Status: On the way :)
Feel
four
Amy lay awake that night, her mind racing. She had so many different thoughts flying through her mind; how she needed to get a job, how the Penguins were facing their state rivals, the Flyers, the following night, how lonely she was...
She was 22, and she hadn't had a real boyfriend since she was 19. She had dated a guy for a year and a half while she had been in school, and she had broken it off because he had turned out to be someone who was the complete opposite from what she had thought. She had been asked out a few times since, and had gone on a few dates, but none of the guys interested her. They were sloppy, sexual, or they just... Lacked chemistry. In fact, she hadn't been really interested in a guy for a long time. Until now.
Her mind began to flood with thoughts of familiar blue eyes; intriguing, framed by dark lashes, gazing at her whenever she spoke, as if he was genuinely interested in what she was saying. Crinkling at the sides when he smiled that big smile, or when he laughed. His laugh...
Give it up, she scolded herself. She was lonely. That was it. And seeing how in love her brother and his wife were made it almost that much worse.
That's all it is, Amy. You're just lonely.
***
Amy headed in through the parking garage doors at the arena, and turned around on instinct to check if anyone was coming in behind her. She felt her stomach flutter and a smile grew on her face when she saw James walking towards the door. He looked up and when he met her eyes, he smiled and nodded in greeting. Amy waved, and leaned against the door, holding it open until he reached her. She was slightly embarrassed from the previous day's events, but when he had sent her that smile, she felt a hundred times better. She did notice, however, that he most definitely was not wearing the tie she had brought over the day before. He's gonna need it for tomorrow, Paul had said. Amy rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the tiny smile from forming on her face as she thought about her brother's obvious attempts at hooking her up with his teammate.
"Hey."
"Hey," Amy replied. She stepped away from the door as James' hand reached out to hold it open for himself. He thanked her as they fell into step together, walking down the hall. "How are you?"
"Good," James said. "You?"
"I'm good," she answered half-heartedly. Her mind could not shake the realization that she was alone, and had been for quite some time. The fact that the one person she was officially going crazy for was standing right beside her didn't help. She noticed James glance at her from the corner of her eye.
"You sure?"
She looked at him and nodded, not really meeting his eyes. She gave him a tiny smile, wished him a quiet "have a good game", and turned towards the lounge.
She had taken two steps in when she heard someone calling her name. She retraced her steps. James had disappeared into the locker room, and Amy saw Max heading down the hall towards her. She smiled and greeted him.
"Did you need something?"
Max grinned and Amy raised her eyebrows. "I just think you and Nealer would make cute babies, that's all."
Amy began to blush furiously, surprised by his blunt statement. "Max!"
Max chuckled and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I see the way you two look at one another. Everyone does. We always tease 'im in the locker room about you. 'e doesn't say anything, just sits there shaking 'is 'ead with a smile on 'is face." He pulled his hand away, and winked. "I think you should go for it."
He began to walk away, and Amy stood there in shock for a moment before she called after him. "It's not like that, Max!"
***
After waking up at 12:00 in the afternoon, Amy spent the rest of her day out job searching. Then she met up with Jess, Kris Letang's girlfriend, for supper, before heading home. Her and Jess had become quite good friends over the past year, and Amy always loved spending time with her. At many points during the conversation, Amy wanted to bring up James and spill everything, but she kept her mouth shut.
When Amy finally arrived home, she was surprised to find Paul's car not in the driveway. She pulled in and got out of the car, searching in her purse for her keys. As she walked up to the front door, her search became more frantic. She found nothing. She reached the door and attempted to open it but, as suspected, it was locked. She pulled out her phone and dialled her brother's house number.
As she stood there, waiting for someone to answer, she felt a drop on her shoulder. She glanced up at the sky, and willed silently for her brother - or anyone - to be home. When nobody picked up the house phone, she tried her brother and his wife's cell phones - no answer. She was about to try the door again, hoping for a miracle, when the rain began to pour down.
