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Airplanes
2
I sat on the couch, watching the lovely five year old sing along with the television.
I remembered the days of complete innocence. I could wake up whenever my soul desired or I could cry to get a cookie. Now, I am seventeen and crying is not good for my reputation.
Mrs. Ramirez asked me last minute to watch, Amarelle. She said her son is getting out of jail today. She seemed very confident, the exact opposite her husband. He said his son was a disgrace.
and a bad influence. Mrs. Ramirez frowned and her eyes slowly watered.
I have seen Ricky around the school. I know he hangs around with my step sisters crew. Drinking and parting all night and day. I guess he fully deserved his punishment. I don’t know him as a friend or even an acquaintance I have just heard about all the things he has done. Nick, my best friend loved him. She attends all the parties he throws but has never came within arms reach of him. But now she claims she is over him.
I heard the car slowly pull up. Amarelle jumped up and ran to the window.
“Rickie is home!”
I walked up to the window behind her and saw Ricky. He looked a lot more muscular than he did the last time I saw him in school. His gray eyes looked worried.
Amarelle ran up to the door and opened it. Ricky rushed in and swooped her up, swinging her in the air.
“ There’s my Amarelle!”
“I’m here! I’m here!”
It was so cute. She looks up to him. Mrs. Ramirez stood at the door, her husband by her side. Their facial expressions were exact opposites. Mrs. Ramirez smiled. Mr. Ramirez frowned.
“All right. All right. Put her down before she heaves all over you.” Mrs. Ramirez said.
Ricky put her down and looked up at me. I froze. His gray eyes burned into my own hazel ones.
“Oh, Ricky, this is Darien, our babysitter. Darien, this is Ricky.”
His gray eyes continued to stare at me. “We go to the same school, right?”
I nodded.
“Nice to see you again.”
“Thanks.”
Mr. Ramirez cleared his throat and Ricky looked away. I sighed.
“Look, Air. I told you my brother was coming! Now you know him.”
I went down to Amarelle’s level. “Yes I do.”
“Why don’t you stay for dinner? Call up your folks. Tell them to come.” Mrs. Ramirez looked really happy to have the whole family together.
I looked at Mr. Ramirez. “Is it okay?”
He looked away from the silent stare down he was having with his son and nodded. “Sure. Call ‘em up.”
A small dinner was laid out on the table. My mom dragged Ice, my stepsister, and Daniel, my stepdad with her.
I was a little late sitting at the table and was forced to sit beside Ricky. I don’t know what is more intimidating, his eyes or the drifting smell of is cologne. My nerves are bouncing around just sitting beside him.
He didn’t speak. He avoided all eye contact with everyone at the table. Even Ice, and they are party partners.
Mom smiled and cheerfully ate her dinner. I couldn’t eat this food. The meat was red and barely looked done. I ate all my vegetables and smiled when everyone eyed my plate. Ricky didn’t eat anything but his potatoes and bread. Prison food can do that to you.
Dinner was horrible. No one talked or even looked at each other. With the exception of mom and Mrs. Ramirez, who chatted about everything else in the world.
“So how long are you to do the community service?”Dad asked.
“I have six months to do fifteen hundred hours. I have to do my service according to my probation officer.”
His voice was deep and gloomy. Almost embarrassed.
After dinner, everyone walked out to the back patio. Ricky stood off to one corner staring into the darkness. He concentrated his eyes on the stars.
“Beautiful, huh?”
He turned and nodded.
“You okay?”
“No. I’m not.”
“You want to talk about it?”
He looked at me, staring into my eyes again. “I don’t know if I should trust you. I found out that I had a couple of back stabbers the day before I went to jail. I don’t know who to trust.”
I shoved my shoe into a hole in the wood, wishing I could squeeze my way out and bolt down the street. “You can trust me,” I spoke so softly, I almost thought he didn’t hear me.
“I dreaded coming back here. Dad always expected me to be prefect and I-I’m not.”
“I understand.”
His gray eyes turned angry.
“How can you? Your life is a game! No one expects you to do anything wrong! And you’re telling me you understand? Take that bull crap to someone else!”
Part of me wanted to be mad. Part of me wanted to continue talking to him. But my common sense told me I’m in way over my head. I turned and walked away.
On the way back home, I regretted even bothering to be his friend. My life is not a game. Everyday I sit in my room and wish I could have someone else’s life. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have friends who weren’t just my friends for my homework. Or to have a boyfriend who cares and loves me and wasn’t just with me for sex. A game? He is crazy. I was just trying to be a good person. And he yells at me. I don’t want to ever see him again.
I went to my room and collapsed on my bed falling into a deep sleep. But I can’t shake the anger in those deep gray eyes.
“Maybe he is just crazy.” I heard myself say in my sleep.
