tom respectfully took a seat on the couch opposite me while Benedict, however, did not.

Ben came to sit over by my side in attempts to comfort me through the situation that was about to unfold but I glared at him. He obviously did not understand my look so I was forced to say, "Why don't you join you friend over there, hmnm?"

He looked hurt but he obliged by the slight nod of his head. He shifted over to the couch that Tom sat on but made sure that he sat as far away from Tom as possible. This put a small smile upon my lips, seeing how much they had come to dislike each other.

A silence grew out between us as I waited for them to start talking but as time passed, I found out that neither of them would explain their sudden appearance together. I narrowly watched them for a few moments before I decided to speak up.

"You're business here," I said, my voice sounding too loud in the silence. "What is it?"

Benedict looked to Tom, who remained straight faced and silent, before sending his eyes back my way. His deep voice filled the room when he said, "I see that the issues occurring between yourself and Tom has arisen. He asked me to come into your office today with him so we could sort all this out."

"What if I don't want to sort it out?" I replied. "What if I don't want anything to do with either of you again?"

"That would be hard, considering the position you are in and with the BAFTA awards occurring next weekend," Benedict said, prepared to take down any argument I proposed. "So, I suggest we get all this shit out of the way and clear everything up."

"I think it will take more than a simple conversation," I said, feeling my heart starting to race.

"Then what do you propose?" Benedict said, leaning forward on the couch. "Do you want to decide who you would rather be with through kisses? Because I know Tom would win in that department." A flicker of annoyance flashed through Tom's features as his hand gripped onto the arm of the chair tighter. "If you want someone to treat you right and to be honest in every single possible way with you, I think you know who you might want to choose." Benedict looked to his friend. "But I have already pleaded my case with you and I know whom your boss, Missy, prefers."

I eyed Benedict, saying, "Yes, you have already pleaded your case, but I do not think I would like to attend such an event with a man who knows every possible detail about my life but I don't know a single thing about him."

"What can I say?" Benedict said playfully. "I really am Sherlock Holmes."

"Just like how Tom is really Loki?" I said, turning to Tom. "We have hurt each other both, Tom, and Benedict is right." A flashing smile spread across Benedict's face. "He was honest with me about what you were up to, despite how he might have delivered the message."

"But that doesn't mean that he is the right person for you," Tom said, his voice shaking. I could just tell that he didn't want to be there. I was having the same feeling about just wanting to leave all of this behind. "I might have deceived you and asked for my heart back because I did not want to be hurt by anything following the information I revealed to you but that does not mean that I don't love you."

"Ahh," I said, relaxing into the couch. "The things men do for love." My eyes never left Tom as his nervousness became more apparent. "But lust, however, is something completely different."

"You were never anything I lusted after, Nicole," Tom urged. "I truly loved you."

"How could you have loved me when your actions tell me otherwise?" I said. "That time on the airplane, you could have not followed me into the bathroom."

"There was an incident in the bathroom?" Benedict commented, more interested in what was going between us. "Tell me more."

I glared at Benedict before I said to Tom, "I wanted to get away from you because I knew what was happening was a bad idea."

"It's not like you didn't respond to what was happening," Tom retorted. "It was difficult to hide my feelings from you."

"The feelings initiated by Criss," I spat. "I can't believe you, Thomas. You can have your damn heart back because there is no way, I repeat, no way, I could want it any more."

Tom looked like he had been shot about a million times and was dying slowly. I regretted what I said a little but not much. It was a good thing that I had separated myself from Tom because all it would do was destroy us, piece by piece.

I couldn't have a man that could do that to me hanging around. I needed to be my own person and Tom couldn't do that from what I could see. Especially right now. As much as Tom lusted after me, I did after him -- I realised then. All I had felt towards him was a comfortable lust that was still there as I said those words to him and separated us for good.

I had to become the new Nicole on my own, without the assistance of Tom, or Benedict for that matter. In that moment, I decided that I would attend that BAFTA's, buy alone. I would focus all my energy and time into that after party to make it the most memorable experience the guests could have had and something that would be talked about for a very, very long time afterwards.

I would have to start designing a dress as soon as possible as this would be an event where you couldn't just store by a dress. I would sit down with Audrey once she had sent out the invitations and design something with her as she would obviously have more of an idea of what a stunning dress would look like.

The silence between us had obviously gone on for too long so I set out to say something, turning to Benedict to say, "Just because I have rejected Tom and we wish no longer to be together as a couple, that does not mean that you can make your move to claim me. I am not someone to be claimed. I am my own being, my own person, and I would like to continue my life, at least for a little while alone." I stood from the chair, looking down at the men in front of me. They eyes looked up to me as I stood. "Now, if you would excuse me, I have the BAFTA's to prepare for."