Breach

I leave Antony voice mail after voice mail but even after two days he doesn’t bother answering. I sigh. Wasn’t I basically doing the same thing to him two days ago? The feeling of being ignored sucks. I’m such a prick…stopping basically all contact with him at once is a little too drastic. I need to slowly distance myself.

That’s the whole issue though. What if I can’t? What if my weird thoughts come bursting out and everything I have with Antony is ruined?! I guess it doesn’t matter since I’m trying to get away from him anyways to prevent these thoughts of mine.

Ugh, everything is just so confusing and messed up. I hate this.

To get my mind off things I call up Mick. As usual he’s hanging out with his girlfriend, Cassidy…but this is my chance, right? Cassidy is a pretty popular girl. She has a lot of friends. I’m sure if I asked Mick to ask her to hook me up with one of her friends she’d be more than happy to do so. Y’know girls and their strange fetish with hooking their friends up…I’ll never understand it.

“Hey Mick, you wanna do your bud a favor?” My tone has Mick groaning.

“What do you want man?” He sighs as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

I laugh. “It’s nothing bad, I swear.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Ask Cassidy in the most subtle way possible to…y’know…get me a date with one of her friends.”

Mick bursts into laughter. I huff angrily as I listen to him practically choke. After an eternity of his laughter he says out of breath, “You’re kidding right? Man…are you that desperate? Get a girl yourself.”

“This is serious! I’d do it for you.”

“That’s because you’re a puss,” Mick teases. “Ok, I’ll see if she’s ok with you coming with us to the movies tonight. I’ll ask her to bring a friend too…that sound good?”

I sigh in relief. “You’re a life saver.”

“You owe me.” Mick hangs up afterwards, claiming that Cassidy was getting impatient.

I guess I did sound a bit desperate asking for Cassidy’s help. I can’t say I’m not desperate right now. I really just need to get my head on straight. Thinking about Antony isn’t right. If there’s a girl around I surely will forget all about my feelings for Antony. I hope.

~

“I’m so glad you decided to ask for some help,” Cassidy says to me with a giddy smile. I feel I know that smile, oh I do. It’s the smile that says ‘I have a friend that likes you and now I get to hook you up with her and like O-M-G she is tots going to owe me for this,” smile. Yes, yes it is that smile.

I cringe a bit at the look but I must endure. I must go out with this girl. I have to like her…or come to like her or at least find her breasts attractive so I think of her chest rather than Antony’s…because thinking about how our chests brushed is just…no. I won’t have it.

Girls Bishop, girls. The allure of a woman’s body, imagine it, imagine it.

Not really helping.

“Why do we have to pick her up? She’s in the opposite direction of the movies,” Mick whines, exiting his home with his girlfriend at his side. Cassidy’s elbow meets Mick’s stomach and with a loud ‘umph’ the boy quits his whining.

I laugh at this. Oh how girls manage to get what they want. It’s a miraculous thing.

“Robin is so excited about tonight. You better treat her well Bishop or I will never help you out again!” Cassidy threatens. She throws in a little glare over the shoulder to show her seriousness.

I bite my lip and shyly reply, “I will do my best…?”

Cassidy rolls her eyes at my kind of question, kind of statement…thing. I guess I feel somewhat bad about this. I’m only trying to get with a girl to get my mind back on the straight and narrow. And by straight I mean literally straight, like sexual orientation straight.

Hopefully this girl isn’t too into me so I don’t end up feeling like a total dirtbag.

“I’ll go get her,” Cassidy says after pulling into her friend’s driveway. She exits the car to run up the front steps and into the house of her friend, leaving Mitch and I.

Said boy looks back to me with a cocked brow, one that I recognize. He’s about to try and get something out of me before the girls get back.

“Does this have anything to do with that Antony dude?” Mick asks calmly. However I am not so calm after hearing it. I desperately shake my head, denying it completely. Mick knows me though so he’s aware I’m lying.

Silence follows afterwards as he waits for me to say something. I don’t know what to say though. If I were to try speaking and telling him he’s out of his mind for thinking that this is about Antony…I fear that I may make it sound like it is. Because it is.

I bite my lip while Mick lets out an aggravated chuckle. “It is. Whatever man but don’t go being a douche to a girl who digs you just cause you can’t figure out which way your door swings.”

Shocked by what Mick says I don’t even realize the girls have returned until we had pulled out of the driveway. Beside me Robin is talking but everything she says makes me sick, sick at myself.