All or Nothing

Eliza was drunk.

She hadn’t been this drunk in a long time. She had started with a few mixed drinks, opting out of beer, and then it had quickly escalated to shots. She’d lost count of how many she’d had after the twelfth one. Before, when she’d been drinking every day, she’d been able to go shot-for-shot with Jimmy, but tonight, when she hadn’t been drinking in almost a month, she should’ve known better to take the shots. It was entirely his fault, though. His…and hers, too.

It all started the second she woke up in Ireland. She realized that she and Brian were cuddling. She silently flipped out and scrambled from the bed immediately. She heard Brian groan in protest and roll towards where she had been. He shifted a bit in sleep to get more comfortable and she’d almost gotten back in bed with him. Almost.

Then, once the show was over in Ireland, they flew to London where the hotel was the same. They slept in the same bed and Eliza had woken up wrapped in his arms again. She’d gotten up just the same as she had before, but instead she’d gone straight to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready. She knew she was supposed to be spending time with him and working on things, but she couldn’t help by shy away. No matter what she did, an image of him kissing Kaicey popped up into his mind, and so did the visual of him walking away from her in New York.

Now, after the concert, she was completely trashed. They were staying in Hertfordshire over night and going to London for the awards in the morning. It was less than an hour drive, which left them plenty of time to enjoy English beer. The only thing is, Eliza skipped the beer and went straight for the liquor.

She wasn’t sure where anyone was, but she didn’t care. Jimmy had gone to the bathroom ten minutes ago, and he hadn’t come back. She didn’t see anyone else as she made rounds around the pub. It wasn’t overly big, but you could still lose someone with as many people that were packed into the cramped space.

Finishing off her drink, she realized she wanted to leave. She moved to the bar and paid her tab before moving into the cool air. They were two blocks from their hotel, and she could even see it. She pulled a cigarette from her pocket as she made her way down the street.

Stepping into her hotel room, she realized she was alone. Her shoulders drooping, she moved around the room, drunkenly. She tried as much as she could, but every few seconds her gaze would turn to the bed and she couldn’t help but remember how amazing it felt to have Brian’s arms around her.

Before she could think about what she was doing or talk herself out of it, she threw down the clothes she was holding and turned toward the door. She grabbed the card key and gripped the door handle, pulling it open quickly. She was in such a hurry, she almost ran into the body in front of her.

“Brian,” she breathed, looking up.

“Running away?” he asked with a smirk.

His eyes held a silent question and were rimmed in eyeliner that was a bit smudged. He leaned against the doorframe, signaling to Eliza he was drunk. She’d never been as turned on as she was right then. Perfect.

“No,” she said and looked up at him.

It was then he saw it: lust. He immediately straightened out and felt the tightening in his jeans. He breathed out a curse as he moved toward her. He captured her face in his hands and crashed his lips to hers as he pushed her back into the room.

She wasn’t sure who started ripping clothes off first, but before long, they were both naked on the bed. She was lying underneath him and her hand snaked from his neck down his chest, past his belly button to find the source of lust that was driving him. She felt him gasp into her mouth and she smiled into the kiss. She continued to jerk him for a few more seconds before his hand found hers and he pulled her hand away.

“You continue that, and I’ll be done before we get started,” he said to her confused face.

She understood then and shuddered a bit as he trailed kisses down her body from her neck, to the valley in between her breasts, down to her belly button. When she felt his fingers pry her legs apart, she immediately gripped the sheets to either side of her.

When his fingers entered her, she nearly came off the bed. She had already been dripping wet by the time she’d seen him in the door, but he was astounded at how turned on she really was. It was easy for him to fit two fingers and then three inside of her and he smiled. She was just as excited as he was, and he could tell by the way she reacted that she hadn’t been with anyone, either. That’s why he told her to stop, because he knew he wasn’t going to last long and he wanted her to get hers first.

He didn’t have to wait long, because as soon as his tongue touched the nub inside of her, a white-hot light spread through her eyes and her hips left the bed. She screamed out in pleasure and he had to put both arms under her thighs and his hands on her hips to hold her down.

“I don’t give a flying fuck how long you last,” she whispered and tugged on his hair.

His lips attached themselves to her collarbone as he guided himself into her. Her nails dug into his back as his teeth latched onto the piece of skin. As soon as he was buried completely in her, he groaned out loud, almost shooting his load immediately, but having enough willpower to go slow. He tried to keep his pace even, but she wouldn’t let him. He latched onto the skin again, leaving a huge bright red mark on her collarbone at the sensation of her nails on his back.

She let go of his back and grabbed onto his hips, pulling him further into him and he knew she wasn’t going to let him slow things down. Lifting himself up onto his hands, he rolled his hips and watched her head roll back. She immediately lifted her head, though, and he found himself rolling onto his back. She smiled from on top of him and then groaned as she rolled her own hips.

