Man Like Me

One week later

Penelope pushed Robert softly out of the bedroom as he insisted to stay to help her pack but she knew that he needed to eat so that was why she was pushing him.

“Oww, please let me help you.” Robert pouted as she chuckled and kissed his cheek.

“You need breakfast. You haven’t been eating properly and you are a big boy, you need to be properly fed.” She said resting her hands on his chest making him grin as he kissed her forehead.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” He said as he smiled at her before rushing to the cafeteria floor.

Penelope smiled as she watched him go and then turned to the flowers her father and brother had given her the day before. They had visited her every single day and she couldn’t describe how essential their support had become. She sighed but smiled at the same time. She had been in the hospital for a week and she was finally going home, she couldn’t wait.

As she bent down to finish packing, a ball came in jumping through the front door. She furrowed her eyebrows and moved to pick it up when suddenly a small boy entered the room giggling and laughing. When he saw her with the ball in her hands, he stopped on his tracks and folded his hands in front of him.

“I'm sorry,” He started still with a very child-like voice while his bright blue eyes looked at her with embarrassment “That is my ball. I didn’t mean to throw it here.”

Penelope smiled warmly and approached him gently “No problem. Here you go.” She said as she bent down to hand him the ball.

Robert was finally able to smile a bit. Penelope was coming home and he was thrilled about it. He had eaten a sandwich, drank a coffee and he was headed to her room.

“Nathan! Nathan, where are you sweetheart?”

Robert froze on his spot as he recognized a voice and his breath got stuck in his throat as he saw a skinny, pale-looking Holly exit a room with a nurse beside her. She had lost a great amount of weight and she looked very weak but what shocked him was the scarf around her head and the fact that the nurse had to actually be around so she wouldn’t fall.

Suddenly, she turned around and saw him. She groaned and tried to hide her face but it was too late. He had seen her and he was shocked. He hadn’t seen her in a few months and suddenly she was completely different.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She snarled as she approached him enough to peek into the rooms around where he was standing.

“I’m not doing anything.” He assured her as she locked her eyes with his.

He could see the embarrassment, the shame, the fury, the anger. She looked completely wrecked and her body was showing it perfectly. She had almost no eyebrows or eyelashes and her face was very corpse-like.

“Stop studying me.” She said seriously as he locked his eyes with hers.

“I’m not.” He said seriously as she started to shake and her eyes filled with tears.

“Are you happy to see me like this?” She asked quietly as he gave her a slightly hurt look.

“Of course not.” He replied quietly as he saw lose a bit of her balance and told the nurse to go, while he stayed with her “How can you think that of me?”

“I don’t.” She replied promptly “This is my way to constantly defend myself.” She admitted as he recognized that trait of hers. Holly would do anything to defend herself and most of the time she’d just be rude or inappropriate to the person before her. He was always the punching bag.

“Who are you looking for?” He asked as she cleared her throat.

“My son, Nathan.” Holly replied as Robert nodded his head and promised to help while trying to overcome the shock of seeing her like that.

As they searched the floor calmly so that Holly could keep up, she ended up confessing that she had been sick for a year. When Robert saw her and thought that she was pregnant, she was actually swelling from all the drugs she had been given. She had never been pregnant for a second time and she was currently raising her son on her own because her husband had left her after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

She told Robert that Nathan was about 6 years old now and he was a bright young boy. Robert found himself smiling weakly that was the Holly he loved once. The sweet Holly, whose eyes sparkled as she told him about her son but he couldn’t help but to be sad about his own circumstances. He wondered how his life would be if everything had happened normally for him and Penelope.

“So how long until you recover?” Robert asked, forcing himself not to think about his child. He had promised himself to move on for his sake and Penelope’s.

“I… I’m not recovering.” Holly said as fear clouded her words “This treatment was my last chance and it didn’t work.”

Robert’s eyes widened as they heard a childish laughter.

“What about your son?” He asked quietly as Holly brightening up, recognizing the voice of her son.

“He’s going to an institution.” She told him sadly but as her son ran up to hug her legs she cheered up and kneeled down to his level to hug him “Hello champion!”

Robert looked ahead of him to see Penelope on her room with a ball in her hands. She stared at Robert curiously, missing to realizing that in front of her stood Holly, his ex-wife and a dying woman, and her son, Nathan, with whom Penelope had been playing with for the past hour.



“What’s upsetting you?” Penelope asked as she peeked from the bathroom to see Robert sitting on bed, staring at the ceiling.

His heart was heavy. Everything was dropping like bombs. As much as Holly hurt him, he could never wish for her to be dead specially because she was a mother and Nathan was still so young and needing her. He sighed. He wished he could do something to help them.

“Sweetheart?” Penelope called softly, taking him from his thoughts as he welcomed her into his embrace.

As much as Holly’s situation broke his heart, Penelope was more important. She needed him, this was their fresh start and his priorities were straight.

