All or Nothing

“I tell you, something’s wrong,” Val said.

“I don’t care,” Brian said, tuning his guitar.

“Brian, something is seriously wrong with her, you asshole!”

“Valary, I don’t give a fuck!”

“And if she dies? What then? Will you give a fuck then?!” Val screamed back at him.

“She’s not going to die, Val. You're being over dramatic”

“Brian, Annisa called me and told me she thinks Eliza is doing drugs.”

“You believe someone you met for all of what, ten minutes?

“I believe someone who is just as concerned about her as I am. I believe someone who helped put her back together after you fucking ruined your relationship with her…again.”

“I didn’t ruin shit, Val. She had that nasty asshole in her fucking apartment when I got there. He seemed to make himself quite at fucking home in her bed.”

“Did you see him in her bed?”

“I didn’t need to, Val.”

“So let me ask you a question, genius. The same girl who fell in love with you two years ago just somehow fell out of love with you and into a bed with a guy who was forced to be in her band by her manager? The same girl who was moved to tears about the guitar you bought her? The same girl who told her manager to chill the fuck out while she came to California just to see you? That’s the girl who you were engaged to? Because I thought it was Eliza Grey, the same girl you helped get through her father’s death and an abusive relationship? The same girl who put all her fears about singing and playing guitar aside for you and played at a concert just so you could see how much she loved you? Somehow, I don’t think that’s the fucking girl you think she is.”

“Whatever,” Brian said and moved away from Val.

He grabbed his things from the studio and said goodbye to the guys. They’d been in working on a few ideas they’d had before Matt and Val went off for their honeymoon. He knew Eliza was coming in town for the wedding, and he was hoping to see her as little as possible.

The truth was, he felt like an asshole the moment he walked out of her door. He heard Val and Katie talk about how she wasn’t answering their calls and he wanted to call her, too. He knew she wouldn’t answer and each day he swore he was going to call, but he chickened out. He knew that by now she would be fully pissed off. It’d been two months and he hadn’t even tried to see her. Yeah, she was most definitely going to be pissed off at him. He wondered if he would even make it through the wedding without her killing him. The only reason he even got mad at Val in the first place is because he knew he fucked up and honestly he was just tired of talking about the situation.

He knew she hadn’t done anything with Hunter. Why would she invite him to her house if Hunter was there? She wasn’t vindictive, and the only time she got jealous was when someone came sniffing around him, which wasn’t often. She watched as fan girl after fan girl did their thing, but at the end of the night she always knew he was coming home to her, so why couldn’t he do the same thing? Why did he have to jump to the conclusion that she was cheating on him the moment it presents itself to seem that way?

He shook his head as he pressed the elevator button. He stood, waiting for the doors to open so he could leave, go home, and wallow in his own thoughts like he’d wanted to do for the past two months. He’d never been so glad to be home in his entire life. The only problem was that his home…was Eliza’s home, too. Suddenly, he didn’t want to go home anymore. He wanted to find a bar and drink there, but knew he’d need to go home.

The doors opened up and all of his thoughts went out the windows. Eliza was standing in front of him; at least, what was once Eliza. From her high heels, to her skinny jeans, and the loose-fitting shirt, Brian’s eyes went up and down the girl. The girl in front of him was sickly thin. Her eyes were a bit sunken in and she looked exhausted. What caught Brian’s eye, however, was the fact that her beautiful hot pink and black hair was gone. Her entire head was covered in black now with two stripes of white and teal around her face, and he couldn’t be sure if it was still the same length or not. Brian couldn’t help but stare, taking it all in. He knew his jaw was hanging open but he couldn’t help it. Eliza stepped off the elevator and walked past him like he wasn’t even there. Just as she passed him, her arm brushed up against him and he felt an almost electric shock. She didn’t seem to notice as she kept walking as if nothing happened. He knew he’d fucked up, but now, she was acting as if he didn’t exist.