I don’t know why I entered into biology class looking for Ricky. He said what he had to. No big deal. I took my seat beside Nick and Jeremy, my best friends. I looked up at the teacher, trying my best to listen to what she spoke but all I could hear was Ricky’s words.
I am not a game. Not a game.
“Good morning, class. I am going to assign you your partners this morning.”
“Nick Austin and Greg Appleby.” Nick squirmed beside me. She hates Greg.
“Paula Dinero and-”
Ricky walked into the room. My heart sped up.
“Glad you could join us, Mr. Ramirez. Take a seat.”
His gray eyes caught mines for a second before I looked away. A game.
Nick leaned toward me. “You know him?”
“Not really, I babysit his little sister.” She frowned slightly.
My life may be a game but I am still trustworthy.
With his presence, I couldn’t focus on who is partnered with who.
“Darien Shively and Ricardo Ramirez.”
The full classroom fell in silence. Everyone was completely shocked that the teacher would partner me with Ricky. I feel like I am about to vomit.
Your life is a game!
“Okay, men, move beside your female partners. Get used to this person because they are going to be your best friend until the end of the school year.”
Ricky slowly stood and walked over to me. He sat in Greg’s seat.
“First project is easy. Dissect this frog. Simple, really.”
She passed out the kits. Ricky’s jaw tightened.
The silence between us was almost unbearable. We communicated the information to one another, but our words had no substance, no meaning. We were like two ghosts.72
“Conclusion?” Ricky asked.
“This frog died because he was rolled over.”
“Reasoning behind that conclusion?”
“His spine is crushed and parts of it are wedged in his heart.”
Ricky wrote it all down. We are the first pair finished because we didn’t talk about anything other than how this frog died.
“New record. You guys can talk amongst yourselves.”
We sat totally quiet, looking in different directions. I looked at Nick and Greg arguing then at Jeremy and Felicia flirting over a open frog.
I looked back over to Ricky, who was staring at Carmen, his ex-girlfriend, flirting with Juan, his best friend. I almost felt sorry for him. With him going to jail, he lost the last of any approval he had from his father, his girlfriend is now with his best friend, and he has to deal with whatever he was exposed to in jail.
I think anyone else’s life would look like a game compared to that.
Ricky looked hurt. Then his eyes flashed anger. I prayed he wouldn’t do anything that would make him look like a bigger criminal than he already does. I do have to deal with him until the end of the school year. Another ninety- something days.
I sighed quietly and Ricky forced his eyes away from his back stabbing friends. The anger in his eyes melted to sorrow then froze over to blankness.
Honestly, I do understand. I lost things back to back in my life. My dad died. His last words to me were, “You little spoiled brat!” I cried when he called me that, then, like, the next second, he was gone. At first I was sad, then angry, then I melted into self-pity, then I froze over. I wasn’t angry I just looked it. I don’t want to tell Ricky I understand because all my life, all my struggles, all my triumphs, and all my defeats are just one big joke to him.
But jokes are supposed to be funny. This one isn’t.
All my classes were one big blur. I seriously couldn’t focus on anything.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Air. What are you doing later?”
“I don’t know.”
“You can be part of my party. Everyone is going to be there. You can be, too.”
Ice’s words jumbled into one another. She wants to throw another party after what happened at her last one? Did Ricky’s car accident teach her anything about the dangers of wild school parties?
“I don’t want to be part of anything.”
“Okay. Bye.”
I merged my BMW into the left lane.
What was Ms. Benson thinking? Partnering me up with Ricky? I made the left turn on to the interstate.
I arrived home and saw the u-shaped drive way full. Cars and motorcycles were jammed into the small space. Inside, the place was jammed, I sighed and pushed my way to my room.
Ice doesn’t care about anything, I thought as I put in my headphones, just a spoiled little brat.
I woke up at about six.
Mom and Daniel’s voice boomed from downstairs. They obviously walked into her party. I almost laughed.
The stairs creaked under my weight as I made my way downstairs. The perfectly white rug was a rainbow of vomit and spilled drinks. It reeked of sweat and barf. I avoided the stains and made my way to the kitchen where all the drama was taking place.
Daniel smiled when he saw me. Mom looked up and smiled as well.
“What is going on?”
“Ice decided to throw a party but she had her time wrong. We walked in and caught her in our liquor cabinet, smoking a joint with my last bottle of Merlot in her hand.” He turned his attention back to Ice.
Ice finally got caught. I never thought the wild parties would come to a stop. I feel sorry for her, though. She is going to be grounded until kingdom come.
As I made my way outside, my thoughts ran back to Ricky. He must be mad he finally got caught. I would be. He seemed hurt when he saw his best friend flirting with his girlfriend. I would be. I bet now he is just sitting at home, trying to put back together the broken pieces of his life.
