Crush

I held the red cup close to my chest as I stood to the side nervously. I looked around and saw how everyone knew each other so well. I could tell they were wondering who I was. It was kind of a funny story how I ended up at the Halloween party of the famous Zacky Vengeance from Avenged Sevenfold. He walked into my salon store looking for a particular gel. He said he forgot the name of it, but if he saw it, he would recognize it. The salon store I worked at had various types, so I helped him because he looked like a very nice guy. That happened five months ago, and here I was at the party he said he threw every year. I wasn’t much of a flirter. I was very shy when it came to it and usually I said something stupid when I saw the guy I liked.

I liked Zacky. He seemed like a decent guy. We went out for coffee, but we were never alone. He always brought a friend with him. I was slightly disappointed and started to think he didn’t like me like I liked him. It was all messed up. I thought tonight could be different. I wasn’t dressed in my usual vintage dress or vintage outfit. I was conservative when it came to what I wear. It was something I got from my Aunt, whom raised me. Tonight, I was catwoman. I was dressed in leather from head to toe. Instead of all head mask, I went for just my eyes. Luckily, I had the body to wear it. I wasn’t skinny. I had curves, and I was a tad short. 5’2 was short to most since the average woman was 5’4, at least in America.

I snapped out of my trance when I saw Zacky. He was dressed as Batman. I grinned. We didn’t coordinate this. I was catwoman because our last conversation was about her. We went on talking about with one of his friends, Johnny. It was rather funny because it looked like Johnny thought we were nerds. I was a nerd when it came to comics and films like Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and I was a Shakespeare whore. I would read Jane Austin for fun. I wasn’t a total prude. I did have my fair collection of adult romance. I thoroughly enjoyed reading a good smut book.

Zacky was in front of me, and he had that smile that just made my insides melt. I wanted nothing but to kiss those lips I dreamt about.

“Hey, I’m so glad you could make it, Fiona,” he held an identical red cup like I had.

“I’m glad to be here. Great party,” I told him and then chuckled. “So, Batman. Do you think people we did it on purpose?”

“Nah,” he laughed, “I coordinated this with my friend Matt. He’s the joker.”

“Awesome,” I looked down to my cup. It was beer, and that’s what I planned to stick to. I wasn’t a drinker mostly because I easily got drunk easily. I flinched a bit when he raised his hand to tuck away a bit of my hair behind my ear. “So, do I get to meet your other friends? So far I’ve met Johnny, Jason, and Jimmy. All the J’s.”

He laughed and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go then.”

I felt at the top of the world with our hands together. His hand was so much bigger than mine. One of the biggest hands I’d ever seen. My hand looked like a child’s compared to his. The beer in my stomach swirled. I wouldn’t be able to drink with him around. My blood pumped faster. He took me to the backyard. I didn’t go there because it was a cold night. His pool looked amazing. The lights were colorful. He looked back to me with a grin.

“I want you to meet my friend, Brian. He’s single and ready to mingle,” Zacky laughed. “When I met you, I thought you two would be good together.” My throat went dry. What? “Gena agrees.”

“Gena?” I questioned.

“My girlfriend. We got back together two weeks ago. It slipped my mind, and I forgot to tell you,” he said, and just like that I felt like my world was falling apart. He got back together with her. When I met him, they were taking a break. He confided that in me on the first day. I took it as a sign as trust. Then he opened up more when I would see him once every two weeks. Then we’d text, not all day, but enough to let me think he was interested. He wasn’t though. He never was.

What was wrong with me? Why did I always go for the guys who were unavailable? I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear, but every guy fell for always went back to an ex-girlfriend. Was I so boring? Or uninteresting? Was I so undesirable?

“I’m happy for you,” I forced myself to say. Zacky took me to meet his handsome friend Brian. He was dressed as pimp. He had the cane and the big fancy hat. We were introduced and then left alone. I watched Zacky leave and a small sigh left my lips. I felt deflated like a balloon. I wanted to go home now. What was the point? Zacky was back with his girlfriend.

“What do you do, Fiona?” Brian drank from the Corona in his hand.

“I work at a salon store. We sell salon products and such,” I explained even though he probably already knew.

“Are you having fun?”

I nodded and then pretended to drink from my cup. “It’s nice to go out. I don’t go out much.”

“Why not? A pretty thing like you should always go out,” he grinned. “Seriously, you have to be pretty bold to come to a party dressed in leather. Not many girls can pull it off, but you’re one of the ones who can.”

“How do you know Zacky?” I asked.

He laughed. “He and I go way back, like high school Sophomore year. He’s the reason I’m in the band.”

