Lovesick Fool

“You sure you don’t want to come?” Mom asked for the 463465th time this past hour

I rolled my eyes at her remark. “Mom?” I sighed.

“Yes, baby?” She said in a worried tone. “Is something wrong?”Ugh, I groaned. Don’t get me started with this again.

To say that my mom is a paranoid would be an understatement. She is, in fact, the hugest paranoid that I’ve ever meet. She freaks out even at the smallest things. She might throw a wake every time an ant dies if she feels like it- that’s how unreasonable she is. But don’t get me wrong, I love her- she is my mom but sometimes (which is actually every time) her mind set just gets into my nerves.

“Uhm,” I said as I bit my lower lip, trying to make up the right words to explain how I feel. One more thing, she’s easily hurt and I know better than to make her cry. “Can we, uhm, not discuss this again? Look, mom, I made my decision, remember? I just don’t feel like going there anymore and I’m kind of tired,” I look up to see her expression- relief washed over me as soon as my eyes met hers. I offered her a sympathetic smile. “Besides, I think dad and you need some time alone, you know.”

“But honey, you’ll enjoy Chicago,” she said in a voice much higher than usual as she roam around the room, “And we can go to London too, if that’s what you crave for,” this time, she clapped her hands together- showing enthusiasm.

“Mom-,” Before I could even continue, I was cut off by someone- my dad. Little by little, he inched towards me and my mom- his footsteps so light, making no sounds at all.

“Spencer?” My dad spoke up, giving me the I’ll-take-care-of-this-one look. I sighed and backed off. I know what was coming next, just like mom he’s going to persuade me- which was the last thing that I needed right now.

Fine.

“Yeah?” I replied, my eyes focused on the show in front of me.

I was expecting my dad to say something like: Please, go with us honey or it would mean a lot if you tag along, but instead he said something that I never expected- his answer caught me off guard.

“You can stay here in Scottsdale if you like.” Were the words that left my dad’s mouth. I was too taken aback by his sudden desire to let me stay here for summer.

“Pardon?” I questioned him.

“I said, you can stay here for summer- here in Scottsdale,” he made clear as he fights back a smile.

Are you on crack? I wanted to ask him. “No, really…..I…..Are you…Don’t mess with me, dad.” I told him as I stifled a laugh. I was anticipating he’d say something in return but he didn’t. He just chuckled.

1 minute…2 minutes…3 minutes passed and no one still dared to speak up. I was just about to get myself out of the scene when mom suddenly spoke up. Of course.

“Spencer can’t stay here,” Mom said on time- her voice concrete hiding the fact the she’s shaking inside. “She won’t. Never.”

“But mom-,” I tried to protest but failed. Obviously, she sliced me off before I could get going with it.

“No, Spencer! Can’t you understand that? NO,” She told me firmly. I frowned.

I stood there, arms crossed over my chest for good 5 minutes- waiting for dad to defend my side, shifting my weight to my other foot every 30 seconds while I bore my eyes into the both of them. I know what is happening, I can sense the possibility of me going with them, if dad’s going to say something- if he’s going to defend me, he should have done that moments ago but he didn’t- he gave up.

I just lost the last piece of hope- my last piece of hope.

//

Choice is obviously what I need along with freedom. I’m 19 to be exact, a year after 18- the legal age period but I still can’t do everything I want. Girls my age can do everything they intend to do after reaching 18 on the other hand I was the exact contrary- I can’t do any of those without my parents’ approval. I was oblivious of this until now- I’ve always been aware of them being overprotective but I never made a big deal out of it. It never occurred to me that someday I would need that- that in some way I would crave for that.

“They’re not forcing you to go with them, are they?” Jess asked, a smirk attached at the corner of her lips.

I raised an eyebrow at her remark. Of course. Jess is my cousin and she’s a tease. I like it; it was a good thing after all (for me at least)….until now. This is the first time ever that I considered the sudden desire of stabbing her with a knife.

“Are you mocking me?” I asked through gritted teeth.

She stood up, pacing the room while her eyes judged me- or should I say my appearance. I felt conscious. I looked down. Jess is a very gorgeous girl. She may not be the prettiest girl on earth but you might consider nominating her for that category. She is everything I’m not.

“Can we just get away here or something?” I sighed as I stood up. “I’m tired of all this persuading and bullshit. For fuck’s sake! I’m 19.”

“I know how that feels,” she started as she made her way towards me. “Trust me I know.”

“Oh you don’t!” I yelled at her, throwing my arms up in the air.

“Well,” she frowned, “I was just making you feel better. You know, like: Dude, you’re not alone!”

I had this sudden desire to let out an “Aww” but I know Jess wouldn’t be happy about it. I turned around to face her. “Thanks Jess,” I said through cracked voice as I pulled her up into a long lasting hug. “Thanks really,”

“No problem. Haha. Can we just get rid of all these dramas?” she laughed. “So, where do you want to go?”

That’s the good thing about Jess, she might be a tease but at least she knows when to get formal.

“Anywhere but here,” I answered mindlessly. “But hey, can we drop off at The Smith’s before we head to God-knows-where?”

“What are you getting?” She asked.

“A book,” I replied. I’m thinking it might be a good idea to purchase the book tonight rather than tomorrow since I’m kind of itchy to finally read it.

“I’m aware, Spencer,” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, what book?”

“A classic,”

“Really?” She was stunned. “What the hell.”

I eyed her, mouthed a fuck off and smiled, with that I ran towards the door ignoring the two astonished pair of eyes that examined my departure.

No one can stop me from living life- not even my parents.