I remembered the days of complete innocence. I could wake up whenever my soul desired or I could cry to get a cookie. Now, I am seventeen and crying is not good for my reputation.
Mrs. Ramirez asked me last minute to watch, Amarelle. She said her son is getting out of jail today. She seemed very confident, the exact opposite her husband. He said his son was a disgrace.
and a bad influence. Mrs. Ramirez frowned and her eyes slowly watered.
I have seen Ricky around the school. I know he hangs around with my step sisters crew. Drinking and parting all night and day. I guess he fully deserved his punishment. I don’t know him as a friend or even an acquaintance I have just heard about all the things he has done. Nick, my best friend loved him. She attends all the parties he throws but has never came within arms reach of him. But now she claims she is over him.
I heard the car slowly pull up. Amarelle jumped up and ran to the window.
“Rickie is home!”
I walked up to the window behind her and saw Ricky. He looked a lot more muscular than he did the last time I saw him in school. His gray eyes looked worried.
Amarelle ran up to the door and opened it. Ricky rushed in and swooped her up, swinging her in the air.
“ There’s my Amarelle!”
“I’m here! I’m here!”
It was so cute. She looks up to him. Mrs. Ramirez stood at the door, her husband by her side. Their facial expressions were exact opposites. Mrs. Ramirez smiled. Mr. Ramirez frowned.
“All right. All right. Put her down before she heaves all over you.” Mrs. Ramirez said.
Ricky put her down and looked up at me. I froze. His gray eyes burned into my own hazel ones.
“Oh, Ricky, this is Darien, our babysitter. Darien, this is Ricky.”
His gray eyes continued to stare at me. “We go to the same school, right?”
I nodded.
“Nice to see you again.”
“Thanks.”
Mr. Ramirez cleared his throat and Ricky looked away. I sighed.
“Look, Air. I told you my brother was coming! Now you know him.”
I went down to Amarelle’s level. “Yes I do.”
“Why don’t you stay for dinner? Call up your folks. Tell them to come.” Mrs. Ramirez looked really happy to have the whole family together.
I looked at Mr. Ramirez. “Is it okay?”
He looked away from the silent stare down he was having with his son and nodded. “Sure. Call ‘em up.”
******
A small dinner was laid out on the table. My mom dragged Ice, my stepsister, and Daniel, my stepdad with her.
I was a little late sitting at the table and was forced to sit beside Ricky. I don’t know what is more intimidating, his eyes or the drifting smell of is cologne. My nerves are bouncing around just sitting beside him.
He didn’t speak. He avoided all eye contact with everyone at the table. Even Ice, and they are party partners.
Mom smiled and cheerfully ate her dinner. I couldn’t eat this food. The meat was red and barely looked done. I ate all my vegetables and smiled when everyone eyed my plate. Ricky didn’t eat anything but his potatoes and bread. Prison food can do that to you.
Dinner was horrible. No one talked or even looked at each other. With the exception of mom and Mrs. Ramirez, who chatted about everything else in the world.
“So how long are you to do the community service?”Dad asked.
“I have six months to do fifteen hundred hours. I have to do my service according to my probation officer.”
His voice was deep and gloomy. Almost embarrassed.
After dinner, everyone walked out to the back patio. Ricky stood off to one corner staring into the darkness. He concentrated his eyes on the stars.
“Beautiful, huh?”
He turned and nodded.
“You okay?”
“No. I’m not.”
“You want to talk about it?”
He looked at me, staring into my eyes again. “I don’t know if I should trust you. I found out that I had a couple of back stabbers the day before I went to jail. I don’t know who to trust.”
I shoved my shoe into a hole in the wood, wishing I could squeeze my way out and bolt down the street. “You can trust me,” I spoke so softly, I almost thought he didn’t hear me.
“I dreaded coming back here. Dad always expected me to be prefect and I-I’m not.”
“I understand.”
His gray eyes turned angry.
“How can you? Your life is a game! No one expects you to do anything wrong! And you’re telling me you understand? Take that bull crap to someone else!”
Part of me wanted to be mad. Part of me wanted to continue talking to him. But my common sense told me I’m in way over my head. I turned and walked away.
On the way back home, I regretted even bothering to be his friend. My life is not a game. Everyday I sit in my room and wish I could have someone else’s life. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have friends who weren’t just my friends for my homework. Or to have a boyfriend who cares and loves me and wasn’t just with me for sex. A game? He is crazy. I was just trying to be a good person. And he yells at me. I don’t want to ever see him again.
I went to my room and collapsed on my bed falling into a deep sleep. But I can’t shake the anger in those deep gray eyes.
“Maybe he is just crazy.” I heard myself say in my sleep.