“Fuck, you’re fucking something,” Brian breathed. He didn’t mean it as an insult, and he knew she knew what he meant.

“…And his name is Synyster Gates,” Eliza replied as she reached a hand behind her.

Brian groaned out loud, feeling her fingers brush against his balls. Having had enough of her teasing, he brought her shoulders down to his, marking the other side of her collarbone and he lifted his hips off of the bed to meet hers. All she could do was stay motionless sitting straight up, her mouth wide open, as Brian’s hips went into hyper-drive coming off the bed to thrust into her.

His right hand left her breast to move in between their bodies and found her clit. Her body clenched as she felt his thumb in between them. That in turn, made him grit his teeth before moaning, loudly. She knew he was close and she leaned down over him, pressing her chest to his as she moved her hips up and down, riding him faster. His hands latched onto her ass, squeezing in pleasure and within a few minutes, he cried out her name.

They fell asleep literally minutes after, Eliza still on top of him, still buried deep inside of her.



When she woke up the day of the awards, she was completely naked. Not hungover, but feeling like crap, she climbed to her feet from the bed and had to wobble before catching her balance. She made her way to the bathroom and jumped in the shower.

When she came out of the shower, Brian was lying on the bed in a pair of boxers. Beside him were two cups of coffee. He smiled at her, wearing just his shirt, her hair piled on top of her head in a wet bun, and motioned for her to come sit next to him.

When she was in the shower and after she had woken up, she was able to think about what she’d done the night before. It had been one of the most incredible nights of her life, and the sex wasn’t bad, either. She tried to remind herself that she’d initiated the entire thing, wanting to go look for him before he stood at the door. Closing her eyes, she leaned back and let the water sluice over her body.

She sighed, vowing to just get through the night before she really thought about what all this meant for them. She pulled the curtain back and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her. She grabbed her comb and started running it through her hair, detangling the knots from the previous night. As much as she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Everything felt so right when she was with him, but she couldn’t trust him anymore. He’d already proven himself twice that he went against his word. She shook her head and looked at herself in the mirror for a few seconds. She went to step out of the bathroom, but a piece of fabric brushed against her foot. She bent down and found one of his shirts and slipped it over her head.

Brian was lying on the bed, a pair of boxers on, with his back resting against the headboard. The television was on and there was a can of beer in his hand. He set it on the bedside table and smiled at her. It was that smile that made her forget every bad thing that had happened. She smiled and jogged to the bed, jumping on it and landing half on top of him. He laughed as she repositioned herself with her back against his chest and her head underneath his chin.

“Nice shirt,” he said, his hand drawing shapes on her exposed thigh.

“Thanks, it looks so fucking good on me,” she said and smiled.

“Touché,” he said smiling back.



They spent most of the day in the bed until it was time to start getting ready for the awards. Val and Katie had come over to get ready but Brian had stuck his tongue out at them and said that they’d see Eliza when they were about to leave. Val, realizing what he was doing, stuck her middle finger up at him and pushed her way into the room with Katie right behind her. They brought some clothes with them and moved to the bed, deciding on an outfit. A minute later, Zacky and Jimmy came inside, but Brian just ignored them.

He walked into the bathroom and smiled at the sight in front of him. Eliza sat cross-legged on the sink, her eyes hidden behind her glasses with nothing but his t-shirt and underwear on. She was currently running a curling iron through her hair, producing flowing curls. Once she was done with a strand, she’d tease it a bit with a comb and then put it in a roller, locking it in place with a clip. When her whole head was done, she turned around and swung her legs to hang off of the sink.

“Can I do your hair?” she asked with a smile, looking at him.

“Uh, I don’t see why not,” he said, quirking an eyebrow.

She smiled, and jumped excitedly, reaching for the bottle of gel he’d brought with him. She smeared some onto her hands, making a weird face as she felt the goo on her hands. He bent his head down and smiled as he felt her hands running through his hair. Every once in a while she would tug softly on his locks and he felt a jerk, but he just smiled more. He heard her soft giggle and then a sudden flash appeared behind him. They both paused and he turned around to see Val’s body retreating to the room. He rolled his eyes and looked back at Eliza. Her arms were resting on her knees and she was leaning forward, smiling. He couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss her. She smiled as she opened her eyes.

Val had wanted to ask Eliza something but saw what they were doing and couldn’t resist taking a picture. Now, she was going back in there to ask Eliza what she was wearing, but she paused at the sight of both of them putting on eyeliner. It was a bit weird, seeing them do it at the same time, both with different tactics, yet at the same time, it was really funny. She couldn’t help snapping another picture, and smiled as she sauntered into the bathroom.

