Back to the Start

Good ol' Jimmy. He still remembers us. I guess it's not too surprising, since we spent so much time here. And he still thinks we're together. Does it look like that? I stop paying attention to their exchange. 

"Gare?", I hear. Is that...? Oh shit. I hastily remove my arm from around Rachael. 

"Uhh...Falyn. What are you doing here?", I ask nervously. 

Giving Rachael a look, she asks, "Can we talk? Alone?"

I glance at Rach with a questioning look in my eyes. "Uhh...sorry Gary. I'll go now. Practice is at Ken's today at four.", she mumbles, rushing out of the shop. 

"I thought you said I had nothing to worry about!", she exclaimed. 

"You don't! She's just a friend. I don't get why you're so worked up about it!" Realizing that Jimmy was giving us a curious look, I pull her outside. "Let's just get to my car."

"Where is it?", she asks tightly. 

"A few blocks down.", I sigh. She follows me in tense silence. 

"Starbucks?", she says snidely. "You guys got coffee together too?"

"Nothing happened! Today is the first day we've even talked in nearly a week!"

"I can't believe you. You come to New York, but run right back into her arms in Arizona?"

"I told you! It's not like that!", I say emphatically. "Why don't you believe me when I say I love you?"

"Why? Because every other moment you're hanging out with your ex!" 

"So...you don't trust me? I thought that's what love is. To have unconditional trust, compassion, and understanding for someone. To want to take care of someone. That location doesn't matter. That age doesn't matter. That nothing and no one matters but the two people who are in love. I guess I was wrong. Not once, but twice."

"You know I love you! I just can't deal with this."

"Deal with what?! There's nothing for you to deal with. Between us, there's only us!"

"No. There's her! I want to fix us. To be what we were even a month ago."

"There's nothing to fix. I love you. You love me. Why can't that be enough?", practically begging her. 

"Sometimes. Sometimes, that's not enough.", she responds quietly now. "You need to choose Garrett. Either me or her. Not both. It's not working that way."

I stare at her astonished. I can't choose between them. "You want me...to choose...between the two of you?"

"Yes Garrett. It's called one or the other."

"This is an ultimatum. How can you ask me to choose? It's like asking me to choose between you and the band!"

"Oh. So she means as much to you as the band does now?", she asks icily. 

"No. I didn't mean it tha--"

She cuts me off. "I've heard enough. We're done." And starts walking away from me. 

What? "No! Fay! Falyn! Wait!", I say running after her. "You can't do this to us!"

"Do what? I came back to apologize for blowing everything out of proportion. But I see you guys walking rapped around each other. The guy thought you guys were still a couple! What can you say about that?!"

"It didn't mean anything. We're just comfortable with each other! We've known each other for practically ever! Even when we were in middle school, it's how we walked around sometimes. I didn't think it was a big deal!"

"Exactly! You didn't think! I can't do this anymore. Always worried and...I just can't! I'm leaving. And for good."pp

"Fay. Please." But seeing the look she gave me, I changed my mind about trying to talk reason into her again. Instead, I just ask, "Do you even know where you're going? I'll drive you to wherever you need to be."

"I don't need your help.", came her clipped reply. "Nice knowing you Garrett." And I watched her walk away. 

I get into my car and drive around, ending up at Rachael's house. Before I could change my mind, I walk into her house. The front door was unlocked. And even if not, I still had the keys she had given me. 

"Mom? Is that you?", I hear a voice from upstairs. 

"No. It's me.", knowing that she would recognize my voice. 

"Garrett? What're you doing here? And where's Falyn? And--"

Before she can say anything more, I pull her body closer to me, her lips crashing into mine. 

She leaned in, but then pushed me away. "What the hell Garrett?!"

Running my hand through my hair, I look around helplessly. "Rach. I'm...shit. Sorry. I...I need to go." And I run out again. 

Pressing my head against the steering wheel, I wonder what just happened. Why did I do that? She didn't say anything when I left. What does she think of me? And Falyn. My life is a mess.

My phone vibrates to indicate that I got a text.