Treasured Tributes

The sun rays filtered through the trees, touching my skin with its mellow heat. I inched forward to lay my head down at the roots of the orchid tree. This place held so many memories, yet I couldn’t bring myself to feel nostalgic. I opened my eyes slowly to stare down at the village below, except it was not there. The tall oak trees that once dotted the steep hills were also gone. Nothing was the same as I had remembered. Nostalgia was merely just an illusion. A sick, deceitful illusion.

This was where I had first met her. This was also where I had last seen her, choking on her own blood as she cried my name. Had nostalgia been the slightest bit merciful, the latter memory would not taint the other great ones. It would not change how I remembered her. How I remembered us. But it had, and I could do nothing to dull the throbbing pain in my heart. And so I would not give into nostalgia. I did not wish to remember.

I closed my eyes again, willing myself with everything in me to see nothing but darkness, and hear nothing but silence. I knew it was futile, but I had to keep trying.

Just like all the other times, I saw her dark eyes, and listened to her tinkling laugh again. I smiled, despite myself. Before I could give into my memories, the images changed, and suddenly her peals of giggles turned into shrill screams, and her brown eyes went bloody and cold. I gasped, unable to breathe, and shot up into a sitting position, holding my head in my palms. My heart hammered miserably in my chest as silent tears fell from my closed eyes. I wanted it to stop. I prayed that it would. But the pitiless gods would never stop my beating heart, and so I had to die every time I remembered her face.

The rustling of leaves around me caused my eyes to shoot open, and I all but snarled at the anonymous intruder. I did not wish to be disturbed.

I picked up my bow beside me as I stood up stiffly, an arrow pulled and positioned at the bush where the noise had come from. “Do not shoot!” I dropped my stance slightly. I knew exactly who the voice belonged to.

“Pho?” I called out hoarsely. The man stepped out from the bushes, bits of twigs and leaves in his thick hair. I sighed, dropping my bow on the ground. “What brings you here?”

He took a step forward, brushing himself lightly, but making no attempt to get the leaves out of his brown locks. “Mother asked me to bring you home.” I shook my head instantly. He held up his hand, “Hear me out!” He called exhorted, as I began to walk away.

I grimaced, “There is no home for me to return to.”

“Do not be like this, please,” He implored. “It has been centuries since you last saw mother. She misses you, and only wishes you the best.” He sighed, “We all miss you. Home just isn’t the same without you.” I knew that feeling, when something didn’t feel right anymore. Nothing was the same, and I hated it with everything in me. But there really wasn’t much left in me now. I wasn’t the same without her.

I heard him take another step towards me, “You do not still blame mother for what happened, do you?” I turned around to face him and shook my head, but I didn’t reply. I had stopped blaming her decades ago. I didn’t have it in me anymore to feel anything but anguish and worn out.

Neither of us spoke for awhile, and I was beginning to wonder if he would disappear into the bushes again and finally leave me be. When I heard him clear his throat, I knew that was not likely to happen. “Grandfather wants to punish you.” I rolled my eyes, almost letting a bitter laugh escape my lips.

“That is not news.” I muttered instead, breaking our gaze to look down at my strewn bow and arrows. Unlike all the other times when he decreed to punish me for using my weapon, this time I knew it was for the lack of its use.

“Just come back.” I looked up at Pho again, gazing into his bright green eyes. I was somewhat dazed at how identical our eyes were. His were more or less pleading right now. It was the same look I had given her far too many times. “This time it is important. We really need you.” I understood the sentiment, but I had to refuse.

I raised an eyebrow, “Nothing is important,” I clicked my tongue, stopping myself from adding in ‘anymore’, it would only serve to show how pathetic I had become in my misery.

He shook his head furiously, and I thought I saw the smallest glimmer of a tear. “It is the plague. You are needed. There is chaos everywhere,” he breathed, his eyes turned hard. I had heard of the great Black Death in this part of the world the previous year. Millions were dying, but my brother was a fool if he thought I carried any worry for the mortals. They were born to die.

“You do not understand the severity of the situation!” He was on the verge of yelling, and he was right. I did not understand, but neither did I care to.

I sighed in exasperation, he was certainly not going to leave my company anytime soon. “If I agree to help,” I started cautiously, not intending to bring him false hope, “Will all of you finally leave me alone?”

“Yes, oh heavens, yes I will!” He sounded so relieved as his face broke out into a wide grin, “I will ask every one else to leave you be as well!” He cried gleefully. I felt a small pang of pain in my chest again. I had missed his smile. I had missed him. I missed them all, but I would not return home.

I cleared my throat softly, feeling faintly overwhelmed by his happiness. He stopped beaming instantly. “What would you have me do?” I asked, and began praying that it was not what I was dreading. But of course if no prayer of mine has ever been answered, why should this one be?

A small smile returned to his lips, “You need to pick up your bow and arrow again.” I closed my eyes. He was asking me to do exactly what had ruined me.

“You would have me end the suffering of the ill mortals? Kill them before they spread the plague?” I asked, my eyes hopeful and small. I already knew his answer.

“No. Not those arrows.” His voice hardened a shade, “Use your real arrows.” I flinched.

