Even if it Kills Me

When Uruha and I got home, we found that Aoi was not there.

"Where's Aoi?" I asked Reita.

He shrugged, and replied with, "I don't know. He left without saying anything."

"When?" I pressed.

"About a half hour after you and Uruha left," he answered.

"Okay. Thanks, Reita."

"Are you worried?" he queried, as I made my way up the stairs.

"Yeah..." I admitted.

"I admit, I am, too."

I stayed in my room until almost ten o'clock that night. The guys were either asleep, or hanging out in their rooms, so I changed into some pajamas and curled up in the living room to watch a movie. The room was black, with the exception of the glowing TV screen. Just the way I liked it.
I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, I heard the door open and something clatter onto the floor.

A burglar? I curled up in a ball, making myself as small as I possibly could. The movie must have ended long before, because the screen was completely blank, leaving me in complete darkness.

I heard some grunting and some coughing. It got closer and closer.

I silently and carefully slipped off of the couch. I tiptoed to where I knew the light switch was and I sank down against the wall as I reached my arm up to fumble with the switch.

Light flooded the room, and I almost gasped when I saw Aoi sitting on the floor with his head slumped up on one hand, and his other clutching his chest.

"Aoi?" I squeaked.

He moved his head slightly and looked at me, letting me know that he acknowledged that I was there.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked at him. His hair was matted, his skin was pale, and his eyes were glazed and bloodshot.

I carefully made my way over to him and gently touched his arm. He flinched away from my touch.

"What's happening to you?" I whispered, more to myself than Aoi.

He didn't answer, not that I expected him to. I got up, and tried to make him stand. He resisted and glared at me, but I eventually got him upstairs and into his bed.

"Is there anything you need?" I asked him gently.

"Yeah," he croaked.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"For you to get the hell out of my room!" he shouted.

I scurried away, completely shocked and taken aback. I fled to my room, locking the door behind me. I burrowed under my blankets and threw myself into a fitful sleep.

---

It was Wednesday. Melody had called the night before and asked for 'a girl's day out' with me. I accepted. I wasn't very girly, but I did like clothes, and I loved hanging out with Melody. It was easy for me to see why Miyavi fell in love with her.

We talked and laughed over lunch, and found several clothes that suited our tastes.

Miyavi was at home, spending the day with the kids. He really loved them, and would often beg Melody to take a break so he could care for them himself. He loved being a dad, there was no question about it.

Melody took me back to their house, and we weren't surprised at all to see Miyavi fast asleep on the couch, with his precious children in his arms.

Melody and I smiled at the sight. I took her bags upstairs as she kissed her sleeping husband's cheek. She was starting dinner when I got back, and I automatically helped her.

Miyavi and the kids woke up just in time for dinner. He hugged me and ruffled my hair before sitting down and devouring his food.

I tried to help Melody clear the table, but Miyavi shooed us out of the kitchen.

"I've got this," he said, pecking Melody's lips.

Melody smiled, picked up Jewelie, and went upstairs to bathe her.

Lovelie tugged at my hand and sleepily rubbed her eyes.

"Haru-chan, can you read me a story?" she begged.

"Of course, I can." I smiled and scooped her up.

I took her to her room and she ran to her bookshelf.

She chose a red book called "Kaguyahime." I remembered with a pang that Aiji used to read it to me, even after I could read by myself. It always sounded better in my brother's voice.

She handed it to me and hopped into bed.

I read to her until I was sure she had fallen asleep.

I closed the book and carefully placed it back on the shelf before heading back downstairs.

"Thank you," Miyavi mouthed, sitting on the couch with his arms around Melody.

I gave him a dorky thumbs up and sat down on the couch. I looked at the clock.

"It's getting pretty late," I said.

"You can stay with us tonight, if you want." Melody said, sweetly.

I smiled. "You know on any other occasion, I would. But, I need to check on Aoi.”

“Of course.” Miyavi said, understanding. “I hope that this blows over. You two were really close before all of this. I had actually suspected that there was something…more?” Miyavi continued, raising an eyebrow.

I laughed half-heartedly as I felt a slight blush come across my cheeks. Miyavi just smiled, and fished his keys out of his pocket.