Stepping into the elevator, he was able to watch her walk down the hall. She didn’t even walk like she used to. Her stride was short, clipped, and looked like she didn’t have any confidence at all. Her tan was gone, and he hated the black hair. Of course, he didn’t have any say anymore, considering they weren’t together, but he couldn’t help but think about what Val had said. Annisa said she thought Eliza was on drugs but Eliza wouldn’t do them.

“And if she dies? What then? Will you give a fuck then?!”

He sighed as the doors closed. There’s no way Eliza would resort to drugs; she wasn’t stupid. He wanted desperately to go back through the doors and hug her, kiss her, and apologize. He knew he’d been a fucking idiot for jumping to conclusions. He rubbed his forehead as he exited the building and found his car.

Turning the ignition over, the radio station was blasting loudly.

“This is a brand new song from a brand new band that has major potential. Most of you guys have requested this song, and we’re bringing it to you first,”

Brian almost turned it off, but the opening chords of the song caught his attention. Turning it up, he realized Eliza’s band was on the radio. They were playing the song she’d sung to him at the concert, “Without You,” and he listened to her voice pour over the radio. She sounded so sad as she sang with soul and passion. Tears welled up in his eyes as he realized her song was being played on the radio, which meant she’d actually done it: she’d become big. Having a song played on the radio was a huge thing and Brian wished he was upstairs to celebrate.

His hand hovered over his pocket where he knew his cell phone was, but he didn’t dare touch it, knowing he’d get cussed out for even trying to text. She always hated using the phone unless it was necessary. She would’ve yelled at him to come back upstairs and say it to her face, right before she called him an asshole and she never wanted to see him again and then hung up.

Sighing, he put his car in reverse to pull out of the parking lot and he let the music wash over him. He listened to the radio announcer talk more about Shades of Grey and how Eliza was a local person. Their CD was due to come out soon and then they’d start setting up local gigs.
Pulling into his driveway, he dreaded getting out of the car. Her stuff was everywhere throughout the house and the last thing he needed right now was to be reminded of the fact he no longer had her.

The envelope taped to the door caught his eye.

He pulled it off and read his name on it. He opened it and out fell the front door key. Looking inside, he pulled the note out.

You bought it, you can have it. I didn’t touch any of your things.

She didn’t even sign her name. Tears welled up in his eyes and he blinked them away, furiously trying not to cry. Opening the door, the first thing he noticed was the pictures of them were all missing. Every single one of them was gone, including the ones of her and her father and mother. Running upstairs, he realized all the clothes in her side of the closet were gone. He pulled the drawers out onto the floor only to find them empty. He moved around the entire house, mostly trashing it, trying to find something of hers.

By the time he made his way back up to his room, he hadn’t found a thing. He sat down in the floor of their bedroom, drawers, clothes and random things around him. He sat there for another hour, crying.



Eliza knew Brian was there. She’d have to be dead to realize he wasn’t in front of her as she stepped off the elevator. It took everything she had in her to not look at him and to keep walking. When her arm brushed up against his, she felt the shock there but didn’t stop. She walked quickly to the room, and only when she was sure the elevator doors were closed did she turn around. She sighed, knowing soon he’d figure out she’d packed all of her things out of the house and taken them. She was staying with Zacky and Katie, now. Speaking of, they were waiting for her with the others in the studio so they could listen to her song be played on the radio.

Fuck, she needed a bump.

She wasn’t sure how she was going to survive this adventure without the drugs she’d been constantly ingesting since hanging out at the strip club with Annisa. They helped in the numbing process for the entire ordeal. They helped her forget and gave her more energy than she’d had in a very long time. Sure, there were side effects like her weight loss, but she could deal with that. She knew she looked like hell, and before she stepped inside, she tried to smooth out her hair and she pulled the tube of concealer from her pocket and dabbed a bit underneath her eyes, rubbing it in with her fingertips.

Knowing it was now or never, she sighed and opened the glass door.