She began to search for her keys one last time, and found the same result. As the rain began to get even heavier, she didn't stop to think. She turned around, glancing at her car, before glancing around the street. Her eyes caught on a familiar house, and she groaned before making a run for it.
She heard the distant rumbling of thunder and she bit her lip as she reached James' front step. She had never been a fan of thunderstorms. She rang the doorbell and shivered. She had no way to know if James was home or not - he always parked his car in the garage. She stood there, the rain soaking her to the bone, trying to think of other possible solutions to the scenario when the door opened. She let out a giant sigh of relief.
"Amy?" He looked surprised. They stared at one another for a moment, before it seemed to click in his brain what was going on. He ushered her in quickly, and shut the door behind her. She stood there in his front foyer, dripping all over the floor, feeling like a drowned rat.
"I'm sorry," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. "I can't find my keys, and Paul's not home, although I don't have any idea where he would be, and he's not answering his phone, and-"
James began to laugh, and Amy felt her cheeks flush as she realized she had been rambling. He looked her over, and motioned for her to follow him down the hall. She began to protest that she would get everything wet, but he ignored her, leading her to his room. She stood by the door awkwardly as he disappeared into his closet. He reappeared a moment later, and walked over to her.
"You can change into these."
Amy's heart fluttered as she realized what he was offering. It was something so simple - he was offering to let her borrow his clothes because she was soaking wet. But the small act of kindness, the way he gazed down at her as he held out the shirt and pants... It sent shivers up and down her spine.
She took the clothes from his outstretched hands and said a quiet thank you. He mumbled back a 'no problem', before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Amy stood there for a moment, looking around the room, before finally finding the will to move.
When she finally emerged, she headed into the living room, where she heard the quiet murmur of the television. She found James sitting on the couch, and he turned when he heard her enter the room. A tiny smile appeared at the side of his lips.
"I look ridiculous," Amy laughed, looking down at herself.
"No, you don't," James assured her. "You look..." Amy glanced up to find him looking her over. Her heart missed a beat. "You don't look ridiculous," he finished, his eyes finally meeting hers. He abruptly turned away, and settled back into the couch cushions. It was silent for a moment before Amy began to move her feet.
"Your house is really nice," she commented, sitting down in the armchair. She quickly texted her brother.
"You've seen it before."
Amy smiled a bit. "Yeah. I'm just stating the facts."
James nodded, looking over at her. She was staring straight forward, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. His shirt. He quickly wiped all the thoughts from his mind, and turned back to the TV. "Thanks."
"It must get..." She hesitated, before stopping herself. He glanced at her, raising his eyebrows expectantly, and she gave him a timid smile before looking away. "Never mind."
"What?"
Amy turned to find him still looking at her. She sighed. "I was going to say lonely." She turned away from him until she heard him chuckle, and she turned back.
He ran a hand through his hair, making her stomach flip, before he nodded, a tiny, remorseful smile on his lips. "It is."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't apologize," he shook his head. "It's obvious, huh?"
"It's just... empty, that's all." James nodded, and Amy snuck glances at him. Although his gaze was on the TV, he appeared to be thinking. After a moment, he spoke up.
"Hey, did you want something to drink?"
Amy didn't question the change of subject. "Sure."
They headed into the kitchen. Amy turned on the kettle and began to make herself some tea. She leaned her elbows on the counter and rested her head in her hands, staring off into nowhere, her mind wandering.
"You alright?" Amy was brought back to the present by the sound of James' voice. She turned, leaning her back against the counter so that she was facing him. He was across the kitchen from her, and he raised his eyebrows questioningly as he shut the fridge door. Amy shrugged, looking down. "Same thing as yesterday?"
