Do I?

What had I not seen? Things seemed to be going fine, I did my thing and she did hers but at the end of the day she was always in my arms. Or at least next to me in bed. I needed to figure out what went wrong by tomorrow or I could lose her forever.

After our win against the Canadiens Tyler asked, "Do you want come out with a few of the boys and I?"

"Sure, sounds like fun," it was always a good time when out with the boys. Ali wouldn't mind, Looch was going out which meant Brittany didn't mind.
Not long after getting to the small country bar on the outskirts of town Tyler was up on stage belting out some country song I couldn't make out through my drunken haze. When I should have been a cowboy came on, I jumped up on that stage and started belting out the words, spilling my a drink a little.

"Thank you," I slurred my words a little, jumping down from the stage where Tyler and Brad were doubled over in laughter. "I did better than you Segs!"

"Alright, time to get you home," Looch said chuckling to himself.

"You can't drive," I held onto his arm, trying not to topple over. I couldn't believe I was this drunk.

"Unlike you, I sobered up."
I climbed into the passenger side as Milan talked to Johnny, making sure he got Tyler and Brad home okay. I was going to regret this in the morning for sure.

Ali was awake on the couch when I got home, watching sports center. "Hello beautiful," I murmured before heading straight for bed.

"Where the hell have you been?" she sounded annoyed.

"Out with the boys," I stopped, leaning against the wall.

"No shit Sherlock, unlike you Milan had the decency to text me and let me know where you were."

"Woah, no need to use that kind of language. I'm sorry it was a last minute decision."

"You still could have sent me a text," she wasn't looking at me anymore.

"Come to bed with me," I asked, reaching for her hand.

"I'm good, goodnight."

"Please come baby," I tried to kiss her but she turned away.

"I said goodnight."

I shrugged it off, going to bed without her.

That night was one night I didn't want to remember, not to mention I barely remember much else from that night. But I should have realized before that night was the beginning of all our issues. I rolled over looking at the empty spot beside me. All those times I leaned in to hold her or when I would kiss her, did it even affect her? Was she just trying to keep us from fighting?
There had to be more to it than that. What else went wrong?
I sighed, giving up for the night. It was nearly one and we had to be at the airport by eight.

~

Even in sweatpants and a loose shirt Ali looked beautiful. No matter what she wore she always looked beautiful. A lot of it had to do with her smile that she always wore. Maybe that was why I never knew what was wrong.

"Good morning," I smiled.

"Morning," she said flatly.

I took the suitcase from her hand and placed it beside mine as we got ready to get on the plane. She took the window seat, still not saying a word.

"So," I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for everything."

"What exactly are you sorry for?"

"Being an ass."

"About what?" She wasn't making this easy for me.

"That time I came home drunk and pissed you off. I should have noticed then things weren't right."

She didn't say anything, just shook her head. "You still don't get it."

"What?" I'm sure I looked a little surprised.

"There is so much more to it than just that."

And just like that she shut me out again.

Once we landed and she had her headphones out I had to ask. "Can you tell me, please?"

"Like I said before if I tell you, you won't really get it."

"Are you sure you aren't just making this out to be more than it actually is?"
After I said that I wanted to kick myself in the ass. That was not the right thing to say.

"Yes Gregory, I'm just being a stupid girl who is lying about my feelings because I want attention from you. You know since I haven't hardly gotten any."

I knew there was more to it and I knew it had to do with the lack of attention I was giving her. "So it does have to do with that."

"No Greg, it has to do with the fact that ever since we got to Boston you have put the team above me. At first I was fine with it but then it got out of hand."

"What do you mean by that? You know how important hockey is to me and fitting into a new team was going to take me away from you a little."

"We aren't having this discussion here."

Once we were in the rental car I asked again, "What do you mean? Please explain it to me, I want to fix this."

"I was fine with you trying to fit in the team, I understood that. But eventually that's all you were doing. Going out with the boys, not letting me know. You could have been cheating on me and I wouldn't have even known."

"I would never cheat on you."

"If I became that clingy obnoxious type of girlfriend you would have listened to all the younger guys on the team and dumped me right then and there. The point is, I had my doubts. A few times I was convinced you were out fucking someone else."

"Ali.." I sighed. "I'm really sorry."

"See I just didn't want you to say sorry and think everything was okay and fixed. It's not. That wasn't all that was wrong?"

"You're making this a lot more difficult than it needs to be."

Tears began to form in her eyes as she looked away from me, "And this is why we need a break."

She didn't say anything else, just continued to stare out the window. I could hear her quite sobs and her sniffles. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't really an expert when it came to relationships.

Once we were at the hotel, instead of comforting her like I wanted to, I left her laying in the hotel room.