Long Live
Chapter 9
Chapter 9
I yawned as I felt hott sun beam down on me. California wind blew right through the slider door that james had once again probably forgot to close. I sighed and rolled out of bed groggily walking over to them. I starred out over the beautiful blue ocean that now greeted me every morning. It had been 2 months since we moved back to LA. And oh how much I needed to escape the bipolar weather of nyc. As much as I miss it, LA is not much different just way warmer. I turned to the clock. 11Am. James was long gone by now, probably recording at raque records. I Sighed and walked to my blinking phone. 2 texts from Miranda and 3 from Camille. Shit I thought running to my closet and grabbing any pair of black jeans I could find. I then tore of my night shirt and wiggled into a loose tank top. My hair was a mess but luckly you can get away with it in cali. I fixed my face and grabbed my aviators and ran out the door soon to realize that james had left fox here.
" Fox!" I yelled as he came bounding around the cornor. " goo-boy baby cakes. Shh don't tell daddy I call you that. He'll think you less of a man." I said giggling as fox jumped around. I hooked his collar and leash up and we were out the door.
I walked to the cornor of sunset and boulavard where I saw two familiar faces sitting and chatting at the starbucks. I crossed quickly and sat next to them. I tied fox around my chair leg and greeted them.
" So how was it?" Camille said slyly. Camille had been sweet to me ever since I moved here with james. When her and logan got back together I got to hang out with her more, and we bonded like sisters. She was highly dramtic but it took only a few weeks of getting used too.
" How do you always think it is? I could barely walk here. My hips are fucking killing me." I said sipping my strawberries and cream frappachino. Miranda giggled as she bit down on her biscatti. She was kendalls. And man did he own up to overprotective yet romantic boyfriend. I met her as well when I got here. She was extremely sweet and had a motherly tone to her. And that was something I adored about her. To have someone there to fall back on when you need it. Kendall loved that too. Rumor has it they role play ' House' a lot. She works as a comic book illastrater for Marvel on the East coast. She'd send them her stuff and they'd publish it that way she didn't have to leave Cali. One thing about miranda was she always had a pad and pencil with her.
" Well maybe he shouldn't attempt breaking the headboard everynight. Like really, does he think hes from fucking twilight?" Miranda stated smirking. I shrugged crossing my arms and taking in the sunrays.
" Probably. Its like hes been going out of his way to impress me lately though." I said with a devilish smile.
" You don' think hes gonna do...it, do you?" Camille exclaimed. I Raised my eyebrows.
"Nahh, Its only been like what? 4 months?" I said unsurely. What if he did you know... pop the question. I suddenly felt nauseous and something was not sitting right with me. But I brushed it off as nerves smiling to the now very curious girls.
" You okay hun?" Miranda asked concerned. " You look pale."
" im fine, no worries." I said shaking my head.
" are you sure? I don't think you look fine. You want us to drive you home?" I bit my lip and shook my head again. But that made it so bad that I had to get up and run to garbage pale. I then proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach and whatever else was in there. Miranda was at my side in an instant rubbing my back.
" Noles you might have the stomach flu!" said Camille calling over to us. I picked my head up sighed.
" Nolita, whens the last time you had...you know." I looked up at miranda who was starring at me intently. How the hell was I supposed to know? I was on birth control. That shits supposed to stop it and make it come like 3 times a year right?
" uh I don't know. I don't pay attention to that crap." I said rubbing my eyes. Camille was by my left side with fox who was cuddling into her.
" Well maybe you should. What have you been taking?" Mirandas voice was overly concerned.
" The birth cotrol um vitamins the antibiotics from the doctor-" Miranda sighed and sunk down next to me. " What?"
" Antibiotics stop the birth control Nolita-Don't you read labels?" I opened my mouth gaping a bit.
" Are you trying to say im like pregnant or some shit? Because I think id know if-" But without further notice I stood up once more upchucking in the garbage. You have got to be fucking kidding me. I thought hunched over.
Camille had gone home hoping that logan was back , while miranda dragged my ass to a Walgreens. I starred blankly at the wall of pregnancy tests and back to miranda.
" Seriously? Like how many fucking types are there?" I said pissily. Miranda starred daggers at me while she picked up the most generic one.
We arrived back at her and Kendalls place and I reluctantly took out the box and starred at it.
" Noles you have too. Seriously." I shook my head like a 5 year old.
" But. I don't wanna." She sighed and crossed her arms.
