Status: Updates will be SLOW but she's ACTIVE

Amor Vicissitudine

Viginti Novem

A month or so has passed since the incident with Jaime and- as expected- I've become sick.

It isn't the normal sick though, I throw up whenever I eat and everyday it's what wakes me up. Right now I'm laying in bed in Tony's apartment, trying not to throw my guts up all over the floor.

Tony is in the shower getting ready to go work. I listened as I heard the shower running and when it stopped I heard Tony walking from the bathroom into the bedroom. His steps were long and slow, padding along the carpeted floor. He opened the door and I looked up at him.

He had a dark blue towel wrapped around his waist and he was carrying his clothes to the hamper we kept in the room for dirty clothes. After tossing them into the bamboo box next to my dresser Tony started to rummage through the pile of clean clothes he'd had yet to hang in the closet.

After finding a dark shirt and his favorite, torn jeans he got dressed and came over to me, laying down next to me and placing a kiss on my lips. He knew just as much as I did what this sickness really was.

Morning Sickness,

"I'll be back in a few hours. You're going to the doctor right? To make sure?" His eyes looked so full of concern as he held me.

I nodded to him, my body feeling too weak to even stand up. Maybe I can get Court to drive me to the hospital,

"Okay. Call me if you need anything, okay?" He kissed my forehead and stood up, "I'll only be gone for a few hours. Tell me when I get home, please?" He gave me a small half smile and I returned it to him,

"I will, baby." My voice was soft and raspy from having thrown up a few too many times.

And with that Tony was gone. Off to work at a job I knew he didn't exactly like but it got him money to help pay for all the shit we'd need to take care of me and this baby.

I let out a weak sigh as I heard the front door close. I threw the blanket off me and sat up, crossing my legs on the carpeted floor and letting my hands rest in the pit between my heels and my crotch.

I sniffed and rubbed my face, if I was going to go to the doctor's I needed to freshen up before I went.

I grabbed the lip of the window above our bed and pulled myself to my feet before wobbling for a moment and walking tot he bathroom.

I peeled my pajamas from my body and turned the water on, putting my hand under the stream of water. It was still warm since Tony had just used it and it felt nice. I stepped inside and let the stream flow over my body, letting it wash away the pain that covered my body. It felt good to stand there.

Then the water started to get cold and I realized that I'd been standing in the shower for the past thirty minutes.

I let out a soft sigh and turned the water off, stepping out into the steamy air and wiping the condensation off of the mirror.

Once I had a good streak of the water wiped away from the glass I could see myself staring intently back at myself. My skin was pale and my eyes were red and irritated from too many sleepless nights. I looked every bit sick but I knew I wasn't.

It was this fucking thing inside of me.

I let out a sigh and opened the door, knowing no one was home but me and that the front door was locked tight and plugged my hair drier in.

I dried my hair and walked into Tony and my room to get dressed. When I got to our dresser I noticed there was a small note on it next to my jewelry box.

I picked up the small slip of paper and read Tony's chicken scratch carefully,

'No matter what happens, just know I'll be here until the end. :)'

I smiled at the note and walked over to the board where we tacked everything up and put a small thumbtack into the top, pinning it to the corkboard.

My smile grew as I turned back to the dresser and started pulling clothes out. Today was hot so I decided on a floral print, strapless dress that had a cute, hot pink belt on it and a pair of black ballet flats.

I closed our door and checked my reflection in the mirror before walking to the vanity I had brought from Jaime's house to start doing my make up.

I wore a soft brown eye shadow with a light pink lip gloss. Just enough of color to make me look a little bit more alive than I had been looking previously.

I let out a soft sigh and grabbed my cell phone from where it sat on the floor next to our bed, calling my best friend, and first room mate,Taylor.

I'd known Taylor for a god chunk of my life and if she wasn't hanging out with her boyfriend, Embry she was at her mom's shitty house in El Cajon. Or she was driving around with me in her crappy green convertible that she'd had since she was sixteen.

But hey, it was better than most girls that lived out here.

The phone rang twice before she answered, sounding tired and hung over as fuck,

"What do you want?" She was such a sweety,

"Hey, Tay I was wondering if you could give me a ride somewhere." I was being vague, as I always was with her.

Tell too much and the whole world might end up knowing,

"Yeah, where to?"

"I have the directions here just get to Tony's place as fast as you can, please, I'm kind of late for an appointment." She agreed quietly and hung up.

After that I slipped my phone into my white hobo bag and sat down on the couch in the living room.

It was fifteen minutes before Taylor arrived outside, honking her horn loudly. I let out a nervous sigh and walked out of the apartment and down to the car.

When I reached the little, green convertible I hopped into the passenger's seat, not bothering to even open the door to do so,

"So, Ci, what's the appointment you're late for?" Taylor started to drive away from Tony's apartment and pulled up to a stop sign before I got the guts to really tell her,

"I-I might be pregnant and I'm going to get a test done." She nodded and turned away from the way I had written down for her to go to, "Where are you going? It's the other direction!"

"Not the one you wanna go to." She knew a better place?

Not five minutes- and too many stops and turns to remember where I was- later and we pulled up to Planned Parenthood,

"What the fuck?" I snapped at Taylor, "I'm not a teenager! I don't need to go here!" Taylor came around to my side of the car and pulled me out by my arm,

"Oh yes, you do need to go here sweety." She dragged me inside and made me sign the papers that the front desk lady gave her.

I filled them out like they were supposed to be and waited an agonizing twenty minutes before someone came out,

"Sicilia Gomez?" Since the incident at the hospital I'd stopped using Jaime's last name.

I didn;t need a reminder of that.

I raised my hand and stood up, following the nurse into one of the back rooms.

I lay back on the bed and did as they told before the nurse left with everything she needed to run the tests that would change my life in the worst possible way.

The wait till the doctor came in with my results was agonizing... So much so that I actually got my phone out and called Jaime...

I needed to hear his voice. Even if I didn't want to see him I could still hear him without that awkward feeling,

"Hello?" I almost couldn't answer him,

"Hey, Hime. Guess what I'm doing." There was no answer as I sat there in silence, "I'm getting the test. So we'll know for sure."

"Okay, good. Ci-" Before Jaime could finish his statement the door opened and the doctor came in,

"Well miss Gomez, I'd like to congratulate you. You're pregnant."

At that my phone slipped through my fingers, hitting my lap and falling to the ground.

Oh no. No no no no no no no no.

I shook my head slowly, not wanting to believe him, but quickly stopped and stepped down off the bed to retrieve my cell phone,

"Sorry, Jaime I'll have to call you back." I hung up on Jaime and quickly dialed Tony, I knew he wouldn't be able to answer the phone but I could at least leave a message,

"Hey, Ci, whatcha got?" He picked up the phone, good,

"Tony, sit down for a second." I heard him hop up on the counter of the Guitar Center he worked at,

"What's up?" I sighed and looked at my feet,

"I'm pregnant." And he froze.

Oh boy.
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ooh two updates in one night :*