All or Nothing

They had Eliza’s iPod playing while they cleaned the house. A few times Brian moved to the docking station, gave her a look, and changed the song. He stopped on a Theory of a Deadman song.

He listened as Eliza moved around the room, singing. When the song was half over, he started it over. Eliza whirled around and walked over to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Listen to this song,” he said, looking at her.

“Brian, I have listened to this song,” she said with a small laugh.

“No, I mean really listen. He talked about ‘backs against the ocean’. Think about it. That’s us.”

“I’m sure they didn’t write it about us.”

“No, I know that. I’m saying… this is our song.”

“We already have two songs, Brian.”

“I know that, asshole. I’m just saying, this song was really meant for us. Think about it,” he said and he started singing.

“When I first saw you standing there you know, it was a little hard not to stare. So nervous when I drove you home, I know being apart is a little hard to bear. Sent some flowers to your work in hopes that I will have you in my arms again. We kissed that night before I left and now that’s something I could never forget

You’ve got all that I need; Looking at all or nothing, babe it’s you and I. With you I know that I am good for something so let's go give it a try. We've got our backs against the ocean it’s just us against the world; looking at all or nothing, babe it’s you and I,”

“Yeah, I guess I see your point,” Eliza said, and smiled at Brian.

After the Theory of a Deadman song went off, Eliza’s song ‘Without You’ came on, and they both sang to each other, loudly.

They cleaned the entire house and then went to the grocery store. Brian had already told the guys and a few other people about the cookout and bonfire tonight. They were to get the steaks and hamburgers and hotdogs, and the others would bring everThey cleaned the entire house and then went to the grocery store. Brian had already told the guys and a few other people about the cookout and bonfire tonight. They were to get the steaks and hamburgers and hotdogs, and the others would bring everything else.

Brian went down to the beach to check on the fire pit they’d set up after they’d move in and Eliza went upstairs to shower and get dressed.

She pulled on a simple pair of jean shorts and a Batman sleeveless shirt. She decided shoes weren’t necessary, and left those alone. She dried her hair and ran her fingers through it. She put on both of her necklaces, her two rings, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her shirt was raised a bit from bending over, and she looked at her stomach.

She stuck it out, imagining herself pregnant again. She couldn’t help the thoughts; she’d thought about them since she’d been pregnant the first time. She wished it had been Brian’s child, but she knew he wasn’t ready for kids yet. Hell, he hadn’t even proposed. She knew it was too soon, considering the fact they’d only been “together” for a few months, but she could still wish.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Val and Katie coming into the room at that time. They hugged and chatted for a few minutes.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Val said.

“About what?”

“I want to go ahead and have my bachelorette party now,” she said excitedly. “I want to do it when I know you’re in town and you don’t have anything to do.”

“Jocelyn called this morning, and I don’t have to be back in New York until next Wednesday,” Eliza said, smiling.

“Great! That gives us eleven days to plan and execute!” Katie said happily.

Eliza heard a laugh from outside and then glasses clinking, and she smiled, knowing Brian was having a good time.

She and her two best friends spent another hour upstairs talking, planning, and laughing. It was when a small rock was thrown at the glass did they stop.

Val stood up and walked to the window while Eliza and Katie remained on the bed, laughing.

“Hey, Eliza, I think you should come see this,” Val said, cryptically.

Eliza stood up with a confused look on her face. She made her way to the window and looked out. The ocean was dark blue, fading into green near the shore. She saw Johnny, Jimmy, Matt and Zacky lined up behind Brian who stood in front of all of them in the sand. She opened the windows and leaned out. In front of Brian’s feet was a message written in the sand.

“Eliza will you marry me?”

She looked back to Brian with tears in her eyes. He was looking up at her, sunglasses sitting on top of his head and his hands in his pockets. She could see his smile from the second floor. She wasn’t sure how he’d known; they hadn’t even talked about getting married before now.

She felt Katie come up behind her and look out the window.

“Holy shit that is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” she said and Eliza smiled.

She watched as Brian’s arms went up as a question, and heard him yell. “Well? What do you say?”

Eliza couldn’t stop smiling. She pushed away from the window and ran all the way down the steps, almost tripping once. She pushed through the doors, onto the deck, and felt the sand fly underneath her feet. She saw that Brian had moved down to one knee while she was running, and more tears came to her eyes.

She stopped just short of him to see him holding the biggest diamond she’d ever seen. She vaguely remembered him asking her a few months ago if a huge diamond is what it took to get her into a relationship, and she’d replied no. She smiled and cried and laughed all at the same time.

“I hate you,” she whispered down to him.

“You love me,” he whispered back.

“I told you I didn’t like big diamonds.”

