Wine After Whiskey

When James woke up the next morning his mouth was drier than a bone, and his head pounded like somebody was taking a jackhammer to his temple and slowly banging on his sensitive flesh. After the second shot of Jack at the bar last night, he knew this hang over would be a bitch.

Rubbing his eyes to knock out the sleepies and sitting up ever so carefully, he looked around the room he was in. The small living room was neat as a pin except for the pillow he had thrown onto the floor in mid slumber, and the soft periwinkle blanket that was wrapped around his ankles haphazardly. Underneath the coffee table- which had an aspirin and glass of water waiting for him like a treasure chest- neatly sat his Nike tennis shoes, his socks inside of the sneakers. Tessa had remembered how he didn’t like wearing socks to bed.

Tessa.

Before he was able to get up and wander around the apartment for the young red head, she met him at the door way, a plate filled with all kinds of good breakfast essentials in her hand. She pursed her lips and shook her head slightly almost as in a ‘why the fuck had I even offered to let him crash on my couch in the first place?’ reaction and leaned up against the frame of the doorway.

“Hi,” James whispered quietly. He spoke in a voice that was raspy, and horse not only because of the alcohol that had taken it’s toll on his vocal cords; but because he was taking in the sheer beauty that was standing in front of him.

To say that Tessa was gorgeous would have been a lie. She was beautiful. Her straight auburn hair- which had been cut at her shoulders the last time James had seen her- was pulled back with a yellow headband and was longer than her mid back. No makeup accentuated her pale face, yet her bright blue eyes popped like the sea. No, she was more beautiful than the last time he had seen her. Apparently time was good for looks, James only had hoped that she thought the same about him.

“I brought you food.” Her voice was rough and tired sounding, and there had been no greeting towards him. She set the plate down on the table filled with Canadian bacon, eggs, and breakfast potatoes and then started out of the living room and down the hallway.

It took James a second for his brain to relay the message that he wanted to send to his body, but he was able to stand up and follow her down the hallway and into the kitchen. “Where’s Aubree?” he asked cautiously resting upside the counter. Tessa was staring at the open refrigerator and looked like she was pondering the meaning of life. She closed the door softly behind her and folded her arms across her chest defensively.

“At my parent’s house. I had to take her over there at fucking midnight last night because you showed up drunker than Cooter Brown, and I didn’t want to expose my kid to that bullshit.” she spat out the words, but her voice never raised below normal decibel; nonetheless, it hit James like a dagger.

“Are you going to bring her back over here?”

“Not until you’re gone.” she replied coolly. Maybe it was the alcohol that was still detoxing out of James’s system that was clouding his mind, but he couldn’t wrap his head around why she wasn’t allowing him to be around her daughter.

“Why?”

The question was simple enough, harmless even, but it caused Tessa to go out on a full-fury, angered spout.

“Why, James?” she asked incredulously. He blinked at her and realized he had just stepped from the fuel to the fire. “I asked myself that same fucking question at midnight when you showed up drunk, and demanding to see my daughter.” James was about to interrupt her, clarifying that it was his daughter too, but decided against it realizing she looked like she wanted to throw the frying pan used to cook the bacon at his head. “Four years. Four years and now all of a sudden you try calling and ‘getting together’? What is that bullshit?” She gave him a moment pause to answer her question, but instead finished on what she was saying. “You left James. After nine-weeks of being here, nine-weeks of feedings, baths, diaper changes, everything; you left. And I didn’t say anything. I let you. I knew you weren’t ready, so I let you go and figure out what you needed to figure out. But it’s four fucking years later, and now you decide to show up? After I did all the hard work, spending nights away till three in the morning with a baby who had colic like it was nobodies business. Or kissing booboos when she fell on the slide and cut her knee open. Or god forbid was there when she had fucking surgery to get tubes put in her ears because her ear infections were getting so bad that antibiotics were no longer working?” James was almost stunned by the way she was treating him. Sure he knew he had done wrong, but he almost expected her to let him back into her life. Wasn’t it that easy?

“I didn’t say anything when you left, and when you never came back… I didn’t because I knew you weren’t ready, and I wasn’t pushing it on you. But she’s four years old, James, and I don’t think that this is good for her. I can’t see my baby getting hurt by somebody who will be here for the summer, and by the fall will be back in wherever the hell you’re playing for is.” Her voice quivered a little bit, yet she was still standing her ground. James was slightly irritated at the way she was acting about this, and said something he probably shouldn’t have.

“Why? Because you have a boyfriend in your life? That fucking guy from Boston? Is he her new ‘daddy’?” he spit the words back to her, and the small space between them in the kitchen suddenly got smaller as Tessa stomped across the black and white tile floors, and pushed James leaving him off balance and nearly on the floor.

“No you fucking prick. No. Because you were never there, and I don’t want to get her excited about having you back in her life and then you leave. That’s why. And anyways, ‘that fucking guy from Boston?’ Yeah well I found out two weeks after I got back from going there to meet his parents, that he actually had a fiancée out in California, and used me the entire time so think about how that one is going, James. I’m sure your mother told you about that part too, right?” Suddenly, James felt terrible. He shouldn’t have even brought it up in the first place, but the fact that he was fucking pissed because she wasn’t allowing him to see his daughter, made him say something stupid, and uncalled for.

The room fell silent. James didn’t know what to say, knowing that apologies wouldn’t help the situation; and Tessa didn’t even want to begin a situation that would only end up voile.

“I think it’s best if you go now…” Tessa said softly after a couple of minutes. She took a deep sigh, and returned back to the living room. “Take your food with you so you have breakfast, and just leave the plate at your moms house. I’ll be by sometime this week to see her anyways. I need to go pick up Aubree because I have things to do, so you need to go.” James nodded and sat down on the couch to put on his sneakers. After a couple of minutes he was finished tying his shoes and stood up. Walking to the doorway, Tessa followed, her arms still across her chest.

“I do want to be apart of her life. Both of yours. There wasn’t a day that passed by that something reminded me of you guys. I came back this summer because I finally realized what I had given up, and how so badly did I want to get it back. If you could maybe give it a second thought over, and give me a call if you change you’re mind, I’d love it.” James spoke from his heart, and said all of what he should have said yesterday- without being drunk. Tessa cleared her throat, but nodded at him as she opened the door and let him out into the hallway, closing the door after he left and finally breaking down.

As he walked down the hallway, James hoped to God that Tessa would realize he was being for real this time, and wasn’t joking. He wanted to be there everyday for the rest of their lives, and he only hoped that she would change her mind around so that he was able to fulfill that.