*******
I don’t know why I entered into biology class looking for Ricky. He said what he had to. No big deal. I took my seat beside Nick and Jeremy, my best friends. I looked up at the teacher, trying my best to listen to what she spoke but all I could hear was Ricky’s words.
I am not a game. Not a game.
“Good morning, class. I am going to assign you your partners this morning.”
“Nick Austin and Greg Appleby.” Nick squirmed beside me. She hates Greg.
“Paula Dinero and-”
Ricky walked into the room. My heart sped up.
“Glad you could join us, Mr. Ramirez. Take a seat.”
His gray eyes caught mines for a second before I looked away. A game.
Nick leaned toward me. “You know him?”
“Not really, I babysit his little sister.” She frowned slightly.
My life may be a game but I am still trustworthy.
With his presence, I couldn’t focus on who is partnered with who.
“Darien Shively and Ricardo Ramirez.”
The full classroom fell in silence. Everyone was completely shocked that the teacher would partner me with Ricky. I feel like I am about to vomit.
Your life is a game!
“Okay, men, move beside your female partners. Get used to this person because they are going to be your best friend until the end of the school year.”
Ricky slowly stood and walked over to me. He sat in Greg’s seat.
“First project is easy. Dissect this frog. Simple, really.”
She passed out the kits. Ricky’s jaw tightened.
The silence between us was almost unbearable. We communicated the information to one another, but our words had no substance, no meaning. We were like two ghosts.72
“Conclusion?” Ricky asked.
“This frog died because he was rolled over.”
“Reasoning behind that conclusion?”
“His spine is crushed and parts of it are wedged in his heart.”
Ricky wrote it all down. We are the first pair finished because we didn’t talk about anything other than how this frog died.
“New record. You guys can talk amongst yourselves.”
We sat totally quiet, looking in different directions. I looked at Nick and Greg arguing then at Jeremy and Felicia flirting over a open frog.
I looked back over to Ricky, who was staring at Carmen, his ex-girlfriend, flirting with Juan, his best friend. I almost felt sorry for him. With him going to jail, he lost the last of any approval he had from his father, his girlfriend is now with his best friend, and he has to deal with whatever he was exposed to in jail.
I think anyone else’s life would look like a game compared to that.
Ricky looked hurt. Then his eyes flashed anger. I prayed he wouldn’t do anything that would make him look like a bigger criminal than he already does. I do have to deal with him until the end of the school year. Another ninety- something days.
I sighed quietly and Ricky forced his eyes away from his back stabbing friends. The anger in his eyes melted to sorrow then froze over to blankness.
Honestly, I do understand. I lost things back to back in my life. My dad died. His last words to me were, “You little spoiled brat!” I cried when he called me that, then, like, the next second, he was gone. At first I was sad, then angry, then I melted into self-pity, then I froze over. I wasn’t angry I just looked it. I don’t want to tell Ricky I understand because all my life, all my struggles, all my triumphs, and all my defeats are just one big joke to him.
But jokes are supposed to be funny. This one isn’t.
All my classes were one big blur. I seriously couldn’t focus on anything.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Air. What are you doing later?”
“I don’t know.”
“You can be part of my party. Everyone is going to be there. You can be, too.”
Ice’s words jumbled into one another. She wants to throw another party after what happened at her last one? Did Ricky’s car accident teach her anything about the dangers of wild school parties?
“I don’t want to be part of anything.”
“Okay. Bye.”
I merged my BMW into the left lane.
What was Ms. Benson thinking? Partnering me up with Ricky? I made the left turn on to the interstate.
I arrived home and saw the u-shaped drive way full. Cars and motorcycles were jammed into the small space. Inside, the place was jammed, I sighed and pushed my way to my room.
Ice doesn’t care about anything, I thought as I put in my headphones, just a spoiled little brat.
******
I woke up at about six.
Mom and Daniel’s voice boomed from downstairs. They obviously walked into her party. I almost laughed.
The stairs creaked under my weight as I made my way downstairs. The perfectly white rug was a rainbow of vomit and spilled drinks. It reeked of sweat and barf. I avoided the stains and made my way to the kitchen where all the drama was taking place.
Daniel smiled when he saw me. Mom looked up and smiled as well.
“What is going on?”
“Ice decided to throw a party but she had her time wrong. We walked in and caught her in our liquor cabinet, smoking a joint with my last bottle of Merlot in her hand.” He turned his attention back to Ice.
Ice finally got caught. I never thought the wild parties would come to a stop. I feel sorry for her, though. She is going to be grounded until kingdom come.
As I made my way outside, my thoughts ran back to Ricky. He must be mad he finally got caught. I would be. He seemed hurt when he saw his best friend flirting with his girlfriend. I would be. I bet now he is just sitting at home, trying to put back together the broken pieces of his life.