“Eliza, if I’m going to ask the most beautiful girl in the world to marry me, I’m going to do it right. You deserve nothing less from me.”

Fresh tears came to her eyes as she nodded her head up and down and Brian slipped the ring on her finger. He stood up and wiped away the tears on her face with his thumbs as he leaned in to kiss her on the lips. She heard the catcalls and the whistles around her, but she didn’t care. She touched the ring with her thumb as she deepened the kiss with Brian, smiling into his lips.



The grill was off. The table was littered with food, and the deck was a mess where they’d all sat for dinner. Beer cans lined the fencing around the deck, and even left a trail to the huge circle of friends sitting around the fire.

They’d pulled chairs, a log, towels, and the bench down from the deck for everyone to sit on. Three coolers full of beer were dispersed throughout the group. Eventually, a few more people had shown up and now there were twelve in all around the huge fire.

Laughs rang out across the oceanfront as the group sang songs together.

Eliza had her acoustic guitar in her hand and Brian’s arm around her.

“Come on, Eliza, play something,” Val said across the fire.

There were echoes of people wanting her to play, and she laughed. “Only if Katie helps me out with this one.”

“Oh, God, Eliza. We’re playing that one? It’s not even finished yet,” Katie said, but she was smiling.

“Please, Kate?”

“Wait, you guys have been making songs together?” Zacky asked.

“Yeah, when she came out to New York last month we had to do something so we started writing a song.”

“Let’s hear it!” Johnny hollered out.

Eliza straightened up from Brian’s side and pulled the guitar closer. She started strumming and Katie clapped her hands while whistling.

“My heart is sinking as I’m lifting up, up above the clouds away from you. And I can’t believe I’m leaving, oh I don’t kno-kno-know what I’m gonna do, but someday, I will find my way back to where your name is written in the sand,"

She strummed along as Katie sang with her, smiling as they looked out over the group of friends.

“’Cause I remember every sunset; I remember every word you said. We were never gonna say goodbye, yeah, singing la-la-ta-ta-ta. Tell me how to get back toback to summer paradise with you. And I’ll be there in a heartbeat,”

“Quick time, quick time boy,” Katie sing-songed.

“Oh-oh, I’ll be there in a heartbeat,” Eliza sang.

“Quick time, quick time boy,” Katie sang again.

"Oh-oh, my soul is broken; Streets are frozen, I can’t stop these feelings melting through. And I’d give away a thousand days, oh, just to have another one with you. Well, real life can wait. I’m crashing like waves, playing in the sand, holding your hand. Yeah yeah,” Eliza said, her voice carrying out. “‘Cause I remember every sunset, I remember every word you said; we were never gonna say goodbye, singing la-ta-ta-ta-ta. Tell me how to get back to, back to summer paradise with you, yeah. And I’ll be there in a heartbeat,”

“Quick time, quick time boy,” Katie repeated.

“Oh-oh, I’ll be there in a heartbeat,” Eliza said, smiling at Katie.

”Quick time, quick time boy,” Katie said, smiling back at her. She took a deep breath, and started the spoken part. “The promises that we made to about our friends, thinking about it: sunshine under trees, summer time on the beach, so fine we get closer under them trees, baby boy, you really got to me. It’s 3 o’clock, and we’re together and the time doesn’t leave. In a heartbeat boy, sex on the beach. Don’t stand your world, ask me I believe, loving you boy, is the best part of me.”

“Someday, I will find my way back to where your name is written in the sand, Cause I remember every sunset, I remember every word you said. We were never gonna say goodbye, Singing la-ta-ta-ta-ta. Tell me how to get back to, back to summer paradise with you. Yeah, and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.

I remember where we first kissed, how I didn’t wanna leave your lips, and how I’ve never ever felt so high. Singing La-la-ta-ta-ta, so tell me how to get back to back to summer paradise with you yeah, and I’ll be there in a heartbeat, I’ll be there in a heartbeat, Oh-oh. I’ll be there in a heartbeat. Yeah,”

Eliza finished the song and smiled at the people around who clapped. Brian leaned in to kiss her cheek and whispered “beautiful” before pulling away.

“It’s your turn,” she said, handing the acoustic guitar to him. He took it and tuned it a bit before strumming.

“What do we want to hear?” he asked.

“Just play, dude,” Jimmy said, finishing off his beer.

Brian started strumming a song, and people joined in, singing with him. They stayed like that for hours into the night, singing, drinking, and generally having a good time.

Eliza looked around her at all the smiling faces of her friends and leaned into Brian’s side. She watched Zacky take his turn at playing guitar. Brian kissed the top of her head and she tilted her head up to smile at him.

“I wish things could stay like this forever,” she whispered.

“They will,” he said.