Even if it Kills Me

"Bastard!"

I was jolted awake by the sound of a door slamming and people shouting. I was in my bed, and I guessed that Uruha had carried me to my room.

I heard him swear, walking down the hallway.

"Kou-kun?" I asked, rubbing my eyes sleepily.

"He's back," he scoffed, hatefully. "He locked his door. Go back to bed."

"But-" I began to protest. Uruha just shut my door.

What's wrong with him? I thought. Why was he being so hateful towards Aoi? Isn't he supposed to be happy that his friend made it home safely?

I was still sleepy, and I knew that if Aoi locked his door, it was of no use to try to talk to him.

I woke up the next morning to a sweet scent filling the house. Yes! Kai is making his blueberry pancakes!

I dressed quickly in a Luna Sea shirt and green skinny jeans and walked downstairs.

"Yay!" I exclaimed. Kai laughed.

"Maybe Aoi will come out of his room, now!"

"Haru-chan-" I was back upstairs before he could finish his sentence.

Aoi's door was still locked, so I knocked and yelled,

"Aoi! Kai made blueberry pancakes and rice! Your favorite!"

"I don't care. Go away." I heard him growl. I was surprised at him.

"But Aoi," I started. "They're your favorite. Do you smell them? They smell delicious! Come on a-"

"Go away, DAMMIT!" he yelled. "You're annoying the fuck of of me! I don't care about the stupid pancakes!"

Tears stung my eyes and I stumbled back only to come in contact with Ruki.

"Yuu! That's enough!" Uruha bellowed, stepping out into the hallway. I knew it was serious when Uruha called Aoi "Yuu." That only happened when they were really angry with each other.

"Nobody asked you, Kouyou! Shut the fuck up!" Aoi shouted back.

"And nobody asked you to ditch Haruka in the middle of Tokyo last night! She stayed out most of the night looking for you! She was all alone! Do you know how many creeps are out at night? Something could have happened to her. You're so lucky that she's okay, because I swear I'd kill you if she had gotten hurt!"

Uruha was furious.

"Whatever."

That set Uruha off.

Uruha jiggled he door handle and kicked the door when he found that it was locked.

Ruki must have thought that I saw more than enough because he put his hand in my shoulder and gently pushed me downstairs.

"Open his damn door right now!"

I could still hear Uruha yelling at Aoi upstairs.

Ruki led me back to the kitchen and patted my shoulder reassuringly. Kai looked over at me and shot me an almost apologetic expression as he placed a plate of his pancakes and rice in front of me.

I picked at my food and chewed slowly. Ruki and Kai ate in silence. I could still hear Uruha and Aoi arguing, when a sleepy Reita walked into the kitchen and grabbed a banana from the bowl on the counter.

We all looked at him, but didn't say anything.

“I couldn’t go back to sleep with them yelling and whatnot,” he explained, breaking the silence and gesturing toward the stairs.

“Are they mad at each other because of me?” I blurted out.

They all stopped what they were doing.

Ruki put down his fork and said, “I wouldn’t say that. Aoi..just isn’t being himself. Uruha is upset with him for leaving you alone at night in the streets of Tokyo.”

“So it is because of me. Great.” I muttered sarcastically.

“Haruka,” Kai started. “You’re Uruha’s cousin. He loves you more than life and wants to watch out for you. You’re part of his family, and he’s going to be protective of you. Aoi did wrong by running off on you last night, and Uruha is upset about it. It’s not your fault that Aoi messed up.”

Ruki nodded and added, “Uruha is not the only one who is upset with him. He came home last night, and tried to physically fight Reita. Reita pinned him to the ground, and Uruha and I tried to make Aoi stop before someone got hurt.”

My eyes widened. Aoi tried to take on Reita?

“We don’t know why, or what is wrong with him.” Kai added.

“He seriously needs help right now.” Ruki said. “But he won’t let us help him, and he won’t tell us what’s wrong or what he’s doing to himself.”

“We’ll just have to find out,” I muttered, as Uruha walked into the room, obviously furious.

“Come on,” He told me, gesturing towards the hallway with his keys in hand.

“Give me a second,” I told him, grabbing my plate and washing it in the sink.

I followed my cousin out of the house and into his red car parked in the garage.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“Wherever Aoi isn’t,” he muttered.

“Please don’t drag me into this,” I begged.

He sighed. “I’m not.” He promised. “I think we just need a day out away from Aoi.”

“Okay,” I said, quietly.

“Do you want to go see Miyavi?” He asked. I brightened up a little at the sound of the samurai guitarist’s name.

“You know I do!” I replied.

Uruha smiled a little bit and pulled out of the driveway.

-----------------------------------

“Kouyou! Haruka!” Melody greeted, as she opened the door, smiling. “What a surprise! You didn’t tell us you were visiting today!”

We smiled, and Uruha said, “We didn’t know, either, to be honest.”

“I hope we didn’t come at a bad time,” I added, knowing that they must be busy.

“Of course not!” I heard, as Miyavi appeared in the doorway. “You two can never come at a bad time, you know you’re always welcome at the Ishihara home!”

We smiled as he ushered Uruha and I inside.

“How are you guys?” Miyavi asked us, as we were seated on the velvet, cushioned couches.

“Some of us have seen better days.” I mumbled sarcastically.

Miyavi frowned slightly and Melody’s face softened.

“Aoi?” He asked, concern evident on his face. “What did he do, now?”

I waved it off, but Uruha frowned and filled Miyavi and Melody in.

Melody looked apologetic and Miyavi shook his head, causing his hair to swish back and forth.

"Aoi is getting himself into a lot of trouble," he mused.

"Has he been drinking or anything? Or do you think that his problems are all emotional?"

"His eyes looked pretty red last night," Uruha said. "But I believe that he was just crying again." he finished softly. I think he truly felt sorry for his friend.

"Maybe you should give him a few days and then try to talk to him," suggested Melody, before going upstairs to check on Lovelie and Jewelie, who were down for an afternoon nap.

Miyavi nodded, agreeing with his wife. A few moments of silence ensued, until Melody returned.

"I think you should plan a day out with Aoi after you talk to him. It might be what you guys need." she said.

She then looked deep in thought, and suddenly clapped her hands together.

"I've got it," she declared.

"Miyavi and I are hosting a party after his Sendai concert this Saturday. It's perfect, because we were going to invite all of you, anyway. It'll be good for Aoi and everyone else."

"That's a good idea," Miyavi commented, beaming at his wife.

"It is," Uruha agreed. "But the hard part will be convincing Aoi to go."

"And keeping Kameko away," I added.

"Kameko Tamagawa won't be within 100 feet of the concert or the after party," Miyavi promised.

"I wouldn't allow it."

I smiled. It sounded like a good plan to me. I was glad that Uruha took me to visit Miyavi and Melody. They gave me reassurance.