Man Like Me

Jude entered the hospital with a coffee in his hand. It had been a week since Robert and Penelope had lost their daughter and Jude had been visiting them every day. Robert never left the hospital. He was terrified of doing it not just because of Penelope but because of him. He was unstable and Jude knew it, what was keeping him together was the fact that he knew that he had to be strong for Penelope, she needed him.

He stopped on his tracks when he heard shouting and he furrowed his eyebrows as he realized that it came from Penelope’s hospital room.

“Penelope, how can you say that?! I would never blame you!” Robert yelled as Penelope curled into a ball, grasping the sheets in her hands as waterfalls poured from her eyes.

“But it was my fault, Robert. We lost Melody because of me.” Penelope muttered as Robert tried to look into her eyes but she wouldn’t let him “I’m a disappointment. I made you suffer. I ruined your life.”

“Penelope, stop.” Robert whispered as she began to sob.

“You shouldn’t marry me.” She said as she stared at the engagement ring she loved so much “It’s not fair. I lead you on… I… I ruined everything. I don’t deserve you or your love. I don’t…”

“PENELOPE STOP!” Robert shouted as he pulled her sheets back and forced her to look at him so she would stop her rambling.

She widened her eyes in horror as she kept crying “Let me go. Don’t touch me.” She said quietly which only made him grasp her tighter while he looked deep into her eyes, showing the mess he was inside.

“Stop saying those things, you’re being ridiculous. Please, don’t push me away.” He said with angry tears as his breathing got deeper.

The last few days had been very hard for them. Penelope felt guilty and Robert could feel the negativity around her. She felt so bad and worthless that she wouldn’t even want him physically close, she would always struggle about kissing him or letting him touch her. She felt like a total waste of space and, for a second, she wished that their paths had never crossed so that he wouldn’t have to suffer. She would gladly have given him happiness if that meant her unhappiness. She would have done anything to keep him from the pain, she would rather live it alone. She felt unworthy of him and she was willing to ripe her heart out, if necessary, to bring their daughter back.

But that was an illusion. She knew it and that was what hurt the most. On the other side, Robert was crushed. He felt like he had failed them all. He had promised to protect her, make everything alright and nothing was alright. Everything was in pieces, them included, and he had no idea of what to do. He knew that things wouldn’t be easy but when she started pulling herself away from him, he knew that he couldn’t allow it. Their relationship couldn’t be over, he needed her more than she knew.

“LET ME GO!” She yelled as he released her “And don’t call me ridiculous, you… you bastard!” Penelope yelled angrily as she realized what she had said and covered her mouth with her hand. With a loud gasp mixed with a cry, she quickly curled into a ball again.

Robert tensed up and kept his mouth shut in a tight line. He groaned furiously as he hurried out of the room and into his car, then he drove home.

“Robert?” Penelope called softly as she peeked out of the sheets to find herself alone “Robert…” She sobbed deeply as she sank her head into her pillow, crying.



Robert groaned as he opened his eyes lazily. It was cold and rainy outside and he fallen asleep in the car the second he parked it outside his house. It had been a few days since their ‘loss’ and he had only left Penelope’s side now because he knew that if he stayed he would have made things worse with his bad temper. She had begged him to go home and have a little time to shower, sleep or even write if he wanted to and he had always refused until now.

He stepped out of the car and, with shaky hands, he pushed the front door open. The house was silent and it smelled nice, obviously had been there to clean up the mess. Robert silently thanked him as he dragged himself upstairs and stared at the door to the nursery room.

He opened it and inhaled sharply. It was untouched and so pure that he started to cry immediately. He didn’t dare step in. He shut his eyes tightly and pushed the door closed. He ripped the cute decorations they had put on the door and he locked it. He didn’t know what to do with the room and
he wanted to decide that with Penelope.



“Penny.”

Penelope opened her eyes reluctantly as she uncovered her head to find her father standing close to her bed with his hand on her head.

“Dad.” She acknowledged as he nodded his head with a small smile.

He too had tears in his eyes, but old Jeremy knew that life could be merciless and he had hoped for his daughter to be finally happy with her child and boyfriend. Unfortunately, nothing happened that way.

“Dad I-“ Penelope started but her father soon shushed her as he kneeled down and set his hand over hers.

“Don’t worry sweetheart.” He said quietly “Everything will be alright.” He said as he pushed his arm over her shoulders while her hands grabbed his other hand.

“How did you know?” She asked.

“Zack called Jude because either you or Robert would pick up your phones and he told us.” Her father replied.

“Did he… did he tell you about everything?” She asked with fear in her voice.

Her father nodded his head and she shut her eyes closed. Aside from her and Robert, their families would suffer too and she didn’t know how to deal with that.

“I love you my little girl.”

Those words immediately hit a nerve as Penelope broke into tears holding tightly onto her father.

“I love you too dad.” She muttered between sobs as the man found himself crying while stroking his daughter’s hair.

