Painting Flowers

Christmas? In Baltimore? Seriously? I realized I wasn't breathing and slowly exhaled, turning to face the city.

"Are you sure?" Is the only sentence I can put together, making him chuckle a bit.
"Seriously?" He asked, wrapping me in his arms. "I know it's last minute. I could fly you out in a couple days, or whenever is good for you, you could stay with me & then you can fly back with us when we come to play Times Square on New Years Eve. Please?" He whispers the last word into my neck. I felt chills spreading over my body and it had nothing to do with the weather. I think of what Nate will say, realize it doesn't matter as much as I act like it does, and nod slowly.
"Really? You'll come?" He asks excitedly. I spin in his arms, my face barely an inch from his.
"Of course." I smile. He leans in and kisses my forehead. This might just be the best Christmas I've had since 2000, why would I pass this up?

--

"I'm sorry, what?" Drew and Brad were both just staring at me.
"Jack asked me last night. I leave on the 21st."
"I'm going to trust you on this only because you've been following this band for ever. Otherwise I'd have you committed." Brad smirks. We were sitting in Cooper Square where I was supposed to meet Nathan for lunch.
"I do kinda feel like I've known them for years." I giggle.
"Of course you do! Thanks to Tumblr and Twitter, you know their every move. You've watched them grow into what they are today. You first saw them in what, '06?" Drew smiled.
"Spring of 2007. March 3rd, I believe." I smile. "They covered Dammit for the encore."
"Damn." Brad leans back, taking a sip of his Starbucks concoction.
"What?" Nathan furrows his brow as he walks up. I stand and hug him.
"Nothing. Just talking about the band." I brush it off.
"And?" Drew gives me a knowing look. I glare back at her before facing Nate again.
"I'm spending Christmas in Baltimore."
"With Jack." He deadpans, a look of slight dissappointment in his eyes. "You sure about this?"
"Man, she's known these guys for years. You know how much they mean to her." Brad backs me up immedietely, making me smile softly.
"Yeah, but...." He falls silent. I grab his hand and wave goodbye to Drew and Brad.
"I promise you nothing bad will happen."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I know these boys. Just becuase they aren't you, Brad and Will doesn't mean they're out to get me. Not everyone is like that."
"You see the good in everybody, though, Ash. You always do and it's gonna get you really hurt one day."
"It already has." I stop and turn to him.
"You know I'm sorry."
"That's not the point."
"Then what is?" He asks, growing frustrated.
"I need to take risks, Nathan. Some things are worth the chance of getting hurt. You were one of them, singing in public was one of them, this is one of them." I say as I walk up the steps to the New York Film Academy Cafe. He sighs and follows me in.
"Okay, let's say this all goes how every fangirl dreams. What happens when he's gone for 1 month or 2 touring? You're not going to quit school. It's not happening."
"Relax. I'm not quitting school." I roll my eyes. "It would be awesome to make a career out of my music but I know mom and dad would want me to get a degree first. I'll handle the distance. What else would I do?"
"And you're just gonna trust that he's not playing you?"
"Yes." I answer with no hesitation. My phone buzzed and I unlocked it.

@JackAllTimeLow mentioned you in a tweet!
@JackAllTimeLow missin @sowrongitsashtyn already. damn. this will be the longest two days of my life. nice username btw ;)

I can't help it. I crack up. "Honestly, if he's gonna be public about it, he won't take the chance of getting caught. He's not that stupid." I say, handing my phone to Nathan so he can read the tweet.
"I guess I can't really argue with that...and your phones about to explode." He handed my phone back to me, which was now buzzing non-stop.
"I'm going to kill him for tagging me in that." I shook my head. I had 34 new follower requests & close to 50 mentions. All variations of the same question: Are you dating Jack?!

I think for a second before typing a reply to Jacks.

@JackAllTimeLow miss you too <3 can't wait to see you! thanks for the sudden popularity btw. :p

and then I type a new one

to all that are asking, ask Jack! (;

I wordlessly sit my phone down and pick up my mug of hot chocolate. Nathans phone buzzes from his pocket and he reads my tweet. He laughs and shakes his head.

"Pretty sure you just started a war on tumblr." I shrug, smiling. I'll find out when I get back to the dorm. He slides his phone back into his pocket and starts picking at his sandwich, his face growing solomn again. "Can I ask you a serious question, without the risk of getting slapped in the face?" This sparks my interest.
"Yes..." I answer slowly.
"You aren't eating."
"That's not a question." This earns me a stern look.
"Why aren't you eating?"
"I'm not hungry." I shrug again, having a feeling where this is about to go.
"This has nothing to do with the band, but seriously, Ash. I know you've been drinking the past few nights cause you've been partying and I want to know that you're not falling back into old habits. I know you didn't eat the night of the concert. You never do. Have you eaten since then?" I'm frozen, staring at him from over the rim of my cup that I'm still holding close to my face.
"Yes." I say, slightly offended.
"How much?"
"You ask like you know the answer." I say icily, ignoring my once vibrating phone.
"I'm afraid I do." He shoots back.
"I ate breakfast and lunch yesterday."
"Let me guess, cause the boys ate?"
"Well, yeah."
"Please eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Ashtyn, please."
"I'll eat later. I promise. I just want this for now." I say, picking up my hot chocolate and taking another sip. Actually, I hadn't really eaten much when I was with the band either, but no one had noticed & I was thankful. Nathan didn't need to know that.