“You’re in the band he’s in?”

“Lead guitarist.”

“Synyster Gates!” I nearly shouted. “Sorry, I just found out about Avenged Sevenfold, not that I’ve never heard of you guys, but I just never paid attention until I met Zacky. I feel kind of dumb that it took me a while to figure out who you are. You shouldn’t be easily forgotten since you’re so handsome.” I pressed my lips together to stop myself from saying anything more.

“You’re a talker, I like it.”

I chuckled and then drummed my fingers on the cup. “So… do you like Lord of the Rings?”

“Good movies,” he nodded.

“Harry Potter?”

“Just the movies. The books are too damn long after the third one,” he muttered. “Not that I ever read one.”

Zacky hadn’t read any books either, and I liked him. I was sure I could end up liking Brian. There was no hope with Zacky since he was taken. Brian wasn’t half bad looking, in fact, he was really, really cute. He made me laugh some more, but it was hard to concentrate on him when my eyes kept wondering to see where Zacky was. Brian and I were joined by a couple of people. I excused myself when Brian became emerged in a conversation with Jimmy. I went to the kitchen and I put the cup down. I rubbed the back of my neck.

“Need a refill?” Jason asked. He was in charge of the beer.

I shook my head. “No thanks.”

He smiled. “Maybe you need something a little stronger.”

“I think I do, Jason.”

He turned his back to me and went to the counter where there were a bunch of bottles. It went from Jager to Patron to Jose Cuervo. It was all the good stuff. I didn’t see what he poured, but then he turned back to me and he gave me the cup.

I sniffed it. “What did you put?”

“It’s best if you don’t know. There’s no date drug, trust me,” he winked.

“I do trust you. You’re a friend of Zacky’s,” I said and then drank some. It was really, really strong. It burned my throat. It was straight up tequila. “Fuck,” I coughed a big and patted my chest.

“Have a good time,” Jason said and that was the last clear thing I remembered.



I opened my eyes and my vision was blurry for several seconds. I blinked a couple of times until I was able to make out that I was looking at a clock. It read that it was just twelve in the afternoon. I groaned when a pounding pain went through my head. A hangover? God, how in the world did I get one? I was on my stomach faced down. I turned to my back. My body started to shiver from head to toe. I knew this feeling. I was going to throw up. I sat up and panicked when I didn’t recognize where I was. I wasn’t even in the leather costume. I was in shorts and a big baggy shirt. I saw a door across the bed. I ran for it and prayed it was a bathroom. My prayer was answered. It was a small bathroom. I turned on the light and made it time for the sink.

I really, really hated throwing up. The last time I was drunk enough to throw up was three years ago. It was on my 21st birthday, and it was enough for me to back off. I’ve never gotten drunk enough not to remember anything. I tried to play the events of last night. Had I gone home with someone? It didn’t feel like I had sex, and I would feel because it had been ages since I’ve slept with someone. I knew I wasn’t in my own home and that alone scared me. I spent the next few minutes throwing up. When I stopped shaking, I felt much better than before. I rinsed my mouth with some mouthwash that was there.

I went back to the bedroom to figure where I was. The bedroom door opened and Zacky stepped inside already dressed and no longer in his Batman costume. I covered my face with my hands in pure shame. He laughed and that just made me more embarrassed and a tad angry. He shouldn’t be laughing at my shame.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” he asked and sat down on the bed.

“I’m at your place, right?” I asked with a sore throat.

“Of course,” he said a bit seriously. “I would never let you go home alone at the state you were in.”

I cringed. “How bad was it?”

“You… well…” he rubbed his jaw with his hand slowly, “you confessed your love to me…” dead, please dear, merciful God please tell me I’m dead, “through a song.”

I nearly fell to the floor from feeling so dizzy. “I what?” I squeaked out in a tiny voice.

“You started to sing a love song to me… it was kind of funny, but sweet.”

“But you have a girlfriend. Gena must think horribly of me,” I muttered and felt like I wanted to go 100 feet underground.

“Actually, by then, Gena got into a huge fight and we decided to… just stop,” he chuckled. “We only got back together out of habit. You found me by myself. You were drunk off your ass. You wanted to cheer me up, so you grabbed a mic and told the DJ to play a song for you. You made the night so memorable for everyone.”

“I can’t sing though! I’m the worst singer in the world.”

“Yeah you are,” he agreed, and then stood up and crossed the room to get to me. He stood in front of me as I held on to the dresser nearby. “But it’s one of the best nights I’ve had in such a long time. After the love song, you belted out some nice classic rock songs, well not classic. You sang ‘Talk Dirty to Me’ and ‘Saints of Los Angeles’.”

