If You Dare

I hadnt spent much time out of the room. Just my usual place right now. Only people had been trying to make me eat recently. I knew I had lost a unheathy amount of weight from doing nothing just watching her.

I still declined, I didnt care. They would always sigh

and walk right back out. I was stubborn when I wanted to be. It had been a day since Alex was found. I didnt leave the room to see if she was alright and what not......

I was asleep at the time,dried tears on my face. I could be such a girl sometimes, but this is my little sister we're talking about. She's everything to me. Anyways, I was asleep and I was rudely awakened by a loud beeping sound, I rubbed my eyes then reality set in and I realized what it was. I looked up my eyes wide, she wasnt waking up.

A few doctors or people or whatever piled in, including Steven and Alex's dad. I had newly formed tears running down my cheeks as my heart pounded in my throat. "No" I whispered shaking my head as Steven pulled me away. I kept shaking my head and pawing at my eyes. I had to be dreaming, this was a nightmare this wasnt reality!! I couldnt be losing her. I removed my hands to see them trying all they could to bring her back. I let out a sob as my knees slightly gave out from under my. Like bags of weights had been dropped onto my shoulders.

Steven caught me considering he was still holding me back.covered my face, crying harder. The people filed out and I broke from Steven's grip and ran over to the lifeless body weakly. I cried "no..no please, y-your playing a trick on me Ella, please wake up!" I constantly wiped my eyes, pleading for her to wake up...to open her eyes and say 'got yeah!' then laugh brightly...It never happened "Ella" I whispered,my lip quivering.

Pulling myself onto the bed then hugging the limp and cold body to my chest. I hugged her tightly, crying harder. I laid my head on hers "You cant be gone" I whispered "You need to wake up...Please" Desperation in my voice. I didnt want to lose her..

"Mas-" Steven was cut off by Alex's dad. "Steven, let him mourn come on" He clasped Steven on the back,a few tears had slipped from his own eyes as he walked out. I didnt pay attention to them.

I stroked her hair softly like I used to as I sobbed. I didnt get to tell her how much she ment to me, I didnt get to explain anything....to tell her I loved her again...I looked down at her, running my fingers down her face softly, She was gone in seconds. My fingers travled to my necklace that was still around her neck. I blinked a couple times as tears rolled down my cheeks still. I left the necklace on her,I gave it to her, I wanted her to have it. No matter where she was.
~~~

People eventually came in, dragging me from my sisters cold body. My eyes bloodshot and puffy fom crying so much. They left me there in the room, I sat on the edge of the bed staring at the floor. I was still expecting her to come running in and yell 'SURPRISE!' I started remember memories of her.

Like when I first held her, I didnt want to let her go. How I would always play with her outside when she was bored, or when I would watch stupid kiddy shows with her..how I would sing to her just to get her to stop whining...

I covered my face with my hands. Why couldnt it have been me?! She had so much more in life then I did. I always wanted to be there when she got married and be a uncle....I wouldnt be able to now...Because of me....

Alex's dad returned

"Mason, Im so so-"

"I dont want to hear it" I whispered as he sighed softly,

"Is there anything I can do for you?" He asked concern in his voice. I nodded

"Please....lock me up before I do something stupid" I could feel him stare at me

"If thats what you want" I nodded and stood up following him. He lead me to a slightly trashed room. Like I cared.

"Ill check on you tomorrow, call if you need anything" He told me, even though I wouldnt be needing anything but my own space and time. Once the lock clicked and the footsteps fadded. I started to cry again, gripping onto the wall and leaning my head against it.

"Why did you have to leave!!" I yelled to no one. "You left me just like everyone else!!" I Hit the wall with my fist, ignoring the pain spreading through my knuckles.

Through out the hours, I sobbed,yelled,screamed,threw things around and basically trashed the trashy room even worse and declared I wouldnt sing again, it would only make me cry.

By the time her dad came back, my right hand was bloody, my face was scratched, my arms were bloody and I was curled up in the corner. My eyes bloodshot more and red, and cheeks stained with tears.

"Mason? Do you want to come out now?" He asked as if I were a small child in trouble. I nodded slightly, my eyes and stomach hurt from crying so much.

The first place he took me was to get cleaned up. I took a shower, or well just stood in there for a really long time and let the hot water burn my skin thinking of everything thats happened. Then dressed in something cleaner then got my arms wrapped up along with my right hand. I muttered a thanks and walked out.

Taking a few deep breaths as I walked. I'd still cry, I could feel it coming on.I walked down to where Alex and Steven where, staring at the floor as I walked. I knocked with my left hand and Steven opened up, He gave me a small smile that I couldnt return even if I forced it upon myself.. I couldnt force my lips to turn right side up.

"Shes still wont talk" Steven said quietly to me, I nodded slightly and quietly walked over.

"alex" I said softly as she laid with her back towards me

"Alex, look at me" I said again, I could feel her tense up as I rested a hand on her shoulder which made her jump a bit. "Alex, please" I begged softly

I looked at her, her eye's had dullness but they were still bright. I wrapped my arms around her as my breath was shaky. I was about to hold her a tad bit tighter but

she pulled away looking at me, studying my face. She gently traced around my eyes and opened her
mouth but nothing came out.

My hand rubbing her back gently, the silence lingered for some time. "Is she.....?" She whispered making me take

a quick breath, I looked down at her, I could feel the tears lining up against the edges of my eyes to spill again.

"She`s gone"I whispered "That`s why I came here..I-I wanted to know that you wouldnt leave me....too" I whispered, my breath and voice shaky. I watched her, I regret being mad at her..this is what happens..

"mason, you have to be okay for me" Her voice was scratchy and quieter then normal "I need you to be okay, Im sorry about her, bu tyou cant leave me. You cant. I`d be a wreck. You just...cant, Im selfish but I wont let you leave me" Her voice raised a little with a small amount of pleading in it. Her grip on me tightened.

I swallowed hard "Alex....Im never going to be okay, my sanitys gone.....You have your parents,Ry-Steven who loves you. People that can protect you....Dont waste it, dont let it go so easily because theres people out there that want what you have" I told her as I peeled her arms off me,

"Im sorry Alex, I have to go......I cant do this anymore" I caressed her cheek softly "I still love you,even though I know how much you and Steven have fallen for each other" I kissed her forehead and stood up, walking back to where Steven was. "take care of her,dont let her think you dont love her and dont ever leave her....dont let her come after me"

"Where are you going?" he asked

I shrugged....."Have no idea" I told him before walking out of the room, shoving my hands into my jacket pockets....I wouldnt see them again...It was the best for all of us