Skin and Bones

I woke up in a similar but unfamiliar room to the one I was just in. The basics and colours were the same and the bed was just as lumpy. I looked to the right and saw a drip; I prayed there wasn’t some kind of food hidden into it. My train of thought was halted by Karen walking through the door, oh God she was one of the last people I wanted to see.

“Eva you’re sick Hunny you’re very sick and even though you may not see it right now we’re trying to help you.” I looked at Karen without saying a word I didn’t feel the need to. My life was turned upside down so I wasn’t in a chatty mood.

“We’ve put nutrients such as iron and vitamin c into your drip. Meal times here are at eight am, twelve thirty and six pm. You’ll have a talk with me twice a week and a group session once a week, but all the rest of the time is up to you. We have cooking classes, exercise classes for you or you can relax here in your room or the communal areas.” Was this woman bi-polar? She was acting all sweat to me again like the woman I first saw in the hospital.

“Eva if you need anything I’m here for you.” I stayed silent as she departed. After I was sure she was out of ear shot I wept. I wept for everything; firstly for the terrifying situation I was in, then for both of my parents. In the end I was weeping for the bumble bee that flew into my window and died when I was six. I just couldn’t stop.

“We’re watching some TV in the communal space if you’re interested.” I looked up at a tiny blonde girl. She stood at no more than five foot one, I could see her hip bones above her blue jeans and her white vest was at least two sizes too big, I didn’t belong with people like this.

“I’m okay thank you,” I refused as politely as I could.

“I was new two months ago, scary isn’t it? I live next door so if you feel scared pop your head round the door kay?” She smiled and I sent a small one back as to not be unkind. When she left I reflected on what she had said, she had been here for two months? How long would I have to stay here? I also wondered what she looked like when she arrived if she was that skinny after two months. I looked nothing like her; I was probably ten times as big as her.
The stares made me feel the most uncomfortable I had ever felt. It was day two for me and Wednesday was group therapy day.

“How much do you weigh?” A dark brunette with matching dark rings around her eyes asked as I sat at the back of the room.

“This morning it said six stone eight.”

“That’s nothing; I was five stone twelve when I got admitted.” What was this some kind of competition?

“She doesn’t want to hear your bull crap Lacey.” I looked up and saw the blonde girl who came into my room the night before. The girl I now knew to be Lacey moved to the front of the room as the blonde girl sat next to me.

“She’s just here for attention, she pretends to faint all the time it’s pathetic. I realised I didn’t tell you my name last night; it’s Chantelle.”

“Eva.”

“My middle name is Eve how weird!”

“Mines spelt the Irish way A.O.I.F.E.” How could this girl be so enthusiastic?

“Oh exotic I like it, my great grandfather’s Mexican.” I smiled a response and took the time to study the room; more importantly the people in it. To my surprise there were two guys in the mix who would make Pat look like a gladiator. Karen walked into the room with two other women all in smart clothing. I met one at breakfast this morning; she frowned when I picked up an apple and took it to my room instead of opting to eat with everyone at the table.

“Let’s begin everybody; we have a new arrival from yesterday Eva. Would you stand up Eva?” Karen shouted quietening down the group and singled me out which I hated. I obliged anyway as not to be impolite. The stares could have burned holes into me and I uncomfortably took my seat. I felt as if I was in an AA meeting as everyone talked about their progress since the last time everyone got together. The session lasted just over an hour and a half, when I went to leave Karen stopped me and pulled me aside.

“Did you have breakfast this morning?” She folded her arms and looked down at me but still had some warmth in her eyes.

“I had an apple in my room.” It was partly the truth I took an apple to my room; it was still sitting in one of my drawers.

“I thought you didn’t like apples because of what happened?” How did she remember that? She caught me out and I knew it, I just wanted to go home.

“I tried to conquer my fear.”

“Eva are you okay?” I didn’t understand why she asked that question but when I suddenly went dizzy I understood. After a few seconds of unsteadiness I fell to the floor but I stayed conscious.

“Medic please!” Karen crouched down to my side.

“What an attention seeker she doesn’t even have her eyes closed!” That sounded like Lacey, I heard Chantelle scorn her before I finally fell asleep.

Garrett didn’t know if he had done the right thing. He knew Eva needed help, professional help but he didn’t know much about the place she was at. Garrett relaxed when he was allowed a visit, it wasn’t typically allowed but since Garrett had yet to see it they made a special exception. He’d have a tour around the place, meet the counsellors and have a quick visit to Eva just to see how she was getting on before leaving her to treatment. He chose his clothes carefully for once not knowing why. A pair of good fitting jeans with a T shirt donning her favourite band The Smiths accompanied the denim jacket she loved. He ran his hand through his seldom washed but never greasy hair before throwing on some black boots and departed. The drive took roughly forty minutes, Garrett’s heart pounded when he arrived and excited his car. The building was surprisingly modern looking with tan brick and blue window frames. It had that clinical smell which hit Garrett when he walked in however and the inside décor was beige and minimal.

“May I help you?” Garrett looked at the woman who offered her services, she was middle aged, brunette and although thin she was healthy.

“I’m Garrett I have an appointment,” he choked out trying to find the card. He was a shy and awkward man despite his job of a musician. The only times he felt confident was within the comfort of his friends or on stage.

“Yes I got told. Eva McGuire.” Garrett could tell from the woman’s tone all was not well.

“You can still have the tour but I’m afraid you won’t be able to see her, she had a funny turn she’s in the medical wing. She collapsed this morning in group therapy.” Garrett sighed and dropped his head, only comforted in the fact she was in the right place.