“I’m a big 80’s band fan,” I said lowly. “I feel so damn embarrassed, Zacky.”

“Don’t worry. You got into my friend’s good side. They don’t hate you, but they will not let it go for the rest of your life. That’s a good thing though. It means you mean something to them.”

“I’m gonna be the drunk girl who confessed her love to you,” I tried to look at him in the eyes, but that was difficult. “I know… I know you see me only as a friend, Zack. I’m sorry I embarrassed you like that. I have no memory of it, but I’m sorry.”

“Oh, I have video,” he grinned and then turned into a sincere smile. “Don’t be sorry. I really liked it. I realized… well… I realized something.”

“What?”

“We have a lot in common. I feel very comfortable around you. I’ve known you a short bit, but it feels like it’s been ages, ya know?”

I nodded my head because I felt the same way. He leaned in close enough that our foreheads touched. I felt as though my world was twirling and twirling and it made me dizzy. He made me dizzy in all the right ways.

“Fiona, please stick around. I can’t be in a relationship because I gotta straighten some shit out, but I want you to be there when I’m ready,” he whispered and then kissed me on the lips. It felt like coming to life. If this was a movie, then birds would be singing around us. There would a rainbow over us, and a choir singing for us. I felt at top of the world with a simple kiss on the lips. There was no tongue, but there was passion. The kind of passion I had envisioned we would have. It was natural, but raw and powerful. He pulled away. “Much better than the sloppiness of last night.”

“Zack!” I let out a frustrated sound. “I kissed you whilst drunk?”

He laughed. “You did. You took me by surprise, and boy… did you know how to use your tongue.”

I buried my face on his chest. “This is the single most embarrassing day of my life. How can I ever show my face again?”

“Because I’ll be by your side,” he murmured. “C’mon, Fiona. I got your back, okay?”

I nodded my head unable to say anything for a while. He only rubbed my back and held me in his arms. It felt good, but I wanted to be in bed. I told him, and he took me back to the bed. I asked who changed me, and he said it had been Johnny’s and Matt’s girlfriends who had changed me. The Catwoman costume was in his room. What I was wearing were his clothes.

He went to bed with me.

“Uh, so what are we?” I asked.

“Friends, for now?”

“Okay… yeah that’s okay… for now,” I giggled. “I can’t believe you tried to set me up with your friend.”

“I’ll admit it felt wrong the moment I did it. I convinced myself it was a way for me to get over you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had a crush on you, but it felt so childish and I thought it wasn’t real. And then… I saw you and Brian and I had the hollowest feeling inside,” he shifted closer to me. “I think Gena noticed how my eyes always went around and I tried to find you. I just needed to make sure you were okay, and that… you weren’t making out with a friend of mine.”

I giggled and snuggled closer to him. “I looked for you as well, even when I was with Brian. I guess he noticed because he didn't say anything when I left to the kitchen. That’s where Jason gave me the tequila. Tequila is like truth serum to me.”

“I’m glad it loosened you up. I wouldn’t have had the courage to admit what I felt for you.”

“All thanks to tequila,” I laughed. “Funny how things work out. The morning of yesterday I thought what I felt was one sided. You always brought a friend when we hung out. I thought you were sending a message like ‘we can’t be alone together so you don’t get the idea that I like you that way’.”

“Sort of, in a way. I have trouble not… taking a leap of faith. My friends were there to make sure I didn’t ask you to be my girlfriend, and sort of see if you’d be able to hang with us. You’d be surprised how many girls have broken up with Johnny and Jason because they can’t hang.”

“I think I did well.”

“You passed with flying colors. Matt even approved of you.”

“I met him?” I raised my head to look into his eyes.

“You… ahem… were grinding with him and his girlfriend. He had two hot girls, and you… almost kissed… his girl.”

“Dear… fucking… God, seriously?!”

“Cereal, seriously. I think all the men around fell in love with you then.”

“Damn, I do stupid shit.”

“You made the party come alive, so don’t worry about it,” he lifted my chin and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him longer and less tenderly than before. “We should stop…” he said but continued to kiss me.

“You’re right,” I said and nibbled on his bottom lip. “If we wanna be friends…” I tugged on his hair, “we should stop.” I tore my lips away from his. “Waiting is going to suck.”

“It is, but… we should get to know each other more. I hate to jump into this and then have to lose you because I said something stupid. You have to get to know.”

“You’re right.”

He grinned. “We’re on a right path if you’ll just admit that every time.”

I laughed and then kissed him again. “We’ll see about that.”