Back to the Start

"I have to go book my flight now! Thank again Rachael!", his words fading as he ran back to his car. 

"--your gigs.", I finish saying belatedly. What did I just do?

A minute later, I get up. This is dumb. Why was I even here and crying? This is over. It's been over. Pulling out my phone, I text Sam. "So done with this. Let's go out for real tonight."

"Are you sure you're ok? Did Garrett find you? And yay!"

"Yea. He knew where I was. I'm fine. Momentary lapse of judgement. But please. Can we not think or talk about this anymore? I just want to have some fun."

"Course. Electric again? It's the only good place here anyways. 11 sound alright to you? But you're the DD."

"Seriously? I said I wanted FUN! What fun is there in staying sober? Wait. Idea. We can get a cab. Just for today."

"Ooh. I like. But even better, why don't you call all the guys along and one of THEM can be the DD."

"Me?! Why can't you?"

"It was your idea. Duh."

"Sam. Please. Not today. They probably think I'm psyho after today!"

Instead of texting me back, Sam decides to call. "That's exactly why you need to talk to them!", she says earnestly. "Look. I don't know any of them as well as you obviously used to. But I do know you. Which means I also know you're going to avoid talking to them for as long as possible. I also know something else. And I'm sure the boys do too. But you have no clue what I'm talking about, and you're gonna deny it. So I'll stop talking about that now."

"Woah. First. Take a breath. Second, I guess. But...I don't want to! And third. What do you know that I don't?"

"Rachael. I can't tell you that. It's something you need to figure out and come to terms with alone. And you know, I have never seen you with a guy!"

"What? What does that have to do with anything? And you have! We've gone to so many parties and clubs."

"No. I mean the relationship kind of together. But now that I met a part of your mysterious past, I think I get it."

Exasperated now, I still have no clue what she's talking about. "You're insane. Actually crazy. And mysterious past? You know about my past!"

"Nooo...", she says slowly. "Not really. I mean. I heard a lot of people talking about stuff. But I never really heard it from you. And I never asked. I mean, the past is the past, right? Plus it's none of my business. But Rach. I've met them. And I see how you interact with them. And I was wrong. Those boys weren't just friends of a guy you used to date. They were your whole life. And you really need to talk to them. So you're calling them. CALLING. NOT TEXTING. We're including Dirk by the way. And all eight of us will have an awesome time."

"Uhh...seven. All seven of us."

Sounding confused, she asks, "Seven? Why?"

"Garrett is flying to NYC to surprise Falyn. Because of the fight."

"Oh. Ok. What guy actually does that?"

"Not him," I say glumly. "Since I was the one who kinda accidentally gave him the idea."

"Oh.", replies Sam, sounding thoughtful. "Well, seven then. We'll still have a fantastic time. Plus, last time, he didn't do much anyways."

"Yea. I know. Clubs aren't really his thing."

"Well, alright.", Sam says brightly. "Call them. And tell one of them that they're the DD. I'll see you tonight!"

As she hangs up, I stare at my phone apprehensively. If I text them...she'll never know. But no. She's right. I have to talk to them. Sighing, I dial John's number first.