“You ready?” Eliza asked, looking in the mirror.

“Almost,” Val replied, smiling back.

“Awesome,” Eliza said and twirled herself around on the counter.

Her eyes were made up with dark makeup, and she’d gone heavy on the eyeliner and mascara. Her eyes looked incredibly hazel against the darkness of her eyes and the tan of her face. Her hair was curled loosely and teased a bunch in the back so that it was higher on top.

Val moved from the bathroom to the bedroom as Eliza did, gunning for the bag that was hung up on the other side of the room. She took it off of its place on the window and made a pit stop at Brian’s suitcase to pick out a few things. Heading back to the bathroom, she walked in and closed the door, shutting both of them in there.

A few minutes later, there were giggles coming from the bathroom.

“You guys don’t have fucking time for a quickie,” Jimmy hollered.

A faint “Fuck you!” could be heard coming from the bathroom and everyone laughed. When the laughter died down, a “Jealous!” came from inside and Jimmy flipped his middle finger up in the direction of the bathroom knowing that he couldn’t be seen.

A few minutes later, they emerged from the bathroom, completely dressed. Eliza moved to slip on a leather jacket with studs on the lapels and her heels with the spikes on the toes, while Brian slipped on a simple black pair of shoes. He moved in front of the mirror to do a last minute check of his hair and they all headed out of the room. Brian held his hand out for Eliza and as soon as she grabbed her clutch, she latched onto his hand and pulled the hotel door shut behind her.

The band was nominated for three awards: Best International Band, Best Album, and Best Live Band. They were excited, knowing there was a huge chance they could win at least one of those awards. Eliza could tell Brian was nervous because he kept readjusting his grip on her hand as they rode in the limo. A quick squeeze of her hand made his head turn towards her and he smiled.

Pulling up to the venue, Eliza was shocked at the amount of press and fans waiting outside. She tried to contain her facial expressions so she looked used to the amount of press and publicity, but she knew her eyes were huge. Sure, she’d seen huge amounts of people before, knowing Avenged was who they were, but it was still shocking to see the people hollering for Jimmy or Matt’s attention.

After a few press interviews, they made their way inside. Drinks were handed to them and Eliza was glad to taste the Jack in the clear cup. She held Brian’s hand as they were shown to their seats. They were still a few minutes early for the start of the show, so Eliza managed to finish her drink by then. Another one was brought to her as soon as she took the cup away from her mouth and she thanked the person as the lights went down.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to fucking Kerrang!”



The boys had won Best Album for their self-titled album. Eliza was ecstatic, considering they’d given her a shout-out on the stage for helping them out with producing the album. Now, they were standing around the red carpet, giving interviews and taking pictures. Val, Katie, and Eliza were standing to the side, letting the guys have their moment.

They were talking quietly about what they were going to do next when Brian moved closer to them to give an interview. The interviewer was asking him about winning the award and what it meant to him. Eliza could tell the interview was about over when she asked him what he was going to do now. His comment floored Eliza.

“Well, we’re going to fucking...have sex with lots of women and get drunk with Bullet,” he said, laughing, meaning Bullet for My Valentine.

Eliza froze in mid-laugh. She should’ve brushed it off as he was just saying that for their benefit, but the fact that he didn’t look in her direction as he finished the interview and moved on to hang out with Matthew Tuck, the lead singer of Bullet for My Valentine. They moved to the club area where the after party was being held and Eliza was still standing there, awestruck with Valary and Katie.

She excused herself and went to the bathroom so she wouldn’t have to face her friends while she composed herself. She locked herself into the first stall she could find and fanned the lapels of her jacket on her face. She made circles in the small cubicle and pulled her hair off of the nape of her neck. She should’ve known things wouldn’t have been different; she should’ve known he’d act the same.

“No,” she said out loud and stopped pacing.

Unlocking the door, she charged out of the bathroom, determined that she was going to prove Brian had changed and he wasn’t going to do anything stupid anymore. Hell, he was probably looking for her right now.

He wasn’t. In fact, none of her friends were. She looked around the huge lobby and didn’t see either Katie or Val or even any of the guys. She made her way into the after party lounge and made rounds. She stopped by the bar and grabbed another drink before continuing to move. She’d made a complete lap by the time she found Brian.

He was sitting next to Matt with two girls dancing in front of them. The girl in front of Matt had her ass in his face and his hands were on either side of it. Eliza rolled her eyes, but they landed on Brian. The girl in front of him was climbing onto his lap. She watched as his head rolled towards Matt and they both laughed, bumped fists, and Brian’s eyes went back to the blonde that was rolling her hips in front of his face. Eliza was going to go over and give the bitch a piece of her mind until she saw Brian’s hands grip the girl’s hips.

That’s when she felt her heart break.