Head On Collision

He sat for ten minutes or so tuning his guitar, and strumming a few chords. Then he stopped and turned to me. He said "Are you ready?" and I replied with a weak "yes." "It's called lullabies." He said and began singing.

"Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -
it could be for the last time and it's not right.
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.
Alone and far from home we'll find you...
Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.
Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
Forevers never seemed so long as when you're not around
it's like a piece of me is missing.
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?
Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to s...
Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)
I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

By the time he'd finished this beautiful, heartfelt melody, I was in tears. Tears were streaming down my face like a waterfall and they just wouldn't stop. I managed to croak out "That.. Was... B-b-b-beautiful, Al-Alex."

He placed his guitar down, came over to me and hugged me. I didn't want to let him go. I really didn't know how he kept so strong, he didn't even cry when he sang the song and I was there in floods of tears. Maybe he just didn't want me to see him break down. I looked up to him, I've always wanted to be as strong as he is. I looked him in the eye and said "You don't have to stay strong for me. I'm not bothered if you cry. It's your brother after all."
He just simply replied back with "No. I can't." then there was just a silence that was so loud, it could deafen someone.

Out of nowhere, he started talking. Obviously it was all playing on his mind. "He always told me 'If you want to be a man, you never cry.' I was always close to him, you know? It was just a silly argument.. We would have normally gotten through it. So why didn't he forgive me this time? Why didn't give me the chance to say I was sorry to his face?" I was asking questions that were impossible to answer. I wanted to find the answers, I wanted to rid him of all his pain, but I couldn't.
"If I could find out the answers for and take your pain away I would. You can talk to me and shit like this, I promise I will always be here for you, Alex.." I replied back to him.

We heard this voice shout upstairs, a woman's voice.

"ALEX! COME DOWN HERE PLEASE, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING." I'm guessing that was his mum. She didn't know I was here.. What do I do?

"OKAY, COMING." He shouted back.

"Lauren, just stay here. I'm guessing your mum's told my mum that your missing. If that's what it is, then I'll tell her you're here and I'll come up for you okay? Just try and not show that you've been crying. I don't want my mum asking questions. I love you." He said to me.

"Okay, I love you too."

He went downstairs and I was left alone in the guy who I likes bedroom. I've just said I love you to Alex. Only, I actually think I like the way that sounds and I hope that soon it will be said for real. As boyfriend and girlfriend. After all this time I've wanted to tell him I love him and I've just done it. Only, did he mean it that way?

I was interrupted half way through thought as Alex burst through the door.

"Lauren, come downstairs. Just as I thought, you hysterical mum rang my mum about you going missing."
"Oh, so she's that bad, she couldn't even text me or anything.. Ugh."
"C'mon, just come. You don't have to go back if you don't want to."

He pulled me close again, only this time with his arms around my waist. He looked directly in to my eyes and I could see he wanted to kiss. I want it too. I've wanted this for two years now. I wont back away. He leaned in and I moved my head towards his.

We kissed. We actually just kissed. It was more amazing that I thought it would be. He thought the same too.

"Lauren, Has anyone told you you're a great kisser?" That same little smirk he had on his face when I first saw him came back. It was great that I had made it come back.
"No, but you just have! I don't want to go back home. I want to stay here, with you." I stuck my tongue out at him. He kissed me again and said, "C'mon. We best go down stairs now. My mum's waiting."

The smile we both had on our faces were fucking priceless. I decided to take a picture of this precious moment before he led me downstairs..

I really do love this kidda (even though he's older.. but who cares). He's amazing.