Take a Breath, Don't It Sound So Easy?

"You know, you and I should stay friends!" Mila Kunis playing 'Jamie' says sarcastically.
"Really?" Parker says surprised.
"No, go fuck yourself." Jamie shoots back without missing a beat.

"God I love this movie." I say while watching it with all the guys. They tolerate it because even though they'll never admit it, they used to be in love with N'SYNC years ago, and Mila Kunis is sexy.

"Mmm...Mila." Jack says while practically drooling in the chair on my left. I roll my eyes, confirming exactly what I thought in my head.

I look over at Alex and he's got a nonchalant expression on his face. "I swear if that crazy bitch Justin was gonna fuck did that to me I'd shit a brick." Alex says in a very blunt, monotone voice.

Everyone laughs, but I know there's something up with him. He looked so deep in thought, and God if I keep looking into those brown eyes I'll get twice as lost. I'm shaken out of my trance when Alex gets up quickly with a slight attitude, which to most would be hidden, but I know better. He heads into the kitchen and I'm quick on his heels.

"Hey," I say putting a hand on his forearm, hoping to calm him down or at the very least stop him. He turns away from me, but I keep my hand there, gently running my fingers along his arm. "What's wrong?" I turn him to look at me, but I don't force him.

Alex wouldn't talk at first. He just kept looking at the floor with that look in his eyes, but I was still touching him. Finally he looks at me and takes the wrist that has been circling his skin for about a minute now. Without saying a word, he pulls me into him, and I'm curled into his chest, his face buried in my hair.

"Jasey," Alex whispers my name so softly I wasn't even sure if he'd really said it. "Jasey I think you need to go home." He winces and tries to hold me tighter as I pull away but I break free.

"What?" I say harsh and hurt. "Why? Alex, you KNOW this is everything I've ever wanted! The music, the travelling, photographing you guys? It's all I want." With the tears coming I have to hold my breath to keep from letting them spill.

He looks so pained, "Jasey, I can't be around you!"

I just look dumbfounded at his face, and walk straight out of the bus. I don't even know where I'm going but I'm so fucking angry and hurt that the tears just keep coming. I keep walking until I've come out of the lot where the bus was parked.

We were still in Where-ever-the-fuck Washington and all there was after the parkinglot was the highway, so I walked along it for God knows how long, crying until it started to rain. I just kept going and going, knowing that no one would come after me. I had left my phone on the bus but I had my watch on. I had no idea what time it was when I left, but I was guessing by the soreness in my feet that I had been walking for about an hour.

I heard rushing water, so I carefully made my way down the sloping hill on the side of the highway and to the river. I sat on the bank and leaned my head back until I felt myself come close to falling asleep. When I woke up from the half sleep I found myself in, I was wonderstruck by the scene in front of me. The sun was setting and it was slightly overcast, causing incredible lighting over the river and plants. In my blind rage, I hadn't even noticed the waterfall about a mile down the river. My breath caught in my throat and I itched for my camera or at least my phone, but I couldn't go back. I wouldn't go back.

I began to kick rocks along the river and slowly make my way to the waterfall. I really wanted to see it in its prime before I had to head back over the highway to find somewhere to go when it gets dark.

"Jasey," I hear Alex whisper my name again. I can't breathe. I don't want to re-live this again. "Jasey." I hear a little louder this time. "Fuck! JASEY RAE!" Alex yells as loud as he can, and I turn my head to the direction of his voice. I stay silent, and still. "Goddamnit! Jasey, please, just please fucking be here!" He sounds like he's about to cry.

I inch up the hill hesitantly, and with little sound. "JASEY! Jasey is that you? Please say something if that's you!" I can hear him a little closer.

"Alex." I say louder than usual, but not a full blown yell. Mostly because I'm shocked he's here. Alex runs through the clearing and doesn't stop until he sees me. He only slows, moderately, and then pulls me into his arms, buring his face into me just as before.

"God Jasey! You just scared the shit out of me!" I know he's about to cry now, and I'll let him, because I am too.

"You said you can't be around me, Alex...what the fuck is wrong with me...?" I pull tighter.

"Nothing at all, Jasey. You aren't stupid. I know you aren't, so don't pretend like you don't know." He says so exhaustedly.

"Don't know what?" I don't want to get my hopes up, but I have a hunch on what he's going to say. But he doesn't say. He just kisses me, and it's like our first kisses all over again. We are so hesitant, so fragile, like if we go too fast or get too carried away, it'll all collapse at our feet.