Skin and Bones

“Eva come on please I just want to talk to you, I bought you a present from New York.” I heard him from the other side of the door. I love New York, I went with him once when I joined the band on tour and I wanted to go back for a trip. Garrett said he would take me whenever he had the chance but until that day he always brought me back something from there.

“Eva I’m not mad at you I just came to see you.” He was pleading; the tone was evident in his voice. The battle between Ed and my guilt was a fiery one. My conscience was edging me to see him and apologise while Ed was trying to tell me Garrett was a traitor and that I didn’t need him. For the first time in I don’t know how long my conscience won. I opened the door to see the back of Garrett but on hearing the creak of my door he turned around. His bright blue eyes widened to almost twice their size when they set themselves on me. What was so shocking? Did he forget how big I was?

“Eva you… you moved out.” I had a feeling that wasn’t what he was originally planning to say.

“I felt I could do it better at home,” I whispered, my heart was fluttering I have no idea why, was it because I was lying to my best friend? Garrett did something I didn’t expect from him he simply took me into his arms and held me tight. Then he did something I really would never expect; he started sobbing. I could hear and feel him crying and I had no idea why or what to do.

“Garrett what’s wrong?” I asked after a while of an awkward silence.

“Eva, if you’re still in there I miss you, please come back.” He cried as I stood confused.

“Garrett I’m right here,” I replied letting Garrett go, he looked at me with tears in his eyes still, his cheeks were wet and red.

“Where’s the girl who would sneak into R-rated movies with me, who would stay up late sometimes all night and eat so many sour patch kids she’d almost be sick. Where is the carefree girl who never cared what people thought and always would do anything for anyone no matter what time of day and night?”

“She’s here Garrett she never left.”

“I beg to differ hun, here’s your present.” He handed me a box and left me standing there dumbfounded I sat down, my legs hurting from standing up for so long. I opened up the box and was curious to see a blank DVD inside. I got my laptop after a short struggle; I didn’t always remember it being so heavy. After setting everything up I was surprised to see Garrett’s face pop up on the screen.

“Eva, remember when you slept round my house after your dads funeral because you were too upset to go home? I took your hand and I told you I would never let anything hurt you. I’m so sorry I’ve failed Eva I don’t know how this has happened but this thing has got you and I let it happen. Maybe if I had caught the signs earlier maybe told you you’re beautiful more often because you are beautiful. I’m in New York right now and I have someone with me I’d like you to listen to. Eva this is Sarah.” The camera moved to the left to show an almost deadly looking girl. Her bones were sticking out at every angle; her skin was pale and flaky; like mine which was beginning to peel.

“Eva, six months ago I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, at first I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t believe how someone like me could be perceived as skinny. I ignored everyone’s advice to get help. My weight dropped down to five stone eight but the numbers meant nothing to me because of what I saw. I got so sick I went into hospital. All my organs were failing and my muscles were breaking down. It took me almost dying to realise I had a problem but the damage has been done. My heart has damage and I will need surgery on it when I’m better. I’ll need help walking for the rest of my life and I’ll never be able to have children. Eva I am begging you to get help now, it’s not too late for you to reverse what you’ve done.” The screen faded a little then Garrett came back into view.

“I love you Eva McGuire please just let me help you, I can’t watch you killing yourself anymore.” The screen went black as I started to cry, was something really wrong with me? Was everybody not wrong, was Ed wrong? He didn’t like that accusation at all ‘I’m not wrong all you need to do is look in the mirror to know I’m right.’ I hastily stood up and made my way to the bathroom. I kept my eyes closed and composed myself, readying myself for the sight I was about to subject myself to. When I finally opened up my eyes the bile rose up to my throat. I could have cried at the sight, I was hideous. Ed I am so sorry; you were right.

I found myself not going back to work since I became too fragile to get out of bed. Garrett called often but he never came round anymore which I found strange. Garrett’s mum dropped round to see how I was but didn’t stay long. She didn’t bring round a pot of homemade food which she always did, even if I didn’t eat it I always welcomed the gesture. I had been in my bed for well over a day and was desperate for a glass of water. I shakily got up and with the help from my furniture moved around my room. I had no idea why I was so unsteady on my feet. Since I didn’t have a handrail on my stairs due to them being so narrow; I held on to the wall and walked down sideways one step at a time. As I was almost half way down a sharp knock at the front door startled me and I lost my footing. Being unsteady on my feet as it was I found it impossible to rectify myself and my head made contact with the stairs. I felt my entire body hit the floor more than once, I thought I’d never stop but when I did I didn’t know whether to be relieved or not since the pain kicked in. I tried to get up but I couldn’t muster the strength to even move an inch.

“Eva? I know you’re there I just heard something.” Oh God it was Garrett. I tried to shout out but no sound would come out. The pain increased with every breath I took I couldn’t take it anymore; it was burning through me and was becoming unbearable.

“Eva please, I have a key I’ll come in anyway.” I had never been gladder that I had given him a key than I was in that moment. I felt my eyes closing as everything went faint. I hear the letter box open then Garrett’s voice filled my ears but it was slightly fuzzy.

“Oh my God Eva hang on babe!” The door opened and I just had time to see Garrett by my side until the pain along with everyone else left me.

“Eva what have you done to yourself? Why won’t you listen? What will it take for you to believe me?” I woke up to Garrett’s voice but I couldn’t open my eyes. He continued, since I couldn’t
talk back.