Effortless

I can still remember that first take, where Alex’s fumbling, nervous fingers touched my face. We’d been close all day. We’d held hands and it had been an overall fun day. I’d never noticed how warm Alex was before or how he smelled really good. He was gentle in his touches; as if he was afraid I’d shatter under too much pressure. He leaned down, hand still shaking against my cheek, as he went to kiss me. The director called cut right before and then we had to start the scene all over again. It took several tries before the director finally left us alone and let us finish the scene. Alex leaned in, hand still and warm against my cheek as his breath hit my face. His hand slid down, thumb trailing slower and there he was, kissing me. And it was perfect. It was honestly the best kiss I had ever had.

From that moment forward, I was addicted to Alex Gaskarth’s kisses. In fact, I was so desperate for them, that during that night, I called Alex and told him to meet me outside his hotel. He showed, just like I asked, just like he always would. He was wearing just a pair of shorts and his Mickey hoodie he got from Disneyworld, his feet bare and his hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie.

“What’s up?” he asked. I shifted my weight nervously back and forth, from foot to foot. I looked up at him, started to say it and then stopped myself. “Tay, is everything alright?”

“No,” I said.

He stepped towards me, his hand automatically reaching out to comfort me. He was that kind of guy. If there was someone hurting, he fixed it. I’d known Alex for a while, so of course, I knew that. I’d known that the first time I’d laid my eyes on the guy. He would hug you, soothe you, patch you up and send you on your way with a lollipop and the warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach you get when someone takes care of you.

“What’s wrong?”

“See, I can’t stop thinking about you,” I began. “About kissing you, and touching you. About being near you. I can’t stop thinking about how fucking perfect it was when we kissed and how I never wanted that scene to end. But, I know you also are still getting over your break-up so I don’t want to be that girl, the rebound. But, goddamn it, Alex. You’re perfect and I can’t get you out of my mi-”

I was cut off by Alex’s lips crashing into mine, his hands gripping my hips as he pulled me close. I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and held him against me, standing up on my tiptoes. His lips were so soft, a detail that never ceased to shock me. His tongue swept along my lower lip, causing me to gasp. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, that sneaky bastard. One hand slipped from my hip up to my neck, fingers dragging teasingly the entire way.

He pulled away, panting as he smiled.

“I have not had a kiss like that in years,” he admitted, resting his forehead against mine.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a kiss like that,” I replied, playing with the soft underside of his hair.

“Come upstairs with me,” he mumbled. “I don’t want this to end here.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

He smiled.

“I just thought we could continue this,” he said before he demonstrated “this” as a kiss, soft and gentle, before pulling away. “But in a more comfortable setting.”

I nodded and he removed his hands, only to take my own. He led me up into the elevator where we remained apart, surprisingly. He had this adorable smile, one that made it hard for me to keep my hands off him. But his hand in mine was a good anchor.

I lost myself in Alex that night, laying with him in the softest of hotel beds. Our legs tangled together and he intertwined our hands while we kissed. It was perfect, and it seemed to both of us that it was going to stay that way. It was the beginning of something that neither of us could’ve prevented, nor could we have seen what it would do. We were too addicted to this, to us, to each other. There was no turning back. We were already in too deep.