Skin and Bones

I was sitting at my desk at work, I was a regular desk job nine to five girl which I hated but when I found myself orphaned and homeless at age twenty I took whatever job was available. I kept flicking my gaze to the clock on my computer nervous the dreaded 12:30 was nearing. I always asked to work through my lunch hour, my boss asked me if I wanted to change my hours so I could go home early without working through my lunch but I declined merely saying I had big breakfasts and I don’t get hungry. I looked over at one of my co-workers Greyson and wondered how she could eat all the food in her arms and still stay as beautiful as she was, I resented her. I looked down at my belly disgusted just looking at the case of donuts in Greyson’s hand made me gain pounds, I could feel them growing on me. My stomach was expending by the second I could feel it spilling over the top of my skirt.

I walked into my apartment after work and flopped straight onto the couch exhausted, it wasn’t an unusually busy day at work I always found myself tired these days. I looked towards the kitchen door trying to make an agonising decision, it has been over thirty two hours since I last ate something but the feeling of disgust and Ed’s words wouldn’t go away. I decided to mull over the decision over a glass of water but as soon as I got up I had to lay back down as I felt dizzy as soon as I stood. When it didn’t subside as I thought it would I started to worry and called the only person who I thought could help me.

“Eva! How are you? Everything okay?” He always sounded urgent when I called him.

“Please help me, I… I don’t feel well,” I managed to whisper while trying to keep the room still.

“I’ll be right there don’t hang up okay stay on the line with me, tell me what’s wrong.” I could hear a lot of crashing and fumbling in the background as I tried to tell my oldest friend what was the matter with me. I don’t think it was cohearable but Garrett didn’t let on one, he acted calm and as if he understood. He could never really understand what I felt, the words spoken to me by Ed, the abuse he gave me on a daily basis.

My vision was blurred and my hearing fuzzy as if I was under water. Garrett edged me to keep talking to him but I couldn’t muster any more than whispers. I faintly heard some scratching at my front door and within seconds the faded shadow of my best friend appeared before me.

“Eva stay awake for me, I got Pat to call an ambulance it should be here soon but until they do you have to stay awake for me.” Garrett’s words were no more than white noise to me. My breathing began to shallow as I started to panic, what was happening to me? Just as two strange shadows appeared my vision went black then I shut off.

I woke up with a jolt which was weird because I didn’t remember going to sleep. I heard soft murmurs which confused me even more since I lived alone, I opened my eyes and closed them soon after as the unusually bright lights disorientated me.

“Eva?” I heard I knew that voice; what on earth happened to me? Why was Garrett here, where was here? I opened my eyes again trying my luck for the second time. The light wasn’t so blinding that time and I managed to keep my eyes open and gain some focus. Garrett stood before me red eyed and pale, was he okay?

“Are you okay?” I managed to choke out, concerned by his appearance.

“You’re asking me if I’m okay? Eva I should be the one asking you, you’re the one who’s sick.”

What’s wrong with me?” I panicked fearing the worst; my family didn’t have a great medical history.

“Eva how can you not know? Your weight has plummeted you have no energy you don’t eat in front of people anymore, you…you have an eating disorder,” he sobbed out his eyes growing watery. I stared at him us disbelief, the only eating disorder I could have is obesity.

“Garrett I don’t understand what you mean.” I looked at him studying him closely, he looked like he had been on tour for years on end, he looked exhausted.

“Come on Eva I’ve noticed the change in you and your eating habits. You look so skinny you look sick, you are sick. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t do anything about it. I’m meant to be your best friend, I promised your mum I would look after you after she went and
I’ve failed.” I saw the tears fall freely down his cheeks, I had only seen Garrett cry once before and it was enough to break my heart.

“Garrett I’m not sick!”

“Yes you are! You can’t honestly look at yourself in the mirror and think it’s healthy.” The concern was avid in his face.

“No, it’s not,” I answered; I could hear Ed again with more fat jibes. I had smashed the mirror in my bedroom as I hated looking at myself.

“What’s so bad about it hun?” He squeezed my hand tightly; it was as if he knew what I was
going to say.

“I’m hideous. I’m fat I hate staring at myself. My stomach, my legs, my arms it’s all disgusting,” I exclaimed tears rolling down my cheeks freely.

“Oh Eva, why didn’t I do something about his earlier?” I was just about to question him when we were interrupted by a man in a white coat walking into my room holding a clipboard.

“Miss McGuire.” His thin lips tried to muster a smile but it looked sad, sympathetic even. I noticed his hands which were tightly gripping the clipboard were littered with short dark black hairs.

“I’m Doctor Carmichael and I’ve been looking after you since you were brought in two hours ago.” I didn’t like the way he was talking to me, it was patronising like he was used to speaking to children. When I only nodded a response Doctor Gorilla continued.

“You were very weak when you came in. Your heart was working funny and your body shut down. On paper it’s something of a mystery for a young woman’s organs to almost fail but to look at you the answer is very obvious. How long have you suffered with anorexia?”