Amor Vicissitudine

The ride home from the hospital was peacefully quiet. We had the radio playing so softly, you had to hold your breath to be able to hear it. I held the hand of the love of my life the whole way home.

Although the labor was incredibly long, we were able to leave with our beautiful new baby girl the next night. I’ve never been more excited to just sit at home with Sicily. With Alexa. My family. We truly were a family now, we’d be getting married some time within the next year or so. I can’t wait to see her walk down the aisle.

God, she’s so beautiful. She hadn’t gotten a chance to shower since she had Alexa, no less than 36 hours before we were driving home. Even though her hair still stuck to her forehead, and she smelled like she just ran a marathon, she was still the most beautiful thing my eyes had ever laid on, next to our baby girl Alexa. Honestly, I couldn’t decide which one overwhelmed me more, so I’d just go with both.

It’s weird to be a dad, to be completely honest. Even though we hadn’t had a chance to get to bed with her home yet, I still hadn’t slept in three days or so. The wait for Alexa was excruciating and nerve wracking. I was so stressed out, I didn’t know what to do with myself other than be with her and tell her it’s gonna be okay, no matter how tight she squeezed my hand- which was really fucking tight,by the way.

I’m so excited for what the future holds with my two favorite girls.

Thinking about everything that had happened in the last little while, I failed to notice Sicily and Alexa sound asleep in the passenger seats of my truck. I’d be tired too, I don’t know how she did it. I’m so glad I’m a dude..

At a stop light, I watched Sicily wake up, ask me “Are we home yet?” and fall right back asleep in a matter of seconds. I quietly laughed and whispered, “We’re almost there, baby girl,” sure not to wake her up any more, or risk waking up the baby.

When we got home, I shook Sicily ever so gently, told her we’re home, and took Alexa inside. Once she was in her crib asleep, I went back out for Ci. She was still asleep, so I wrapped her arms around my neck, and lifted under her knees and back, and carried her into the house, up the stairs, and into bed. She was barely conscious, so she knew to loosen her grip on me when I set her down. Lack of sleep catching up with me, I took off my shoes & hat, changed out of my jeans and jacket, checked on Alexa one more time, and laid down to rest in attempt to get a little bit of sleep back before parenthood attacks me at full speed. Hell, maybe we’ll be lucky, she hasn't cried yet since she was born. Maybe it won’t take her long to sleep through the night.

Who am I kidding? Tony Perry, you’re a father now. No more what ifs. Expect this baby girl to keep you up all night every night for the next couple years or so.

What do I do about the band? We were supposed to tour soon… She needs me. They need me too.. Maybe she’ll be okay. I’ll call her every night and remind her how much I love her. I’ll make sure she knows she’s everything I want and more in my life, and I’ll never let her go. Ever.