" Pee on the fucking stick Nolita." I groaned and hopped off the chair. I emerged from the bathroom 5 minutes later. She turned in her chair at the counter and smiled to me. " So?" I didn't look up just at the little pink devil plus sign.
" You don't think when they say positive it means ' im positive your not pregnant' right?" Miranda covered her mouth with a gasp. I looked up and back down. " Didn't think so. Fuck."
xxxx
It was 6pm and boys were still not home. I got in my car with fox in the passanger side and peeled out of the driveway. It was now or never and id rather we have it out in public. How the fuck could this have happened? Ugh. I wish that man was less sexually appealing so I wouldn't jump his bones everynight. Damn it. And before I knew it I was in front of raque records. My hands were glued to the steering wheel as a million and one thoughts scorched my brain.
What if he doesn't want it? What if I don't want it? Should I get an abortion? No I would never. What about adoption? I wonder if its a girl, would he want it more if it was boy? My thoughts were becoming the death of me and eating out my nervous system. I parked and got out.
I stepped out of the elevator and heard the boys in the studio and gustavo hysterically freaking out over there off beat tempo. I then heard kelly calm him but then I heard kendall backsass and knew it was now or never. I threw open the door and everyones eyes landed on me. I waved awkwardly and james smile grew as he saw me and fox ran into the booth.
" NO DOGS! NO NOT YOU DOGS THAT DOG THE ONE THAT PRETTY BOY IS HOLDING!" Kelly shushed the now even redder gustavo and shot me a look. I shrugged.
" I need to borrow james." Gustavo looked at me with daggers.
" NO. HES MINE FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT. THIS ALBUM IS DUE IN 3 MONTHS. AND THE DAWGS ARE ATTACHED TO THE DOG HOUSE TILL ITS DONE!" Gustavo screamed towering over me. Something suddenly clicked inside me and I felt a surge of rage.
" LET ME GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. I AM A LADY. AND YOU WILL SPEAK TO ME WITH PROPER RESPECT. NOW IM TAKING JAMES FOR 5 FUCKING MINUTES OUTSIDE. AND IF YOU DARE MAKE ONE NOISE. I WILL RIP THAT GOTEA RIGHT OFF YOUR EFFING FACE. GET IT?" everyones jaw dropped to the floor. Kellys books fell from her hand and each boys head phones fell to the floor, as gustavo shut his mouth and put up his hands in defeat. I took a breath and grabbed james and dragged him and fox outside. The boys made to follow but I put my finger up.
" No, this is private." I said slowly.
" ha ha james is in trouble." I smirked at kendalls mocking but simply pulled james into gustavos office shutting the door.
He picked up fox and kissed him.
" Hows daddys good boy? How is he MWAH." I smiled at his cooing over the little puppy. He looked at me questioningly. " So what couldn't wait till tomorrow?" I sighed .
" Babe maybe you should sit." He snorted
" I think I can handle what ever you throw at me. Im a hockey player from minnesota. Ive taken some hard hits-"
" Im late." He scrunched his face in confusion. Damn him.
" So then leave...?" He said laughing.
" No james I mean im...LATE late." He looked at me funnily till I saw the color drain from his face. Fox jumped down and james grabbed hold of a chair for support.
" As in late...late?" He said motioning to my stomach.
" Yeah. James...im pregnant." If there was any color left before it was now washed away and he slowly sunk into the chair hed been using for upheld. His eyes never left mine. Until they landed on my stomach. He visbly gulped and leaned back running his hands through his hair.
" Shit." He said suddenly. " Fucking. Shit." I sighed. " What do we do?"
" I don't know! You tell me!" I said falling into the chair opposite of him. He leaned forward and fidgetted a bit. Even though he was nervous and scared as hell, he looked so beautifully distraught I couldn't help but smile.
" We can't tell anyone." he said standing up and pacing. I snorted.
" How do you suppose its going to go over when I gain 30 pounds in 9 months?" He stopped and starred at me.
" Wear baggy clothes?" He stated.
" James this is serious. This is a baby. This isn't a dog your hiding from your parents. This is a living breathing human being we are now responsible for." I said standing up and facing him. He paused inches from me and his eyes were coated in what I think were tears of fear or determination or both.
" We can do this...Together." he said softly taking his hands and pulling my face to his. " Our secret. Til were ready okay?" I nodded. For some reason. Dought evaded my mind and nothing but hope sank into my stomach that moment.
