Skin and Bones

“It’s just so frustrating Garrett, I really thought I could come home but I’m stuck here for a couple of weeks more.” I was venting on the phone to Garrett; he was a massive reason why I wanted to go home. He along with the rest of his band The Maine were leaving for Europe in three weeks so it was a race against time.

“I know you want to come home and I want you home I really do. Just think when you do come home I’ll get a bottle of Jack, all my Star Wars DVD’s and we can have the coolest party the world has ever seen!” I laughed through the phone, for me that sounded like the perfect night.

“I can’t wait; you have to take me to Panera Bread I can’t believe I gave all that up.” I sighed and got embarrassed as I always did when I thought about how stupid I had been.

“And In N’ Out! You used to live in that place.” I cringed at that. I was better but some things still unnerved me, I was very conscious as to what I put in my body. No fried or fatty foods were to pass through my lips, the thought made me feel sick. The centre very much emphasised healthy eating; all the meals were balanced with brown carbohydrates, vegetables and lean meats. The cooking classes were full of fresh ingredients and emphasised the nutritional information food contained.

“Panera Bread first, one thing at a time.” I rolled over on my bed looking at the clock on my left, on seeing I had ten minutes left until lights out I knew I had to say goodbye.

“Anyway Garrett I need to love you and leave you,” I sighed at the thought of not seeing Garrett or speaking to him. It was almost as hard as being away from him then it was beating this thing.

“Two weeks will fly by and we’ll have the most fun we’ve ever had I promise you that.” I smiled wondering what Garrett had in store for me when I was allowed to leave.

“So what’s the news?” The blue eyed boy looked up at his long-time friend and band mate Pat. The Maine were currently in Pat’s living room thrashing out tour details such as set lists and merchandise.

“She’s got a few more pounds to go before they let her come home; she’ll be back with us in two weeks hopefully. She sounds so much better guys you don’t know how relieved I am.” Garrett didn’t want his band mates to know he was choking up; he didn’t want to be teased.

“When did it start?” John asked realising the group have never spoken about it properly.

“She started losing a little bit of weight when she was with that Jake guy but it was after they broke up when she really started losing a lot of weight. I just put it down to stress and grief; I failed to notice all the other signs. Maybe if I would have noticed it earlier all of this could have been avoided, I let her down didn’t I?” This time there was no hiding his break down, tears made his eyes watery, a couple escaped and rolled down his cheek. His voice cracked at the end of his utterance making him sound like a twelve year old boy whose voice wasn’t one way or the other.

“Don’t blame yourself man, it wouldn’t have been something I would have considered either, that’s never been something anyone would consider.” Jared tried to reason with his friend trying to lift his spirits.

“Yeah it’s not as if Eva blames you so you have no need to blame yourself.” Garrett realised Kennedy was right, Eva was leaning on him and maintained he was her rick and the very reason for her recovery. He just wanted her home.

“Look at that, you can’t even see her hipbones anymore.”

“She needs a fat camp not an anorexia clinic.” I ignored the jibes a few of the other girls were aiming at me and reminded myself what my future would look like and what their future would be like. I was looking at a great life with my best friends and they were looking at a hospital bed and a coffin. I picked up my dinner; grilled chicken breast, potatoes and some salad ignoring all the girls who were gasping at the sight of someone choosing to eat carbohydrates which was considered enemy number one.

After a few mouthfuls of eating in silence, making sure I made a big deal about the potatoes; I saw a plate drop next to mine. I didn’t have to look to know who it was, there was only one person who spoke to me; Martin. Martin was twenty four years old and had battled anorexia on and off since he was fifteen years old. Our stories weren’t all that different, I had Jake and he had his new abusive stepfather. Both of our real dads were deceased and food seemed like the only thing in our lives we had control over. Martin didn’t want to get better that is until he saw me getting better and once he found out my story was similar to his, he felt the kick he needed to get better too.

“Potatoes? That’s why they were whispering about you in the line.” I glanced at Martin’s plate to see a homemade healthy pizza with salad. I moved my gaze to his face which was filling out in both mass and colour.

“Garrett goes on tour in three weeks I have to get home in at least two. Plus if I spend my time obsessing over certain foods I’m not cured am I?” That’s what Karen told me, although greasy and fast food still filled me with dread. I had told Martin all about Garrett and The Maine boys along with how much they meant to me. Martin maintained he didn’t have anyone on the outside he was close to which pulled at my heart strings a little.

“You talk about him a hell of a lot,” Martin muttered between mouthfuls of lettuce.

“Sorry I didn’t know.” I didn’t want to bore him, especially since he was the only person here who gave me the time of day.

“It’s okay, you just care a lot about him which is nice. Are you sure you two are just friends? I hate to pry but as I said you do talk about him a lot.” If I had a dollar for every time someone asked if Garrett and I were or ever had been a couple I would be a millionaire. I had thought about dating Garrett once when we were fourteen but when he dated Rachael I sent those feelings away. I wasn’t blind, I was well aware of how attractive my best friend was. I was not on love with him by any means, I didn’t yearn for him I simply found him attractive, that’s normal right?

“We’re just friends, we’ve always been just friends that’s all we ever will be.”

“Do you want to be more? Just from how you said it you dint sound too happy about it.”

“We’re just friends.” I took another mouthful of potato staring at another girl while doing so.

“I really hope when we both get out of here we can stay in touch, even though you’re younger than me I look up to you.” My heart swelled a little, no one had ever looked up to me before.

“Thank you very much, I’d love to stay in contact; keep up with each other’s progress and help each other.” I pushed my plate away from me feeling full from carbohydrates. I looked at Martin as he cut his pizza and couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride I helped him gain the confidence to do this.

“Great well look out for me since you’ll leave first.”

“I’ll phone you in here and when you’re allowed to go home we can arrange a meet up.”

“I’m looking forward to it already.” I returned Martin’s smile as I got up to clear my plate. Ignoring the fat girl jibes I made my way to the plate station and help my head high just like Garrett told me to do.