Amy sighed. "Maybe." She reached her hands back and gripped the edge of the counter. "I'm lonely too," she confessed. "That's all." She met James' eyes, and he nodded, keeping eye contact for a few seconds before he broke it, setting his beer down on the table. Amy heard the click of the kettle and turned around. All of a sudden, she felt James' presence behind her, and she turned her head slightly in surprise. His sweater brushed against her skin, and she nearly shivered when his scent filled her nose. Max's words flooded her mind and she grew dizzy.
James tried not to get too overwhelmingly close as he reached up to open the cupboard to the right of Amy's head. He grabbed a coffee mug and handed it to her, before grabbing the box of tea bags his mother had brought last time his parents had visited. He took a step away before leaning against the counter, and Amy was finally able to breathe somewhat properly.
"You're great, Amy," he spoke as she poured the hot water in her mug. "You won't be lonely for long."
A small smile pulled at Amy's lips, and she began to stir the teabag into the water. "Thanks," she said quietly. She couldn't meet his eyes. She had a feeling her cheeks were an embarrassing shade of pink. She focused on the stirring. She was afraid that if she spoke, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from blurting out things she didn't know if James wanted to hear.
Things like how every time he smiled - every single time, without fail - her stomach flipped like an acrobat. Or things like when he so much as looked at her for more than one second with those blue eyes, with those dark, framing lashes, she felt the same familiar feeling in her stomach begin to build.
She shook herself from her thoughts and they headed back into the living room. As James switched the channel to a movie that was playing, and Amy waited for a text from her brother, she relaxed into the chair, sipping on her tea. When she finished, she set it on the coffee table in front of her. As the movie progressed and her and James sat in comfortable silence, she felt her eyelids begin to droop, and she started to nod off.
She was woken a bit later when she felt something being draped across her body. She opened her eyes and found that James had gotten her a blanket, and had gently laid it on her. She lifted her head and saw him standing by the couch with the remote in his hands, about to turn off the TV.
"James?"
He turned. "Yeah?"
Amy held his gaze for a minute. "Thanks." He nodded with a smile, and as he turned back to the TV, she watched him. "James?" she said again. He looked back, his eyebrows raised. She pulled the blanket up to her chin before saying, "You won't be lonely for long either."
She was 22, and she hadn't had a real boyfriend since she was 19. She had dated a guy for a year and a half while she had been in school, and she had broken it off because he had turned out to be someone who was the complete opposite from what she had thought. She had been asked out a few times since, and had gone on a few dates, but none of the guys interested her. They were sloppy, sexual, or they just... Lacked chemistry. In fact, she hadn't been really interested in a guy for a long time. Until now.
Her mind began to flood with thoughts of familiar blue eyes; intriguing, framed by dark lashes, gazing at her whenever she spoke, as if he was genuinely interested in what she was saying. Crinkling at the sides when he smiled that big smile, or when he laughed. His laugh...
Give it up, she scolded herself. She was lonely. That was it. And seeing how in love her brother and his wife were made it almost that much worse.
That's all it is, Amy. You're just lonely.
***
Amy headed in through the parking garage doors at the arena, and turned around on instinct to check if anyone was coming in behind her. She felt her stomach flutter and a smile grew on her face when she saw James walking towards the door. He looked up and when he met her eyes, he smiled and nodded in greeting. Amy waved, and leaned against the door, holding it open until he reached her. She was slightly embarrassed from the previous day's events, but when he had sent her that smile, she felt a hundred times better. She did notice, however, that he most definitely was not wearing the tie she had brought over the day before. He's gonna need it for tomorrow, Paul had said. Amy rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the tiny smile from forming on her face as she thought about her brother's obvious attempts at hooking her up with his teammate.
"Hey."
"Hey," Amy replied. She stepped away from the door as James' hand reached out to hold it open for himself. He thanked her as they fell into step together, walking down the hall. "How are you?"
"Good," James said. "You?"
"I'm good," she answered half-heartedly. Her mind could not shake the realization that she was alone, and had been for quite some time. The fact that the one person she was officially going crazy for was standing right beside her didn't help. She noticed James glance at her from the corner of her eye.