I yawned as I felt hott sun beam down on me. California wind blew right through the slider door that james had once again probably forgot to close. I sighed and rolled out of bed groggily walking over to them. I starred out over the beautiful blue ocean that now greeted me every morning. It had been 2 months since we moved back to LA. And oh how much I needed to escape the bipolar weather of nyc. As much as I miss it, LA is not much different just way warmer. I turned to the clock. 11Am. James was long gone by now, probably recording at raque records. I Sighed and walked to my blinking phone. 2 texts from Miranda and 3 from Camille. Shit I thought running to my closet and grabbing any pair of black jeans I could find. I then tore of my night shirt and wiggled into a loose tank top. My hair was a mess but luckly you can get away with it in cali. I fixed my face and grabbed my aviators and ran out the door soon to realize that james had left fox here.
" Fox!" I yelled as he came bounding around the cornor. " goo-boy baby cakes. Shh don't tell daddy I call you that. He'll think you less of a man." I said giggling as fox jumped around. I hooked his collar and leash up and we were out the door.
I walked to the cornor of sunset and boulavard where I saw two familiar faces sitting and chatting at the starbucks. I crossed quickly and sat next to them. I tied fox around my chair leg and greeted them.
" So how was it?" Camille said slyly. Camille had been sweet to me ever since I moved here with james. When her and logan got back together I got to hang out with her more, and we bonded like sisters. She was highly dramtic but it took only a few weeks of getting used too.
" How do you always think it is? I could barely walk here. My hips are fucking killing me." I said sipping my strawberries and cream frappachino. Miranda giggled as she bit down on her biscatti. She was kendalls. And man did he own up to overprotective yet romantic boyfriend. I met her as well when I got here. She was extremely sweet and had a motherly tone to her. And that was something I adored about her. To have someone there to fall back on when you need it. Kendall loved that too. Rumor has it they role play ' House' a lot. She works as a comic book illastrater for Marvel on the East coast. She'd send them her stuff and they'd publish it that way she didn't have to leave Cali. One thing about miranda was she always had a pad and pencil with her.
" Well maybe he shouldn't attempt breaking the headboard everynight. Like really, does he think hes from fucking twilight?" Miranda stated smirking. I shrugged crossing my arms and taking in the sunrays.
" Probably. Its like hes been going out of his way to impress me lately though." I said with a devilish smile.
" You don' think hes gonna do...it, do you?" Camille exclaimed. I Raised my eyebrows.
"Nahh, Its only been like what? 4 months?" I said unsurely. What if he did you know... pop the question. I suddenly felt nauseous and something was not sitting right with me. But I brushed it off as nerves smiling to the now very curious girls.
" You okay hun?" Miranda asked concerned. " You look pale."
" im fine, no worries." I said shaking my head.
" are you sure? I don't think you look fine. You want us to drive you home?" I bit my lip and shook my head again. But that made it so bad that I had to get up and run to garbage pale. I then proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach and whatever else was in there. Miranda was at my side in an instant rubbing my back.
" Noles you might have the stomach flu!" said Camille calling over to us. I picked my head up sighed.
" Nolita, whens the last time you had...you know." I looked up at miranda who was starring at me intently. How the hell was I supposed to know? I was on birth control. That shits supposed to stop it and make it come like 3 times a year right?
" uh I don't know. I don't pay attention to that crap." I said rubbing my eyes. Camille was by my left side with fox who was cuddling into her.
" Well maybe you should. What have you been taking?" Mirandas voice was overly concerned.
" The birth cotrol um vitamins the antibiotics from the doctor-" Miranda sighed and sunk down next to me. " What?"
" Antibiotics stop the birth control Nolita-Don't you read labels?" I opened my mouth gaping a bit.
" Are you trying to say im like pregnant or some shit? Because I think id know if-" But without further notice I stood up once more upchucking in the garbage. You have got to be fucking kidding me. I thought hunched over.
Camille had gone home hoping that logan was back , while miranda dragged my ass to a Walgreens. I starred blankly at the wall of pregnancy tests and back to miranda.
" Seriously? Like how many fucking types are there?" I said pissily. Miranda starred daggers at me while she picked up the most generic one.
We arrived back at her and Kendalls place and I reluctantly took out the box and starred at it.
" Noles you have too. Seriously." I shook my head like a 5 year old.
" But. I don't wanna." She sighed and crossed her arms.
