Breach

“Culinary? I’m glad to see you’ve finally managed to get some idea of what you want to do after graduation Bishop,” Mr. Garner says to me with a kind smile. Unlike some other seniors I haven’t visited him much to reveal my graduation plans seeing as I didn’t really have any. Whenever Mr. Garner tried to speak to me about it, I usually avoided him or dodged the questions but honestly, I do feel better now that I’ve got somewhat of a plan.

I shrug, unsure of what else to say. I’m sure other students have more of an idea of what they’re doing while here I am with nothing but ‘culinary.’ I don’t know what school I should go to or if I could even afford to go. The idea of Antony helping to pay for it bugs the hell out of me. Just because we’re together doesn’t mean he has to pay for my college. College is crazy expensive and he already had to pay for his own.

There’s a small part of me considering asking my father about it, but seeing as we haven’t really talked in at least a month I don’t think that’s an option. Who knows, he may want to help in some way or he could have forgotten he even had a kid to begin with! I’m going with the latter.

He is my dad though and I feel I should inform him of my plans for after school. With that in mind I make my way to my old home. I feel awkward standing outside the door with key in hand, a key I haven’t used in months. I didn’t bother telling Antony about this because he’d probably insist to come along. I don’t want to bother him with this.

Taking a deep breath I knock before entering. I peek my head into the door and ask, “Hello? Dad? You home?”

He’s usually home around the same time as Antony and seeing as my phone is now buzzing in my pocket I am assuming Antony has gotten home to see my note that I left claiming that I’d be back later. Dad should be home too then, but I continue to call into the house until I hear movement coming from the living room. I stand awkwardly in the doorway and watch my dad walk into the hall seeming shocked to see me.

“Bishop?” He asks, taking a few steps forward but stopping a few feet from me. “Uhm…how-how are you doing?”

At least he asked. I shrug. “Good I guess. You?”

“Fine.”

This is so awkward. It must be for the both of us seeing as he makes no move to speak either. The two of us stand there in silence. My eyes are locked on the floor so I haven’t a clue where he’s looking. Minutes pass before dad chooses to speak, “Have you been okay where you’re staying?”

“Uh…y-yeah, I’m good. Actually, I came to tell you about my plans…after graduation.” I nod as if that’ll somehow work up the courage needed to face him. Eventually, I do look his way to see him smiling and he gestures for the two of us to head into the kitchen. I follow him and take a seat at the table with him directly across from me. “I decided that I’m going for culinary. I d-don’t really know where…or if I can even afford it-“

“You can,” he interrupts then apologizes for doing so but continues. “You can put down that you’re living with me. I’ll pay anything if going to school is…is what you wants to do.”

“O-Oh, really? Cool,” I mumble, unsure of how to react to him sounding enthusiastic about my going to school. I half expected he laugh at my choice or go into a lecture as to why it’s a terrible idea.

I stay a little longer to catch up with him. I leave out mostly everything about Antony, simply mentioning him here or there as a friend who has been very helpful. Dad thinks I’ve been staying with Mick so that’s good. If he knew I about me staying with an older man, and my boyfriend at that, I don’t know how he’d react. I leave about two hours after showing up, sighing heavily in relief the moment I exit the door.

I really want to get home. Antony’s probably worried. By the looks of it, he is since my phone tells me he text me about five times and called three. I decide to text him and inform him that I’m on my way back. When I return, Antony is on the couch looking concerned. When he hears the door open, he whips his head around to see me smiling apologetically.

“You went to see your dad by yourself?” He hisses and gets up to walk over to me. I’m envolped in a hug that nearly crushes me.

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine,” I assure him around a laugh. “Actually he uh…offered to help with my schooling so that’s cool.”

Antony nods. “Yeah…I suppose it is. So…nothing happened?”

I shrug. “Nah, just some fatherly-son bonding…not really, but for us it was.”

Antony chuckles then takes my head in order to lead me to the couch. I ask if he wants me to make something but he shrugs it off, saying that he microwaved something and unless I’m hungry not to bother. I take a seat beside him on the couch, resting my head on his shoulder as I do. Our hands remain intertwined between us as we watch whatever show Antony decided on.

“I don’t even know what school I’m going to. It’s pretty sad, huh?” I chuckle sadly to myself.

Antony looks to me with a reassuring smile and says, “It doesn’t matter. Deciding your future takes time. You can’t expect all the answers to come to you at once. Besides,” he raises our hands and squeezes them together gently. “We’ll do it together, so it’s not so bad.”

“I guess so,” I mumble while blushing.

The two of us fall into a comfortable silence. It’s true, that my future is unclear and I haven’t a clue how things will turn out. However, I have Antony with me who I know will do everything in his power to help so it’s not so scary. Hopefully, one day, I will be as much of a dependable adult to him as he is to me. I hope to be of use, to be helpful, to be able to lean on him as he can lean on me and maybe I can’t do that now, but it’ll take time.

As if he could somehow hear what I had just been thinking Antony leans over to press a lingering kiss to my forehead while whispering, “Love you, Bishop.”

I hum and happily reply, “Yeah, I love you too Annie.”

I will stick with doing what I can; loving him and that should be enough, for now.