Amor Vicissitudine

"I'll be right back." Tony excused himself from the room and went to who knows where. I just nodded and looked back at Jaime who'd woken from his state of being passed out and was now fully alert and aware that I was in the room.

He looked no better than last night, other than not having the ventilator there was absolutely no difference in his appearance. His breathing was ragged and barely there but, he was breathing on his own.

I squeezed his hand softly and scooted closer to him, asking a question I'd held too long,

"Jaime, what happened?" My eyes watched his expression as my voice slipped slowly through the air to him, "Why did you come to Tony's apartment?"

He sighed, as best he could and looked at me, trying to think of the words to say. He licked his cracked and dry lips before speaking to me,

"I-I honestly don't know." His voice cracked as he tried talking. "To say sorry I guess? But-" He cleared his throat and swallowed, hard, "When I got there someone started talking to me and then they pulled a gun out. I hit the guy with a pole but I guess he was faster than me." He coughed softly and looked at me with a bout of sorrow in his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Ci. I'd never mean to scare you like this."

I squeezed his hand reassuringly and brought it up to my lips, kissing it softly,

"It's okay Jaime. It's not your fault." He squeezed my hand back and we sat there for a good fifteen minutes, waiting for Tony to come back from wherever he had gone, before one of us said something,

"Any idea where Tony went?" Jaime was the first to speak. At first I was going to shake my head but then a rumble of my stomach told me that he probably went to go get food,

"He's probably eating." Just after I said that someone opened the door and came inside.

I turned to see it was Tony and let out a soft sigh. He came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it softly,

"Hey Tone." Jaime seemed so excited to see Tony standing there, "How was the cafeteria food?" Jaime tried making small talk so he didn't have to deal with trying to apologize for giving him a black eye,

"You know- Hospital food." He shrugged and pulled a chair up next to Jaime's bed, "So, how're you feeling?" A stupid question, he knew, but he had to ask it. We all wanted Jaime to be back to one hundred percent again.

Jaime nodded and looked at him, "I-I'm doing okay. Could be worse, could be better. But I'm fine." He gave us his signature half smile.

To see that look on his face just made me feel so much better about his situation. I smiled back to him and squeezed his hand again. I almost didn't want to have to break his heart by telling him what we'd done.

Maybe if I wait until I take the test and it's actually positive I can tell him. If I did that he'd kill Tony though.

I let out a shaky sigh and looked at Tony who nodded, seeming to know what I was thinking,

"H-hey, Hime. I was uh- I was wondering what would you do if I told you I might be pregnant?"

"You WHAT?!" He snapped at me, his heart monitor blipping insanely I stood up and put my hands on his shoulders, hoping that would keep him down,

"Jaime! I said MIGHT! You have to fucking listen to me!" I pushed him down onto the bed and he just kind of stared at me, like he was amazed at my strength, "It's so complicated and I hope to God I'm not but yes, I might be pregnant."

His head whipped from looking at me to glaring at Tony,

"You fucking SHIT!" Before I could do anything he lunged at Tony, knocking me out of the way.

He grabbed Tony by his shirt and pulled him so he was inched from Jaime's face.

The look on Tony's face was of sheer terror as Jaime held him there,

"Jaime! JAIME STOP!" I dug my nails into his arm, trying to keep him from hurting Tony.

Before anything could get further a group of doctors and nurses came into the room,

"What happened?!" The nurses and doctor were frantic as they tried to get Jaime to lie back down,

"I-I told him I might be pregnant and he-he just freaked out." Truth be told I was starting to freak out as well,

"Se conseguir la cogida vuelta aquí pedazo de mierda! No me hace joder contigo!" Oh no. He's pissed off,

"Jaime! Cállate! Si es Estoy jodido embarazo puedes lidiar con eso!" The doctors and nurses seemed dumbfounded as Jaime and I had a little exchange in Spanish, "Si no puedes lidiar con ello, entonces yo como Entonces tampoco seré tu hermana más!"

Jaime himself laid back on the bed and just kind of stared at me, his eyes looking dazed and confused.

He shook his head, not wanting to believe what I'd just told him,

"Yes, Jaime. Now please, try not to hurt yourself anymore than you have. I'd hate for anything to happen to my former brother." What am I saying? No I can't do this to Jaime. I just can't.

As I stood in the door, staring at Jaime I felt tears threaten my eyes and before any could fall I bolted out of the hospital.

I didn't know where I was running, I just knew I had to get away from that hospital. I ran for what felt like forever before I heard someone catch up to me. As they got closer I slowed down, it was a familiar stride; long and slow, like something I'd heard before.

Then I felt the arms wrap around my shoulders and hug me tightly.

The familiar feeling and scent washed over me and I broke down. I let out a soft gasp and a short sob before my knees gave way into the man behind me. Tony's arms held me up as they squeezed me tightly, not letting me fall to the ground as I sobbed.

I'd just told my only family I wasn't going to be his family anymore.

I turned around and continued to cry into Tony's chest.

What the fuck have I done?

"Shhh." Tony hushed me quietly, petting my back softly, "It's okay."

"It's okay?! Nothing is fucking okay Tony!" I pushed him away from me, suddenly filled with anger, "I just fucking told the last peace of family that I fucking have that I don;t want to be his fucking family anymore. NOTHING is fucking okay!" I shouted at him, tears still streaming down my face in the middle of the sidewalk in the middle of the city, where everyone could see us and hear what I was saying. I didn't fucking care, "No puedo hacer eso!"

"I know, but why are you so mad about this?! You couldn't stop any of this from happening! If it's anyone's fault it's mine! Okay?! It's fucking mine! And I have fucking scars to prove it!" Then Tony lifted his shirt to reveal a huge black mark on his hip, "If I hadn't met you we wouldn't be here." His voice lowered in volume and I could see him starting to tear up.

It was all I could do to grab him again, tightly, and hold him. He let his arms slip around me and we just stood there.

The walk back to the car was cold and quiet, Tony had his arm wrapped over my shoulders and I had mine on his waist.

Driving home had a little more tension than I would have liked, in the worst possible way and, let's just say, I slept on Tony's couch that night.

I wasn't able to look at him the same. Not after seeing that burn.