“I’m so glad to have you home.” He whispered as he kissed her forehead and pulled the covers over them as she rested her hand on his chest, tugging on his t-shirt.

“Do you remember that boy?” Penelope asked as Robert swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head.

That hour that Penelope had spent with little Nathan had made her day. He was adorable, sweet and intelligent but most of all, he helped her realize that she could actually be a good mother, a good game buddy and as she played with him, she felt happy. His smile lighted up her heart.

“There was something about him.” She started as she told Robert what they had done and what an amazing child he was.

Robert was divided. On one hand he was smiling but on the other side, his grip around her got tighter. He hadn’t told her about who they really were yet but seeing her speaking like that, he decided to tell. He watched her smile fade into pure shock and surprise. Penelope had imagined for her first encounter with Holly not to be so calm but the woman hadn’t even spoken or glanced at her. She just took her son by the hand and left.

The truth was that Holly was happy for Robert. She would never admit it but seeing her son’s smile after playing with Penelope, Holly knew that Robert had finally found someone who deserved him.

3 Months Later

Penelope hanged her diploma proudly on the wall, next to Robert’s, and climbed down from the ladder to stand beside him. He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“I’m so proud of you.” He says with a genuine smile as he gazed at her diploma and then at his.

Penelope was also smiling, even though she was exhausted. Her past week had been hectic but she had passed all of her exams exceptionally and gotten 3 recommendation letters that she believed would be enough for her to apply to a few book editor jobs and she was looking forward to that.

“Ready to get married?” She grinned as he nodded his head while she kissed his lips passionately.

They were going to get married tomorrow at the local registry. She was using a simple dress and he was using a suit. There would be no bachelor/bachelorette parties and no big reception afterwards. The guest list was very short: Jude, Zack, Penelope’s father, her friend Claudia and Robert’s parents. After the ceremony, Penelope and Robert were taking their guests to a fancy restaurant to have lunch. After that they were leaving for a 5-day trip to the German Alps, because Penelope had never seen snow and Robert wanted to teach her how to ski.

Penelope had tried to speak to her mother and after much struggle, the woman was honest and said that she did not want to be at the wedding or part of her daughter’s married life. After knowing of what happened with the baby, the woman couldn’t help but to pull her tears in as much as she could, she knew that her daughter was suffering. Deep down she would always feel a bit guilty and she would never look at Penelope or at Kyle in the same way. Penelope did her best to understand her mother’s side and agreement to have tea with her wherever she wanted or just talk through the phone if she preferred. It was a solution that pleased the woman, to an extent, and that left Penelope with the tranquility of knowing that at least she had tried.

That night Robert slept with his head resting on Penelope’s stomach and he slept like an angel while Penelope couldn’t sleep. She ran her hands softly through his hair as she heard the pouring rain outside. Aside from having normal ‘bride nerves’, there was something else in her mind.

During the last three months she had had at least 3 appointments because her doctor was being extremely careful this time, she wanted to make sure that Penelope healed well and completely so after their trip she was going to have another appointment. Her last appointment had been marked by something else, though, when the doctor brought up the adoption subject up again and both Penelope and Robert got a bit stiff. They had not spoken of it yet, not because they didn’t want to but because they considered that, personally, neither of them was ready so none of them had the courage or will to bring the subject up.

After Penelope left the hospital, they were only able to get into the nursery 2 weeks later. No tears were shed, surprisingly, but as they dissembled the furniture, packed the toys to hand to children in orphanages and re-did the room, there was sadness hovering in the air but they knew that they needed to do it together. After that was done, she focused on her exams and Robert on his book and the proposition he got for a film adaptation of his ‘Sherlock Holmes’ series. They became busy but at the same time they kept working on bonding again and preparing their wedding. So in a way, there hadn’t been time to discuss adoption and they hadn’t made an effort to create that time.

The doctor brought it up very calmly, giving them big hopes about adoption. She had complete trust that they were good candidates and surely they would be able to adopt, probably even a small child but she let them be without any pressure. Penelope knew that she would bring the subject up again in the next appointment, she was sure of it.

Penelope thought of adoption as a good option for them, she had even thought about adopting a child when she was a teenager. She would love to be the home for a child but she wasn’t looking forward to the emotional part of it. She was still a wreck, hurt and she knew that adoption sounded marvelous but was a hard process and, even though, their doctor had a ‘good feeling’ she couldn’t make any decisions and Penelope was afraid that she and Robert would start seeing children, getting attached to them but then never be able to be their parents. If she could avoid that, she would.

But all of this was a remote chance and a small worry compared to the other bubbling inside her head: Nathan. She couldn’t forget about the little boy, not after what Robert said about Holly and what was going to happen to her and the changes it would bring upon his life. Then she had a sudden moment of clarity and widened her eyes slightly: What if they adopted Nathan?