"You sure?"
She looked at him and nodded, not really meeting his eyes. She gave him a tiny smile, wished him a quiet "have a good game", and turned towards the lounge.
She had taken two steps in when she heard someone calling her name. She retraced her steps. James had disappeared into the locker room, and Amy saw Max heading down the hall towards her. She smiled and greeted him.
"Did you need something?"
Max grinned and Amy raised her eyebrows. "I just think you and Nealer would make cute babies, that's all."
Amy began to blush furiously, surprised by his blunt statement. "Max!"
Max chuckled and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I see the way you two look at one another. Everyone does. We always tease 'im in the locker room about you. 'e doesn't say anything, just sits there shaking 'is 'ead with a smile on 'is face." He pulled his hand away, and winked. "I think you should go for it."
He began to walk away, and Amy stood there in shock for a moment before she called after him. "It's not like that, Max!"
***
After waking up at 12:00 in the afternoon, Amy spent the rest of her day out job searching. Then she met up with Jess, Kris Letang's girlfriend, for supper, before heading home. Her and Jess had become quite good friends over the past year, and Amy always loved spending time with her. At many points during the conversation, Amy wanted to bring up James and spill everything, but she kept her mouth shut.
When Amy finally arrived home, she was surprised to find Paul's car not in the driveway. She pulled in and got out of the car, searching in her purse for her keys. As she walked up to the front door, her search became more frantic. She found nothing. She reached the door and attempted to open it but, as suspected, it was locked. She pulled out her phone and dialled her brother's house number.
As she stood there, waiting for someone to answer, she felt a drop on her shoulder. She glanced up at the sky, and willed silently for her brother - or anyone - to be home. When nobody picked up the house phone, she tried her brother and his wife's cell phones - no answer. She was about to try the door again, hoping for a miracle, when the rain began to pour down.
She began to search for her keys one last time, and found the same result. As the rain began to get even heavier, she didn't stop to think. She turned around, glancing at her car, before glancing around the street. Her eyes caught on a familiar house, and she groaned before making a run for it.
She heard the distant rumbling of thunder and she bit her lip as she reached James' front step. She had never been a fan of thunderstorms. She rang the doorbell and shivered. She had no way to know if James was home or not - he always parked his car in the garage. She stood there, the rain soaking her to the bone, trying to think of other possible solutions to the scenario when the door opened. She let out a giant sigh of relief.
"Amy?" He looked surprised. They stared at one another for a moment, before it seemed to click in his brain what was going on. He ushered her in quickly, and shut the door behind her. She stood there in his front foyer, dripping all over the floor, feeling like a drowned rat.
"I'm sorry," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. "I can't find my keys, and Paul's not home, although I don't have any idea where he would be, and he's not answering his phone, and-"
James began to laugh, and Amy felt her cheeks flush as she realized she had been rambling. He looked her over, and motioned for her to follow him down the hall. She began to protest that she would get everything wet, but he ignored her, leading her to his room. She stood by the door awkwardly as he disappeared into his closet. He reappeared a moment later, and walked over to her.
"You can change into these."
Amy's heart fluttered as she realized what he was offering. It was something so simple - he was offering to let her borrow his clothes because she was soaking wet. But the small act of kindness, the way he gazed down at her as he held out the shirt and pants... It sent shivers up and down her spine.
She took the clothes from his outstretched hands and said a quiet thank you. He mumbled back a 'no problem', before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Amy stood there for a moment, looking around the room, before finally finding the will to move.
When she finally emerged, she headed into the living room, where she heard the quiet murmur of the television. She found James sitting on the couch, and he turned when he heard her enter the room. A tiny smile appeared at the side of his lips.
"I look ridiculous," Amy laughed, looking down at herself.
"No, you don't," James assured her. "You look..." Amy glanced up to find him looking her over. Her heart missed a beat. "You don't look ridiculous," he finished, his eyes finally meeting hers. He abruptly turned away, and settled back into the couch cushions. It was silent for a moment before Amy began to move her feet.