“Pho-”

He cut in swiftly, “Just this one last time.” I pulled a face. I was hating this more than I had anticipated. “I think,” he added slowly. I shot him a glare, but he pressed on. “Grandfather is worried that the humans will soon die out. The plague has turned every one and every thing to madness. Their population is dwindling, and they are not going to survive much longer without love or desire.” He gestured to me, “Only you can give them that.”

He was right. Pho was always right. The mortals could overcome anything, but their only bane was their will to live, and that will would cease to exist without love and want. But today Pho was not entirely right. “I cannot give what I do not have any longer.” He rolled his eyes perceptibly.

“Figuratively, no. But otherwise you do, and you will follow orders,” He demanded.

I exhaled generously. This was going to be one tough battle to fight with myself. I knew where I had to go to retrieve my real arrows. I did not want to return home, but nothing ever went the way I had wanted. I winced internally, recalling the last time I was asked to do a job.

“What is all the commotion about?” I turned to stare at my sister as I walked into our mother’s room. My brothers and I had just returned home from a night out entertaining ourselves. I didn’t remember the last time I had this much pleasure, but then again, it had been awhile since we all got together to have fun with the mortals.

Harmonia’s eyes widened in surprise when she noticed me, “Where were you?” She hissed, glancing behind me at the others, “Where have you all been?”

I opened my mouth to answer her, but Pho beat me to it. “I thought I told you we were going to the ground.” He shrugged casually, “To have fun.” Her eyes narrowed in displeasure.

“You all do remember that you are not allowed to entertain yourselves with the mortals any more? Grandfather wants us to retain as little contact with them as possible.” I groaned, of course she would support the mortals. “We are not to interfere in their lives.”

I rolled my eyes, “It has been a long time. We were getting bored.” She shot me a look of disgust. I ignored it, “Now at least tell us why mother looks so angry?” I whispered, watching our mother screeching at her servants, smashing the mirrors and throwing jugs of wine on the marble floor. I cringed, that’s sure to leave nasty stains on the rugs.

“Is it about that mortal girl again?” Pho mumbled from behind me. I furrowed my brows in confusion. What mortal girl? I thought we had no formal business with the mortals now, so how had one of them angered mother? Harmonia nodded, adding more confusion to my lack of knowledge.

“Who?” I whispered, cautiously watching my mother again. She was absolutely livid. Anger was a common emotional state for her, but there was something different about it today. It was darker, incredibly wild and untamed.

Pho chuckled and slapped his hand on my shoulder, “You don’t know?” I shook my head, only to see Deimos grinning behind him. Harmonia smiled lightly, then rolled her eyes when she caught the smile they shared.

“I thought out of all people, you would have been the first to know.” Deimos smirked.

Harmonia let out a small giggle, “I would usually agree with that, but he hasn’t been around lately.”

Phobos looked confused, “You mean, he has been enjoying himself with the mortals for some time now?” Anger suddenly filled his voice, “Without us?” Deimos also stopped smiling.

I smirked softly, “You two were busy running errands for grandfather, and I was bored.” I shrugged indifferently, “I had to make do with what I have to keep myself company.”

Deimos punched my shoulder as I scowled at him.

“Oh heavens you are here!” I whirled around to find mother walking towards me, her gaze soft and warm. “My child,” She whispered, her voice rough from the thunderous tantrum she had just thrown. I hugged her.

She pulled back immediately, her eyes narrowed, “Where were you last night?” I shrunk back visibly.

“Fooling around with the mortal women,” I glared as Pho spoke up casually, his voice annoyed. “Doing what he does best.”

I turned back to my mother, expecting a harsh reprimand, but instead I found her quiet, a thoughtful look upon her youthful face. She looked up to meet my eyes, “I have a job for you.” The conversation seemed to have changed so fast I was almost baffled, but then I grinned. It had been a long while since someone had a job for me.

“Mother, no!” Harmonia sounded horrified at what my mother had in mind, but I could care less. This was a much better excuse to have fun with the mortals since I was going to be on official business. “Grandfather has forbidden it!”

“Quiet, girl!” Mother hissed at Harmonia, holding up her hand. Then she turned to face me again. “It is a mortal woman.” She all but spat, and I relished in the thought that this meant the job was going to be overwhelmingly fun. Almost torturous.

My interests piqued. This must be the girl we were just talking about. My eyes flickered back to my mother to watch her eyes turn hard at the mention of this girl. I wonder what she had done to anger her to such an extent. “She is a prostitute.” I grinned, even better. I was definitely going to enjoy myself before the job.

I shot my mother a lopsided grin as I watched Harmonia stomp away in annoyance. “Well? What is her name, mother?”

She stared at me for awhile, and my smile faded slightly, wondering if she was reconsidering her job offer. But then she finally spoke, and I noticeably shivered hearing the venom in her voice, “Psyche.”

Phobos snapped his fingers in my face, “Brother,” he called loudly, snapping me out of my memories. “You do know where you have to g-” I squirmed uncomfortably.

“Fine. I will follow through.” I sighed, cutting him off. “I will meet you tomorrow,” I bit my lip, trying to hold on to the next words, but I had no other choice. “At home.”

The look in his eyes told me he had expected that, though he didn’t think I would agree so quickly. But the sooner I get the job done, the sooner I can return to being the hollow shell of the man that I have become.