Skin and Bones

“Now he wants to go for lunch what do I do?” I was pacing my bedroom while on the phone to Martin. Partly because I was stressed about the situation and partly because I needed a distraction from looking in the mirror.

“Where are you guys going? At least don’t go to a greasy place.”

“We haven’t decided yet, I’d cancel if I didn’t want to see him so much” I heard Martin cough on the other end of the phone.

“You were the queen of distraction if I remember. If you didn’t hide it you’d put it on other’s plates or hold it in your throat. My favourite was when you fake fainted to get out of meal times.”

“That’s it, I’ll fake ill then I won’t have to eat as much, you’re a real friend Martin you understand me.” I had stopped pacing by this point instead I was staring at myself in the mirror poking at my huge hips.

“He’ll never understand Eva, he’ll try to but he’ll never understand.” I couldn’t help but agree with Martin, Martin knew my insecurities but Garrett didn’t. He could never see what I saw and that was the problem.
Garrett was on the phone too, not to a friend or family member, it wasn’t even anyone he knew remotely well but he knew he needed Karen’s help, Eva wasn’t his Eva and it was scaring him.

“How much weight has she lost?” after exchanging pleasantries Garrett cut straight to the chase, time was precious.

“In total six pounds, I’m glad you’ve noticed Garrett I was starting to worry. She was doing so well now she’s going backwards.

“As soon as I saw her I noticed she had lost weight. It’s not just that but it’s her attitude she’s acting different again like she’s closed off.” Garrett was worried, she was doing so well but seemed to have done a one eighty it all seemed to start when Martin came out and befriended her.

“At least you know what to look out for I’d like you to come to our session in two days so we can have a talk with her.”

“I’ll be there, does this happen a lot?”

“It’s not a straight road Garrett; some people find the journey really hard and yoyo for years. It’s all about support and she has that from you so I’m hopeful, she needs to learn to ignore other people in her life who maybe aren’t that helpful.” Garrett knew what she was getting at and was happy to be united with Karen. It happened in the clinic with Chantelle and now with Martin, she was easily influenced. Jake once has a hold on her and was a huge influence on her life it happened in school too. Eva wasn’t a leader she was a follower and through fear sometimes got lead to do things.
Garrett picked me up at half twelve for lunch, I kept replaying the plan in my head. I stayed quiet, made a point to not wear any make up and kept holding my stomach.

“Anything wrong Eva?” Even though he was driving he kept glancing over at mw with a worried face.

“Just a tummy bug it came on last night it’s all swirly and I feel a bit sick.”

“You should have said we could have done something else.” Poor old gullible Garrett.

“I wanted to at least try.” If he knew I was trying, well thought I was trying then maybe he would leave me alone if I failed to eat. I started to shake slightly as Ed was taunting me; he hadn’t stopped all morning and was extra vicious today. ‘Don’t trust him he wants to make you fatter, he wants you under his control. No one else will want you in a few weeks you won’t even be able to get out of bed.’ I panicked and looked down at my stomach. I remember when I saw it as flat that was only a few weeks ago but now all I saw were rolls. I kept poking at it not caring Garrett was next to me, he probably thought it was because of my so called illness.

“You have an appointment soon don’t you?” Garrett asked while gunning it on the freeway.

“Tomorrow,” I mumbled trying to get Ed to stop; he was insulting Garrett calling him fat which was confusing me. I always thought he was perfect.

“I’d like to see how you’re doing; I mean you need a ride anyway so I might as well come in with you.” Garrett couldn’t know, if he came he would know how much I had apparently lost and he would get mad. Although I was failing to see how, if anything I had gained ten pounds, I sure felt like I did.

“You don’t have to,” I replied all too quickly, I was getting suspicious.

“I want to.” I didn’t protest I knew I couldn’t, he’d turn up at my house anyway. Martin offered to go with me but I’d have to turn him down now.
I managed three mouthfuls of couscous and a slice of pepper before excusing myself. Garrett didn’t say anything but his eyes told a completely different story. I always found myself looking in Garrett’s eyes, they revealed a lot about him and the colour always captivated me. I felt an atmosphere between us which didn’t happen very often, I’m sure Garrett felt it too because after lunch he dropped me off and didn’t stay like usual, instead choosing to speed off back home.
Remembering a time when I loved going to Karen’s meetings I put on my shoes with shaky hands, hearing Garrett honk his horn from outside.

“Six stone eight.” Karen was talking but I wasn’t listening, the numbers meant nothing to me compared to what I could see.

“Eva, there’s a problem isn’t there?” Garrett’s voice was shaky, inside he was worried that the weight was falling off as fast as it went on.

“What do you mean?” I stepped off the scales and sat down wondering why Karen and Garrett were giving me identical looks.

“Your weight is plummeting again Eva, five more pounds and you will be readmitted Eva now I don’t want that I wasn’t a success story from you. You have the power to change this with our help so help us help you, what’s going on?”

“I’ve been ill.” I was almost ashamed of my excuse but it was better than telling them about Ed.

“For weeks? Come on Eva you’re slipping back into old habits this is serious! Do you want to end up like Chantelle?” I was a little taken aback by Garrett’s outburst he had tears in his blue eyes which was enough to make a lump appear in my throat. Ed on the other hand was a lot less sympathetic.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” I snapped back.

“Calm down Eva now you’re obviously losing weight and there’s a reason behind it.” I turned my attention to Karen; she was starting to annoy me again.

“Eva what is going on in that head of yours?” I swallowed, if only you knew Garrett, if only you knew.