" Pee on the fucking stick Nolita." I groaned and hopped off the chair. I emerged from the bathroom 5 minutes later. She turned in her chair at the counter and smiled to me. " So?" I didn't look up just at the little pink devil plus sign.
" You don't think when they say positive it means ' im positive your not pregnant' right?" Miranda covered her mouth with a gasp. I looked up and back down. " Didn't think so. Fuck."
xxxx
It was 6pm and boys were still not home. I got in my car with fox in the passanger side and peeled out of the driveway. It was now or never and id rather we have it out in public. How the fuck could this have happened? Ugh. I wish that man was less sexually appealing so I wouldn't jump his bones everynight. Damn it. And before I knew it I was in front of raque records. My hands were glued to the steering wheel as a million and one thoughts scorched my brain.
What if he doesn't want it? What if I don't want it? Should I get an abortion? No I would never. What about adoption? I wonder if its a girl, would he want it more if it was boy? My thoughts were becoming the death of me and eating out my nervous system. I parked and got out.
I stepped out of the elevator and heard the boys in the studio and gustavo hysterically freaking out over there off beat tempo. I then heard kelly calm him but then I heard kendall backsass and knew it was now or never. I threw open the door and everyones eyes landed on me. I waved awkwardly and james smile grew as he saw me and fox ran into the booth.
" NO DOGS! NO NOT YOU DOGS THAT DOG THE ONE THAT PRETTY BOY IS HOLDING!" Kelly shushed the now even redder gustavo and shot me a look. I shrugged.
" I need to borrow james." Gustavo looked at me with daggers.
" NO. HES MINE FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT. THIS ALBUM IS DUE IN 3 MONTHS. AND THE DAWGS ARE ATTACHED TO THE DOG HOUSE TILL ITS DONE!" Gustavo screamed towering over me. Something suddenly clicked inside me and I felt a surge of rage.
" LET ME GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. I AM A LADY. AND YOU WILL SPEAK TO ME WITH PROPER RESPECT. NOW IM TAKING JAMES FOR 5 FUCKING MINUTES OUTSIDE. AND IF YOU DARE MAKE ONE NOISE. I WILL RIP THAT GOTEA RIGHT OFF YOUR EFFING FACE. GET IT?" everyones jaw dropped to the floor. Kellys books fell from her hand and each boys head phones fell to the floor, as gustavo shut his mouth and put up his hands in defeat. I took a breath and grabbed james and dragged him and fox outside. The boys made to follow but I put my finger up.
" No, this is private." I said slowly.
" ha ha james is in trouble." I smirked at kendalls mocking but simply pulled james into gustavos office shutting the door.
He picked up fox and kissed him.
" Hows daddys good boy? How is he MWAH." I smiled at his cooing over the little puppy. He looked at me questioningly. " So what couldn't wait till tomorrow?" I sighed .
" Babe maybe you should sit." He snorted
" I think I can handle what ever you throw at me. Im a hockey player from minnesota. Ive taken some hard hits-"
" Im late." He scrunched his face in confusion. Damn him.
" So then leave...?" He said laughing.
" No james I mean im...LATE late." He looked at me funnily till I saw the color drain from his face. Fox jumped down and james grabbed hold of a chair for support.
" As in late...late?" He said motioning to my stomach.
" Yeah. James...im pregnant." If there was any color left before it was now washed away and he slowly sunk into the chair hed been using for upheld. His eyes never left mine. Until they landed on my stomach. He visbly gulped and leaned back running his hands through his hair.
" Shit." He said suddenly. " Fucking. Shit." I sighed. " What do we do?"
" I don't know! You tell me!" I said falling into the chair opposite of him. He leaned forward and fidgetted a bit. Even though he was nervous and scared as hell, he looked so beautifully distraught I couldn't help but smile.
" We can't tell anyone." he said standing up and pacing. I snorted.
" How do you suppose its going to go over when I gain 30 pounds in 9 months?" He stopped and starred at me.
" Wear baggy clothes?" He stated.
" James this is serious. This is a baby. This isn't a dog your hiding from your parents. This is a living breathing human being we are now responsible for." I said standing up and facing him. He paused inches from me and his eyes were coated in what I think were tears of fear or determination or both.
" We can do this...Together." he said softly taking his hands and pulling my face to his. " Our secret. Til were ready okay?" I nodded. For some reason. Dought evaded my mind and nothing but hope sank into my stomach that moment.