Darling, Do You Wish We'd Fall in Love?

Fuck!

Why doesn’t he notice me? I mean, it’s so obvious, I’m looking right at him – I know it’s creepy, but I can't help it -he’s so perfect and gorgeous. But who am I kidding? Of course he doesn’t notice me, who would? I’m just this tall,awkward lanky kid. And he’s the dusty blonde with perfect everything, who works in the mall foodcourt.

Well, he does notice me; it’s just not in the way I would like. The only words we’ve exchanged are, “Hi, may I take your order?” and “um, yeah....I-I’ll have the classic burrito and an Ice Tea,” not exactly the most stimulating conversation. But what can I do? Whenever I want to say anything, besides my order, his beautiful caramel eyes make me forgot everything and my heartbeat quickens to a scary rate. So, the only solution –for me, anyway- is to stare at him from the table I’m at, while my two friends talk about something I really don’t give a shit about.

“Hey, man? Are you even listening to me?”

“Of course he’s not, Rian. He’s being a creepy stalker again” Zack says from the seat opposite me.

Hey! I’m not being a stalker, okay? I’m merely.....observing ” I refute, snapping out of my daze.

“Observing?” scoff Rian. “You haven’t stopped looking at him since we’ve sat down”

I ignore my friend’s snide comments about my flirting techniques – yes, staring is a flirting technique- and pick at my food, when I see my crush looking my way.

“I just don’t know why you can’t just go up there and ask him out already?” remarks Zack, as if it’s that’s easy. “I mean, how else do you expect to get with him if you don’t make your move?”

“Because, Zack, the only thing I know about him is his name. I don’t even know if he’s gay” I frown at my food, suddenly losing my appetite.

“Believe me when I say .....Whatever his name is- is gay” chimes in Rian with a smirk.

“His name’s Alex.”I say softly, looking over Zack’s to stare at Alex again.

My two best friends just exchange ‘the look’, and stare back at me. I know they think I’m crazy for not just walking up to him and making out with him, right here in the foodcourt – oh how wish I could – but I’m just too shy.

“Come on, lets go. My mum was expecting me home 20 minutes ago.” My mum hates the fact that I spend way too much time at the mall and generally anywhere, except school. I need more freedom in my life, I’m 17 and I can’t even hang out at Zack’s house without her freaking out.

I take one more glance at Alex, before Zack finally pushes me out of the foodcourt.
********
I take out my keys and insert them into the lock and I hear the deadbolt turn, before I push the door open and step inside. I can hear my mum busy in the kitchen and the living room television on; it’s probably May watching one of her mind numbing teen dramas.

I walk into the kitchen and take a seat at the breakfast bar and wait for my mum to turn around.

“Oh, honey you’re finally home.” I hear my mum’s chirpy voice when she turns around. “Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes.” She says with a smile.

I’m not hungry, mum. I ate the mall with Zack and Rian, earlier.” Her face falls at my

confession and she nods in acceptance. I know the reason for the frown on her face, and it’s because of me. I’ve been kind of distant from my family lately, while I wallow in self-pity about my lack of confidence to talk to Alex – I know that’s really self-fish.

“I think I’ll just go to my room and start on my homework.”

“Okay son, you know I love you?”

“Yeah, I love you too” I reassure her with a small smile.

I walk up the stairs and enter the second room to my left – my bedroom. I sling my bag off my shoulders -leaving it by my desk- and flop onto my bed. How can I even think of doing homework, when I can’t stop thinking about the way Alex smiled at me when he handed me my order? It doesn’t matter, though, it’s Friday, and no one does their homework on a Friday night.

Seconds later I hear my cell phone vibrate and blast out a familiar tone. I reluctantly get off my bed and search through my bag for my phone. When I finally find it, I see that I have a text from Rian.

“Sup? Wanna go this party with me and Zack tmrw?”

“I don’t know, Ri. I much rather stay at home and play video games” I respond quickly.

“Man, you can’t sit in your house and mope all weekend.”

I ponder Rian’s words of wisdom and think ‘maybe, a good party and getting drunk is what I need to get myself out of this rut’ before sending off my reply.

“Fine, I’ll go”

“Great, Zack and I will pick you up at 7”

“Kay, see you then”

I flop back onto my bed and cover my face with my hands; hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
********
It’s almost 7, and only seconds away from when Rian and Zack pick me up to head to this party somewhere. I probably should have asked who was hosting it, because I’m pretty sure I won’t know anyone -aside from Rian and Zack.

I look at my reflection in the mirror in my room and let out a dramatic sigh as I take in my sad attempt to dress up – Why did agree to go again?

Oh right, to try and forget about Alex.

Hours beforehand, I was rummaging through my wardrobe and trying on numerous outfits. This has led to decide on wearing my favourite black skinnies with a simple white V-neck, and my black leather jacket thrown over top. “Well, this is as good as it’s going to get” I say aloud to my reflection.

I soon get a text from Zack, stirring me from my thoughts, saying they’re outside. I grab my wallet and phone and make my way downstairs.

“Mum, I’m going out now,” I call out as I’m putting on my converse.

“Okay, makes sure not to stay out too late and call me if you need anything,” I roll my eyes at my mum’s goodbye, before stepping out the door and heading to Rian’s car. Seriously, who cares if I’m out late? It’s Saturday night.

“Hey, Jacky; ready for a fun night?” I hear Rian ask as I get into the car.

“I guess so. Whose party is it anyways?

“It’s that guy Martin Johnson’s party. You know, he’s in our History class” Zack answers from the passenger seat.

“Oh, that guy. He’s cool,” I respond putting on my seatbeat, before Rian backs out of my driveway.
********
We arrive, minutes later, at a house that looks like it’s windows are vibrating from the loud music coming from within. ‘Well, here we go’ I think as I step out of the car and head up the path to Martin’s house.

Rian knocks on the door twice, when no one answers – probably because of the music- we find the door to be unlocked and enter the house to find kids grinding and groping each other in the living room to loud over played pop music.

“Great this just what I need, hot sweaty teenagers grinding each other in front of me” I mutter to myself.

“Come on, lets go the kitchen and get something drink!” Zack has to yell over the music for us to hear him.

We reach the kitchen and a red plastic cup -filled with who-knows-what- is forced into my hand by Zack. I then leave Rian and Zack in the kitchen to talk to Martin as I head back out toward the living room. I don’t really know Martin that well, and I’d just feel awkward standing there while they make conversation.

When I get to the living again, I decide to pass up on being groped by someone I don’t know, and opt to lean against a wall instead. As I take in my surroundings my eyes land on someone familiar, someone with dusty blonde hair and caramel eyes. Alex?

My eyes widen at my sudden realisation.

No, it can’t be Alex; he doesn’t go to our school. But then I see the boy smile, and okay, it’s definitely him. He’s sitting on the couch talking to some guy I don’t know, so I assume he’s his friend. And it's like I'm in the foodcourt all over again; staring at him while he makes dramatic hand gestures to help his conversation.

Fuck, so much for forgetting about Alex tonight.