They remained silent and in no time, Penelope was sleeping. When Robert returned, Penelope’s father hugged him and they both stood silent observing her.

“I noticed a ring.” Her father pointed out as they spoke quietly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, I asked her the night we… you know.” Robert said sadly as he buried his hands in his pockets.

Penelope’s father noticed the heaviness in his voice, the sadness in his brows but the love coming from deep within his eyes every time they set on the figure of his sleeping daughter.

“It’s alright. Zack told me that you had that conversation with him and I was thrilled.” The man confessed as Robert smiled.

Penelope slowly started to come back to consciousness but hearing the voices of her father and boyfriend, she decided to remain still and pretend to still be asleep.

“I’m afraid that Penelope might want to call it off.” Robert admitted, looking at his feet.

He was still processing that he was not going to be a father but he was, also, scared that Penelope would want to leave him. He knew that he could be dramatic and overreacting but he considered this fear, justifiable, and therefore it scared him to the pit of his stomach the possibility of losing her. He knew that he could only survive one loss, not two.

“Don’t let your current sadness, misguide you Robert.” Penelope’s father said wisely “I understand that you’re going through a though moment but you and Penelope need each other. She would never leave you, she was ready to stand up to everyone for you and she took a risk for you and for her. She loves you.”

Robert sighed and nodded his head “I love her too Mr. Bailey… More than writing, more than the beach, more than running in the morning… more than anything else.”

The two men fell silent and a few minutes later, Penelope’s father asked for Robert to call him when she woke up so that Zack could visit his sister. Robert agreed and after the man left, he took a seat near Penelope’s nightstand. He grabbed her hand softly and laid his head carefully close to hers.

“I’m sorry.” Penelope said after a long moment as Robert realized that she was awake but didn’t move “You are not a bastard, I was childish. I’ve pushing you away when we both need each other so much. I’m so sorry.”

Robert looked up and kissed her gently. Penelope shut her eyes and kissed him, for real, giving herself into it, pouring her emotions out in that act. He grasped her face gently and deepened the kiss, the sparks coming back to him while butterflies grew in her stomach. Their love was still there and it was a relief to both.

“And you… you are not ridiculous.” Robert whispered shaking his head as Penelope caressed his cheek.

“I want to marry you, Robert. Whatever happens to me,” Penelope said as she placed her hand on her belly, knowing that her internal recovery could still take a while “I want to marry you. I want to be your wife.”

Robert smiled brightly and kissed her forehead as he slowly sat on her bed and pulled her for a tight hug.

“I love you.” Penelope whispered as he smiled and buried his face on the crook of her neck.

“I love you too, Penelope. Forever.” He whispered against her sick as a smile grew in her features.

During that night, they stayed up discussing their feelings about their lost child. It was a difficult conversation, filled with tears, small silences but somehow they managed to get their point across to the other and come in contact again as a team, as a couple and as future husband and wife.

Penelope told Robert that Doctor Connor would be there in the morning to tell her about her exams and do the normal check-up and he grumpily stated that he wouldn’t leave her side. He disliked the woman now, there was nothing to be done about it.



“Alright, Penelope, everything seems to be healing perfectly.” Doctor Connor said as took her surgical gloves after examining Penelope “In less than a week you’ll be out of the hospital.”

Robert sat by Penelope’s side with a clear glare towards the young doctor and Penelope nodded her head, thanking her. The doctor glanced at Robert and sighed as she passed the room.

“Listen, I never meant to bring unhappiness to the both of you.” She cleared as Penelope gripped Robert’s had tighter so he wouldn’t snap “I genuinely believed that you would be able to conceive and take the pregnancy to the end. I’m sorry for the outcome and I’m sorry for the consequences.”

Penelope stiffened a bit. The exams hadn’t been positive for her: She was officially considered infertile. In some inconceivable way, her uterus and womb weren’t able to hold a child again because they would collapse and Penelope’s eggs were also considered unreliable, so pregnancy was definitely out of the picture for being so dangerous for her.

“But, there is a new hope.” The doctor said earning the couple’s attention “You are both young and about to get married. Robert, you are a known writer and financially stable and, you, Penelope are about to graduate so that gives you both high credibility.” The doctor started as Robert cleared his throat.

“Where is this taking us?” He asked seriously.

“Adoption.” The doctor said straight away “I know that adoption processes are tough but you a powerful couple in terms of candidates. It’s something to consider.”

Penelope and Robert exchanged a look, both confused, still over-whelmed but they both could see the small twinkle in the eyes of the other. Even though, Robert was the most vocal about wanting to be a parent, Penelope was ready herself to be a mother and she wanted it.

“We’ll think about it.” Penelope replied towards the doctor as she excused herself and both Penelope and Robert sat in silence, both of them contemplating what they thought about adoption and if they were ready to move on so soon to a process that was painful in other ways and that would require a lot from them.