Back to the Start

Hearing a noise downstairs, I call out, "Mom? Is that you?"

"No. It's me." Gare. Why is he here?

"Garrett? What're you doing here? And where's Falyn? And--"

Before I can finish talking, he pulls my body into his, kissing me with an urgency he had never done before. It feels like heaven. But then I remember, he's not mine anymore. I push him away. "What the hell Garrett?!"

He runs his hand through his already messy hair, looking like he was at a loss of words. "Rach. I'm...shit. Sorry. I...I need to go." And he leaves. 

What was that? Why is he doing this to me? 

"Garrett. You need to talk to me. What was that?"

My mind's going crazy. Sam. We need a girls night out. "Heyy. Let's hang out. Alone. We haven't done that in forever."

"Sure. Like...club or just dinner and chill?"

Do I want to go to a club? No. Not after what happened last time. "Let's just get dinner. No clubs. Not after what happened last time. But can we...talk?"

"Sure. Let's meet up at Starbucks."

Wincing, I text back, "How about In N Out?"

"Gimme half an hour."

"So," said Sam as she slid into the booth across from me. "What happened?"

"What? Something happened?"

"Please.", said Sam. "Something happened. I know my best friend."

"Yea. You're right.", I say biting my lip. "But let's talk about something else...how's Dirk doing? Are you guys like...together, or...?"

Letting out a giggle, she asks, "Dirk and I? God no!"

"Wait. What?", I asked confusedly. "I thought...?"

"Ok. Well, you can't tell anyone this. Because it's not really public."

"Ok...? So why aren't you guys together?"

"Well, Dirk's gay."

I gasp. "No! Get out! He always acted the part of a perfect player."

"Acted.", she said winking at me. "That's the key word here."

"Wait. So who knows? Besides for you."

"Only Kenny."

"Kenny hmm? Why so?"

I see a blush creep up her cheeks, and I know. "Well.", she said. "I kind of had to tell him. So like, he would actually go on a date with me."

"So does that mean you guys are official?", I ask excitedly.

"I don't know. It's not a secret, but we haven't labeled it either. It's just nice being with someone."

"Awwwh. I'm so happy for you. Kenny's the nicest guy you will ever meet. No lie."

"I know. And...he's just. Wow."

"Don't break his heart.", I warn. "He told you about Gabi right? And you told him about Andy?"

Smiling sadly, "Yea. She didn't want to deal with the touring thing right?"

"Yea. I lost touch with her too. We were so close. It was just the two of us that were girls, yaknow? Neither of us liked the touring thing. Kenny asked her to join them after she graduated. She was one year above us, and one below Ken. Actually, Gare asked me too. But neither of us wanted to go. We had college ahead of us. In the end, she was the better person though. She may have broken his heart, but it was so much better than what I did to Gary."

"Although...what exactly did you do to him? No one really would say."

"I...I made a mistake. It was...bad. He saw me and I was with Nick and...I broke his heart. And...I can't screw up his life again!"

"Ok...what else happened?"

"He just...we saw Falyn a few hours ago. We were just hanging out. And...and then before I texted you. He just came. And...grabbed me and missed me. And then LEFT. After saying sorry. What the HELL is that? What about Falyn?! This whole damn summer...I've been trying so hard to not mess up his life again. He's a perfect guy. And he deserves someone else perfect for him. But Falyn has made him mad and sad more times this summer than I'd ever seen before. And...why?"

"What about you?", asks Sam quietly. "Don't you deserve to be happy?"

"I am. Most of the time. Just...I'm confused right now."

"But Rach. I've never seen you happier than when you're with him."

Shrugging, "He was my best friend before we ever dated. He was the one I'd cry to when some guy I liked ignored me. And then we were together. And it was really perfect. I always wished that we could go back to high school when they were touring. But then I screwed it up."

"You need to get your man back."

"What? He's with Falyn."

"But he kissed you!"

"I know. But--", I cut off as my phone vibrates on the table. I look at it apprehensively, remembering the earlier text to Garrett.

Sam picks it up and announces, "It's Garrett."

"I don't want to talk to him right now! Don't answer it!"

Rolling her eyes, she answers it anyways. "Hii Gary. What's up?"

"I'm in the bathroom.", I mouth. Over and over again. 

She keeps nodding and mhmm-ing. "So Gary. Instead of telling me all of this, why don't you tell her?"

"I'm not here!", now frantic. 

"Yea. She's sitting next to me. And no, she did not hear anything you just said. Now talk to her." Pushing the phone towards me, she says, "Talk to him. Don't hang up. I'll be in the bathroom."

Sighing, I take the phone. "Hey Gare.", I squeak. 

"Hey Rach.", he responds quietly. "I need to talk to you. But not on the phone. Can I meet you somewhere?"

"What about Falyn?" My voice sounds so unnatural. 

I can hear him taking a breath on the other line. "I promise I'll explain everything. Please just see me.", practically begging now. 

"Gary. I...fine. Where?"

"The park.  In...however long you need. Just make sure you give us enough time to get to practice after. I'll be there waiting."

"Alright. I'll see you later Gare.", while hanging up at the phone. 

When Sam comes back, she smiles brightly at me. "So?"

"I hate you so much. But I'm going to see him. He says we need to talk."

"That you do.", she says. "Where?"

"Uhh...an old meeting place. But I'm going home first. You can go hang with your man before practice. Tell him I say hi. And that he better not hurt you."

"Alright. You and Gare need to work things out. Good luck!", giving me a hug. "I'll see you at practice."

I grab my keys and follow her out. I hope I haven't made a mistake by saying yes to seeing him.