"Your house is really nice," she commented, sitting down in the armchair. She quickly texted her brother.
"You've seen it before."
Amy smiled a bit. "Yeah. I'm just stating the facts."
James nodded, looking over at her. She was staring straight forward, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. His shirt. He quickly wiped all the thoughts from his mind, and turned back to the TV. "Thanks."
"It must get..." She hesitated, before stopping herself. He glanced at her, raising his eyebrows expectantly, and she gave him a timid smile before looking away. "Never mind."
"What?"
Amy turned to find him still looking at her. She sighed. "I was going to say lonely." She turned away from him until she heard him chuckle, and she turned back.
He ran a hand through his hair, making her stomach flip, before he nodded, a tiny, remorseful smile on his lips. "It is."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't apologize," he shook his head. "It's obvious, huh?"
"It's just... empty, that's all." James nodded, and Amy snuck glances at him. Although his gaze was on the TV, he appeared to be thinking. After a moment, he spoke up.
"Hey, did you want something to drink?"
Amy didn't question the change of subject. "Sure."
They headed into the kitchen. Amy turned on the kettle and began to make herself some tea. She leaned her elbows on the counter and rested her head in her hands, staring off into nowhere, her mind wandering.
"You alright?" Amy was brought back to the present by the sound of James' voice. She turned, leaning her back against the counter so that she was facing him. He was across the kitchen from her, and he raised his eyebrows questioningly as he shut the fridge door. Amy shrugged, looking down. "Same thing as yesterday?"
Amy sighed. "Maybe." She reached her hands back and gripped the edge of the counter. "I'm lonely too," she confessed. "That's all." She met James' eyes, and he nodded, keeping eye contact for a few seconds before he broke it, setting his beer down on the table. Amy heard the click of the kettle and turned around. All of a sudden, she felt James' presence behind her, and she turned her head slightly in surprise. His sweater brushed against her skin, and she nearly shivered when his scent filled her nose. Max's words flooded her mind and she grew dizzy.
James tried not to get too overwhelmingly close as he reached up to open the cupboard to the right of Amy's head. He grabbed a coffee mug and handed it to her, before grabbing the box of tea bags his mother had brought last time his parents had visited. He took a step away before leaning against the counter, and Amy was finally able to breathe somewhat properly.
"You're great, Amy," he spoke as she poured the hot water in her mug. "You won't be lonely for long."
A small smile pulled at Amy's lips, and she began to stir the teabag into the water. "Thanks," she said quietly. She couldn't meet his eyes. She had a feeling her cheeks were an embarrassing shade of pink. She focused on the stirring. She was afraid that if she spoke, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from blurting out things she didn't know if James wanted to hear.
Things like how every time he smiled - every single time, without fail - her stomach flipped like an acrobat. Or things like when he so much as looked at her for more than one second with those blue eyes, with those dark, framing lashes, she felt the same familiar feeling in her stomach begin to build.
She shook herself from her thoughts and they headed back into the living room. As James switched the channel to a movie that was playing, and Amy waited for a text from her brother, she relaxed into the chair, sipping on her tea. When she finished, she set it on the coffee table in front of her. As the movie progressed and her and James sat in comfortable silence, she felt her eyelids begin to droop, and she started to nod off.
She was woken a bit later when she felt something being draped across her body. She opened her eyes and found that James had gotten her a blanket, and had gently laid it on her. She lifted her head and saw him standing by the couch with the remote in his hands, about to turn off the TV.
"James?"
He turned. "Yeah?"
Amy held his gaze for a minute. "Thanks." He nodded with a smile, and as he turned back to the TV, she watched him. "James?" she said again. He looked back, his eyebrows raised. She pulled the blanket up to her chin before saying, "You won't be lonely for long either."
♠ ♠ ♠
:)