Ruled

I kept reading on and on about Loki planning to take me away.

'Day 5: Helen had another incident. This time she killed nearly the whole school. Her mother is now keeping her in the house, refusing to let her go outside. Not that she even wants to after what she did. She simply has no restraint, no control.'

I don't remember any of this. All I remember was Loki kneeling over my mother and her talking to me, then, nothing. Everything was fuzzy. Next thing I knew, I was on this Helicarrier.

I want to continue reading, but I hear footsteps coming to the bedroom door. My guitar pick was glowing green. I put the book back and run to the corner to pretend to stretch. Loki came in the room with a smile.

"You seem to be ready for a hard day's work, sweetheart."

"I am. So why is my guitar pick glowing?"

"It glows whenever I'm near you. So you'll always know where I am or when I'm close." The guitar pick was still glowing green.

"How do I make it stop so I can concentrate?"

"You can't. The closer I am, the brighter it becomes."

"If you need to, you can take it off and give it to me while you're training. Afterwards, I'll return it to you. Are you ready for the first task?"

"Yes." His smile grew wider and he pulled up a chair and some rope.

"Now I need you to trust me. I don't mean to hurt you, but I have to tie you up."

"Why?"

"Its part of the training. You need to learn control and discipline your mind. It is essential that you do. Now no time to waste," he said leading me to the chair and tying the rope around my arms and legs.

"How does this help my learn how to control myself?"

"To learn how to control and discipline the mind, is to learn patience."

"So you're going to leave me here?"

"And when I get back, I expect you to still be there. Waiting patiently. If you try to break free of your binds, you'll have to start again and for even longer. I'm only doing this to help you, Helen. I want you to have a control over this so you can live a normal life."

"But if you want me to rule with you, I can't have a normal life. But seriously, let me go. I can't be in this state for too long. I'm serious!"

"I know, but this will help you learn patience. I'll be gone for three hours. When I get back and you're still there in that seat, we'll move on to the next task. Understand?" I nod my head and just stayed there like a good girl.

He knows I can't be confined for too long or I'll lose my temper, then I lose control and burn everyone and everything to a crisp. Yet, he does this anyway. I have to try and stay calm. I try to think of some nice memories of my mom, but they were too painful. My hands were now engulfed in blue flames.

"No no no no no! Shit! Concentrate, Helen! Stay calm. Breathe," I told myself.

I started breathing through my nose and out my mouth repeatedly. The flames began to die down. I continued to breathe in through my nose and out my mouth. I started to remember when I watched Avatar The Last Airbender. A firebender's fire bending comes from the breath. If the firebender's mind is disciplined, then they can control the fire. I guess I would consider myself a firebender.

There was an episode of Avatar that I remember perfectly. When Aang and Zuko went to seek wisdom of firebending and where the original concept of firebending came from. They sought help from the Sun Warriors who worshiped dragons and knew the secret to firebending. The secret was that fire is life. I remember Aang referring to the little fire in his hands as a little heartbeat.

I continued to breathe in through the nose and out the mouth for a good solid hour and a half. I continued thinking of the secret to firebending.

'Fire is life, not just destruction.' This quickly became my motto. Fire is now my way of life after all and I can't let it destroy me. I am the master of my own mind.

Another half an hour passed and I spot the book thats still on Loki's bed. I so desperately wanted to read some more of it, but I had to stop thinking about it. I can't let Loki read my mind and know that I've been snooping through his stuff. Only one more hour until he comes back to check up on me. Now that I don't feel anxious, I'm now bored. I wish Loki could come in now so I could have someone to talk to.

In boredom desperation, I started whistling the guitar riff to Almost by Bowling for Soup. I started losing interest in whistling after a couple minutes. I just tipped my head back and tried to take a nap. Sleep wouldn't come so I started singing.

"'Somebody once told that the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with a finger and her thumb in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Back to the rule and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so whats wrong with taking the back streets...'" I was interrupted with Loki appearing into the room. He was just laughing up a storm.

"I'm impressed, sweetheart, but whats with the singing?"

"I got bored. I wanted you here so badly."

"I'm sure you have," he said as he winked at me. I instinctively wink back.

"On to the next task," he said placing a candle right in front of me. He doesn't even bother untying me.

"Light this candle."

"Can you untie me, please?"

"You need to learn how to do these things under pressure."

"What, light candles just in case there's a blown fuse?"

"This isn't funny! Light the damn candle!" I jumped in shock by how his voiced raised. Usually he's so calm and cool, but he seems to be really losing his composure or trying to scare me into doing it. I look at the candle and its already lit. I was confused.

"Did you light that?"

"No, you did. Fear triggers it."

"Fear? If you're talking about when you yelled at me, I wasn't afraid, just surprised."

"How were you able to stay in that seat the entire time I was gone?"

"I just thought about other things."

"Like what? I need to know these things so I can help you!"

"Why do you ant to help me so badly? Why are my powers so important to you?" He said nothing.

"Was sleeping with me and acting like you cared just a trick to get me to do what you want? I wouldn't be fucking surprised!" The fire on the candle started roaring and was sky high.

"Helen, calm down. You need to control yourself." I started breathing in through my nose and out my mouth again. 'Fire is life, not just destruction.' I repeat that over and over in my head until I felt cool air again. The fire had died down. Nothing seems to be damaged.

"Very good, very impressive."

"You still haven't answered my questions."

"No, I didn't trick you. I actually do care for you believe it or not. I've watched you for years. Keeping journal entries of you everyday. I know you've been reading them. You might as well know what really happened to your mother," he said untying me. I saw blood on the ropes that were on my arms.

"Let me patch you up and I'll show you one more journal entry. It will explain everything. Its the longest entry in this book. It explains what happened..."

"I know what happened. You killed my mother and took me away." He didn't respond. He took his hands and ran them up my rope wounds. It was cold and painful, but they healed quickly.

"Just read it please," he said handing me the book.

'Day 1,465: Helen had the worst incident to date. She was on her way home when two girls were teasing her and threw rocks at her. One of them spit on her. As much as I would love to kill them, Helen did it for me. Its hard to tell how far the flames reached. But the two girls were dead, burnt to ashes. Along with a playground, an elementary school, a few office buildings, and an uncountable amount of houses, including her own. They were all ashes. I have to take her into the Helicarrier before she wakes up.'

I close the book and set it down.

"Do you understand now? I'm so sorry."

"For what? Getting me out of there when you did?"

"No, for what happened to your mother. I had to alter your memory so you wouldn't feel guilty." And it just hit me. I felt like shit for not realizing, but even more so when I found out that I killed my own mother....